I've just returned from a three week trip to Amsterdam and environs. I travelled alone and found, much to my surprise, that there are many pluses in it.

I am now retired but when I worked I travelled a great deal usually by myself, but travelling for pleasure meant travelling with a wife and or children.

I found that I liked travelling alone. For example, when I arrived, I was suffering jet lag, and crawled into bed and slept for most of the first day. I didnt have anyone to whisper in my ear that" we are in Amsterdam and should go out and see..."whatever..and it is costing us money.

I love museums but not for four or five hour stretches. I usually know what I want to see and it takes approximately two hours. I've been with people who felt that two hours was too much and those who wanted to see everything in the museum (since we paid for it) no matter how long it took. And it would take all day. A day in a museum in Florence dampened my love of the Italian masters. We stood at the feet of the statue fo David for forty minutes. Why? To this day I don't know.

Have you ever had trouble when travelling with a spouse or relatives in picking out what where to eat and when? It's obviously not a problem when you travel sans companion.

I don't want to sound misanthrophic..I dont think I am, but seeing a foreign country brings out the worse and the best in people.

In Australia, my forty year old nephew only wanted to eat in American fast food joints. I finally got him to eat in a fine Balkan restaurant in Sydney and he loved it.

I am single and live in NYC, and don't like dining out alone. However, It doesnt bother meit when I am in a foreign country. I don't know why. I think being labeled as a tourist makes it okay to be dining alone.

It doesn't make sense but then there it is. I figure the waiters think my family were seeing some church or museum or shopping and the old geezer didnt want to go with them.

Another point. I also like street food, like the hot-dogs in a blanket in the square in Copenhagen and the herring, pickle and onion on a bun in the street market in Amsterdam. It is a spontaneous craving and someone saying "Are you really want to eat THAT?" kills the spontaneity of trying a new street treat.

I like to walk and it makes it easier if I am doing by myself. When I walk with my daughter, I have to walk fast to keep up with her. Although she says she is keeping up with me. And when I walk with others they tell me that I am walking too fast.
And I like to explore every street.Even if it is off the beaten path. If I hear "Why go there? It's out of way" it kills the Lewis and Clark in me.

I notice often that couples in a bus, train and especially in a restaurant often argue about where to sit! Often the argument escalates and I've seen those couples eat in complete silence as one has lost the argument.
I sit where I want. Of course,I sit alone but I'm not sitting in a snit.

There are benefits of travelling with someone..someone you love. one,is you can share great experiences with them as they happen. I find I do miss that. Weekslater when youre sharing the photographs with family it isn't the same.Sharing a sunse with someone is a lot better than sharing a photo of a sunset.
Two, when your back itches or your need someone to massage your back... Need I finish?
I have found that I am wont to say with awe"Isn't that a beautiful sunset?" And if I am referring to a street map I will mutter," I am on Jardinstraat and must turn left at..." and the people will look at me as if I am odd. (I am)Of course, that happens in Manhattan but nobody notices.

Seriously, how many of you have travelled alone and found it either a good or bad experience?

I travel solo for business all the time, but have never traveled internationally alone. I've got a trip coming up the end of October where I will be soloing in France. I haven't told my family yet, because they will be worried, tearful, etc., but I'm determined to go alone for all the reasons that you stated.

I haven't had horrible experiences traveling with companions - it can be wonderful, and it is great, at times, to have someone to share a moment of awe. But I'm greatly anticipating being on my own and doing exactly as I please!

