Capo

Very funny...merci! <BR><BR>Jackie, you're right, it does sound like Dave Barry's style of writing. And, speaking of Barry & France, here's a July 1, 2001 column of his in the Miami Herald entitled "Americans in Paris may face waiters who are 'les snobs'"<BR><BR>http://www.miami.com/herald/special/features/barry/2001/docs/july1.htm<BR><BR>And a few more Barry columns: "Parlez-vous Fran&ccedil;ais?", "An Aesthetically Challenged American in Paris (Part II)", and "Coffee, tea or dried wood chips?" <BR><BR>P.S. I don't know who originally wrote what Keith posted above, but here's a website with it...<BR><BR>http://www.htcomp.net/weis/francetravel.html<BR>

Capo

Ooops, those other Dave Barry columns about France are at:<BR><BR>http://www.htcomp.net/weis/barryparis.html

sandi

Say what you will about the French, they DO have a great sense of timing...after we won the second world war for them, Charles (de Gaul, that is) rode trumphantly into Paris and took all the credit.

amedeo

A poorly padded invective, not a satire.

xxx

and the best thing about germany is that it is not france...

Elinor

This is very funny and made me laugh. I especially liked the list of holidays. But if Keith didn't write it himself, it's plagiarism.

clairobscur

Personnally, I find this text fun, but I read it so many time that it gets old.<BR><BR>I don't know who's the original author, but the text has been reused (without credit) by the editorialist of a major south-african paper (with some slight changes, like the hamburgers replaced by some south-african dish)when some south african public figure visited france.<BR><BR>Also, the text usually comes with final comments stating it was issued by the american embassy, and depicting in the same tongue-in-check way how unhelpful the embassy can be for american tourists, which according to the text would be perfectly fine, since why sane people would want to take vacations outside the US, anyway...

clairobscur

Here the end of the text I was refering to :<BR><BR><BR>A Word of Warning<BR><BR>The consular services of the United States government are intended<BR>solely for the promotion of the interests of American businesses<BR>such as McDonald's, Pizza Hut and the Coca-Cola Corporation. In the<BR>event that you are the victim of a crime or serious injury involving at<BR>least the loss of a limb, report to the American Embassy between the<BR>hours of 5.l5am and 5.20 am on a Tuesday or Wednesday, and a consular<BR>official who is supremely indifferent to your plight will give you a<BR>list of qualified dentists or something similarly useless.<BR><BR>Remember, no one ordered you to go abroad. Personally, we always take<BR>our holidays at Miami Beach, and you are advised to as well.<BR><BR>Good luck.<BR><BR><BR>

MaryC

topping for Julie (jlawrence)

PMC

This is so well written that I would suspect copyright infringement, except that it seems to specifically written with reference to squabbles here! Bravo. <BR><BR>Re: source/nationality of Keith Rowland -- didn't anyone go to www.artbell.org to see what that's about?

Hello..

PMC, Capo clearly gave a website where this piece of prose could be found (definitely plagiarism). http://users.htcomp.net/weis/francetravel.html<BR><BR>I was pretty funny, though. Hard to imagine anyone taking it seriously. Glad you were able to pick up on the tone, Maira--it's hard in a foreign language.

Maira

WOW! I first answered this thread about four years ago and just went to town with it! The message AND the responses can still make me laugh

Didier

Keith:<BR><BR>Would you by any chance be available for diner next Wednesday in Paris? Me and my friends found your text so humorous that we would like to meet you. We will pay first class airfare if you can make it. This is not a joke. <BR><BR>The diner will be held at my place: 12, av. Foch (16e). 20:00 hrs sharp.<BR><BR>Didier

Metoo

I'd love to be there, Didier; just be sure not to sprain your back.

Didier

Meeto:<BR><BR>You're welcomed to attend. Don't worry about my back. I won't be playing golf next week.<BR>That being said, ta gueule, je crois que &ccedil;a va mordre, l&agrave;.<BR>

Sam

Hey Didier<BR><BR>There's a young woman gunning for you on the cheese - pasteurization thread. <BR><BR>Are you as little as she says you are?

Didier

Tu vois, &ccedil;a comme &agrave; mordre!

Tallulah

Just found this thread - not sure how - and have to say it did make me laugh! Thought I'd top it....

bookchick

Based on the date, I'd say Keith must be in high school now. Hope the report he did on France for summer school didn't put him any further behind. But then again, by now he's probably making distinctions between &quot;old Europe&quot; and whatever the alternative to &quot;old Europe&quot; is!

BC

imelda72

Well, I'm glad Tallulah bumped this up! I've never seen this one before, and it was very funny. (Granted, I did take a couple of sentences to realize it was a joke)

Best parts: national holidays, of course, and...dare I mention it...

&quot;In general, France is a safe destination, though travelers are advised that, from time to time, it is invaded by Germany.&quot;

LOL!