I decided a number of years ago, that if I was going to travel, I couldn't wait around until I found someone to travel with. I had traveled a lot with my family when I was young, then with friends, but got to that awkward age when most friends were married, didn't want to go with mummy & daddy anymore. I quit traveling for a couple of years, then decided that I didn't want to wait around, so took off for Paris and Holland. Since then, I've been loads of places by myself. Sometimes it's good, sometimes I wish I had someone to share my adventures with. However, I find that I am more adventurous when I am by myself. I do have a number of friends abroad, so tend to visit them while I am near them. But still, I spend the majority of that time on my own. I am planning to be in the UK the week around Thanksgiving by myself, visiting friends.

i made my first trip to europe and north africa by myself in 1971. i distinctly recall not wanting to travel with friends who would likely not be friends after the trip.

i have a somewhat strong willed personality that would not gel well with group travel. i knew that then and not much has changed other than my wife who is equally as strident tho with a rather differing slant.

we split must do's. i don't drag her to every museum and church; she doesn't take me shopping (much). she sees stuff i would have missed in the streets and i get to be docent at the uffizi.

it's nice to share moments. but the likelihood of my ever taking a "tour" is like the proverbial snowball in hell.

Dear Uncle Art
I must confess that until recently I thought your moniker was "Famous Unclear T" - I am the one who is unclear, obviously!
I agree so wholeheartedly with your post. In fact, I consider the point at which I started my solo tripping to be when I became a "traveler" and no longer a "tourist".
It would take a whole LOT of convincing to make me travel with anyone again, and especially with more than one other person. Isn't Amsterdam a fun city to discover on your own? I've found that it adds to one's cachet when people find out you've gone on these solo travels - because they just can't imagine it!
I take along books I've been meaning to read on trips, and since that is usually the only contact I have with my language (English), the books become quite memorable. I read Theodore Dreiser while in Lisbon, John Cheever in Japan, etc. - those books are indelible in my thoughts.
Keep on truckin!

After the children grew up, and my husband can't go with me as often as I can, I tried to travel alone. Hated it! Now when I can't find friends or relatives to go along I just join a tour group, but with a single supplement only, I appreciate the privacy of my own hotel room at night, and the availability of people on tours to share "ahhs" and "oohhhhs" with.

I have been traveling alone for many years and really enjoy it. It is great to make all decisions and not cater to anyone else. I don't really plan much in advance and do what I feel like doing at that moment. I just took a last minute trip to London and concentrated on the theatre and little else. Some of my solo trips I try to combine with a class or volunteer project so that part of the time I do have company.

I like to travel alone so I can do what I want when I want-but I undoubtedly find myself standing in front of something amazing saying " I wish so-and-so could see this".

I agree with you completely! I had travelled with my parents, lived in Europe briefly as a teenager. My husband and I did very little traveling, and after our divorce I was so busy raising children alone that I really didn't have the time. My traveling adventures started out with a few tours in the US and Europe, which I enjoyed, but didn't like the restrictions. After my first solo trip to London about 15 years ago, I realized this was really the only way for me!

I haven't ventured outside of England and France solo yet - but may yet. I rented a car in May and toured around the Loire Valley, and am doing the same thing in October, but to Burgundy. When I get too old for this sort of thing guess I'll go back to the tours - but I hope that's not for a long time!

Uncle Art, it's nice to hear you had a great time. I know you'd posted that things were a little slow the last couple of days you were there. I'm glad you worked it out and have great memories of your trip. Did you do anything special to keep the European mood the last day or two? I'm interested because I'm a solo traveler at times and I'll certainly file away what worked for you to possibly help me in the future.

fairfax, I'm at that awkward age too, no not puberty. I'm 42, never married and have the desire and financial ability to travel. Almost all my friends have kids, soccer leagues, school, etc.

I put off solo travel for years and finally went by myself for 2.5 weeks in the Loire Valley in May 2001. It was part of my "40th birthday celebration for me" when I spent 8 weeks in Europe. Due to schedules I could only have family and a friend over for 5.5 of the weeks. I'd been to Europe several times. I knew how to catch trains and rent cars and order food in a foreign country. However I was terrified I'd be a few days into it and say to myself, ?This sucks! I want somebody I know to talk to.?

It never happened. I kept busy. I chatted with people around me everywhere. I would sit in a cafe and watch the people. I would see churches, museums and whatever I wanted. I'd bump into English speakers and have polite conversations with them. Sometimes helping them a bit, a few times even having dinner with them. I really, really enjoyed my time. In fact I went back to France for another week a year later by myself. I told myself that I only turn 41 once.

I've never minded eating alone. I've traveled some in the US for business and got used to it. Though I really like being able to eat at bars in the US. If the bar is busy I people watch; if it isn't bartenders are usually willing to chat. It doesn't seem like eating at the bar of places in Europe is an option. Maybe I don't go to the right places, or know how to ask.

I was planning my 3rd solo to France for this Thanksgiving when one of my few single friends decided it had been 18 months since he'd been to Europe and couldn't take it anymore. I'm really excited. It's fun to have somebody to talk to and share. But never again will going alone stop me from going.

I admit I'm not inclined to go someplace that doesn't speak English or French. Even though my French is old I can still read museum plaques, instructions and menus. I think that's why my solo trips have been to France. It's "foreign" enough to be a challenge, but not so strange that I'd feel completely isolated. Especially since I have a tendency to get out of large metro areas and into the countryside. I do think the Netherlands would be easy 'cause it seems like everyone speaks English. The same is true with Finland, Sweden and Norway. But for now it's gonna be France for awhile.

Welcome home.
The best picture on your website was the one of you and Connie.

I guess I had rather have my travel mate with me than to go alone. She is too valuable to leave behind. I don't think I would function as well without her. In fact, I know I would not.
I need someone to talk to, a creative with which to develop ideas, share the pleasures, and face the uncertainties of travel. I have tried it all 3 ways: alone, with a less than preferable companion, and my current mate. I don't like the first two, and find the 3rd one the only way I really enjoy life. But, I suppose I am lucky.

There certainly are many pluses to traveling alone and I'm grateful I got over my apprehension many, many years ago. I have my first husband (the guitar player) to thank for that. He dumped me (literally) in Venice my very first time there. I had no foreign language skills, I couldn't stop crying, it was raining (which helped camouflage my tears), and I had to get the rental car out of the Car-Park at Piazzale Roma and return it to Rome and I couldn't remember where it had been parked and I didn't know how to drive a stick shift. We're talking classic Woody Allen here. By the time I got to Florence and then settled in Tuscany for 14 days, I had become a five-speed pro, an excellent map reader, and a determined woman who would never let another controlling man in her life again. (Oh, to be young and stupid again. No thanks.)

I started to travel professionally by the time I turned 23 and quickly got spoiled with four-star hotel service that someone else paid for. I have very fond memories at numerous Ritz-Carltons, several Four Seasons, every Ian Schrager/Phillipe Starck creation, and a bungalow or two at the Beverly Hills pink palace. I'm sorry I can't share the love affairs (all sex) here.

It's much easier to be on-the-road, alone in the USA. It's a whole other sense-of-security issue in a foreign country, especially for a woman. My Venice debacle strengthened my resolve and the next time I found myself in Europe (for work) I led the brigade. Many mistakenly call it "ego" but I know from personal experience that there's nothing like the power that healthy self-esteem provides. (Here is where I thank all my therapists.)

After I took the plunge to learn a few important phrases in French and Italian, my solo travel experiences changed dramatically. I was no longer alone. I naturally attract outgoing people and found myself being invited to parties and places I never knew existed. There isn't a guide book written that could show you what I've seen and experienced and all I did was go along for the ride.

I'm actually a very easy person to travel with as long as you're not a controlling personality. I could stand at David's feet for eight hours and bask in the joy of God. I can also take friends there for their first time and leave after ten minutes because they had seen enough. I love being flexible and easy and I attract people who feel the same. But, when it comes to good food and quality of life, look out! I become the love child of Joan Crawford and Martha Stewart.

In closing, there's nothing like sharing every bit of life's beauty with someone who appreciates it as much as you. When he or she is not available, don't hesitate to experience it alone.

Dear FAMOUSUNCLEART,
even though I haven't been travelling solo and there will be four of us in Amsterdam in two weeks - I'd LOVE to hear some about your Amsterdam trip.

How about telling all of us a bit about your impressions, exciting finds and special tipps?

Dear Famousuncleart

I started travelling alone in 1999, and I have been doing it ever since. The main reason: Private, unique, and deep personal experiences. I can concentrate in what I feel, how the sceneray impacts me. A complete nurturing experience. When I travel with other folks I get distracted and I find that few people share the same insights I have given my life experiences.
I am going on a tour of Italy with a group (I let others handle my luggage and hotel arrangements) but the experience will be mine. I draw my own conclusions, and some times I get enriched by somebody else's insights, but I find that most of the time fellow travelers are there for future "show and tells" while in my case I treasure every personal memory that may or maynot make sense to other people. So, off I go to Rome to be there for the beatification of Mother Teresa, an event I want to see for myself, without any religious motive, just curiousity. And if I get caught in the spirit of the masses, so be it.

Let's see what I can experience, without anybody passing judgement on what I think or feel.

Susana

P.S. I am a very generous and gregarious person and have two beautiful adult children, as well as great friends.

NYCFoodSnob, What a good story! C'est vrai?

"without anybody passing judgement on what I think or feel"

"find that most of the time fellow travelers are there for future 'show and tells'"

Merci beaucoup, jmw. Bien sûr c'est vrai. Je parle seulement la vérité.

I'm working backwards, gang, so bear with me. Lots of good replies. I have documented my recent trips on Webshots,and if you want to see them use http://community.webshots.com/user/actorz
I took a passle of pictures on my recent trip and will probably post them.
I agree Mrwunfri, I do love to talk about or write or show what the trip was all about. It also is part of my journals which I've kept--not everyday but sketches of what happened.
also thanks I also think the picture of Connie and I is the best in the album...I didn't take it.

I really do think NYCfoodsnob that you possibly do the same thing. If you don't keep a journal, you should. Your reflections are very interesting. Ireally do admire your fexlibility. When I was married I did share my travels with someone I loved. I don't deny that I do miss it at.

Famous Unclear T!!! What is an unclear T, a letter on an eye chart. LOL. Sorry about that dogvima. Your not the first one who made that mistake. Also, I take along unread NY Times magazines with me. I think they are pretty tepid lately but make great reads for a traveller.

Fairfax, your point about being more adventurous when you are alone. I've walked into a theatre in Haarlem when they were setting up for a play. Nobody stopped me and I watched it for about an hour, talked to stage hands, but didn't I get to chat up actors...some of you know that I am an actor..but if I were travelling with my wife, I really not only not do it...I wouldn't even think about it. lol.

Indytravel, your monicker reflects your travelling alone and loving it. I agree with you.

Your arrangment subcon is an excellent one and if it works for me. However, would you or will you want to travel alone.
I can understand those who hate travelling alone. My revelation was that a solo tourist has excellent features.

The inputs gives me a lot of thought and, in a way, has made the solo Amsterdam trip seem absolutely right.

Thanks again

I am single, so traveling alone makes perfect sense. I am VERY careful about who I would travel with, even among good friends, especially going internationally with several cities and various transportation involved. (I'm less choosy about who I lay around on a beach in Mexico with is my point of that ramble.)

I am not a big sightseer or museum goer, just like to get into a new city, sit at a sidewalk cafe, drink some wine, have lunch in the park, like that. I am endlessly fascinated by grocery stores, post office, churches, laundrymatts, anything that is normal day-to-day in a foreign place. This would not be interesting to most people, is my guess.

And as mentioned in the original post I *really* crack up evesdropping on people fighting on vacation. Hey when I take the wrong bus, or pick a city I don't enjoy, I change it. I'm certainly not going to give myself a hard time.

I've mentioned before in posts on this subject the ONE thing I do miss, is having someone to watch your stuff while you run to the bathroom in an airport!