That Crazy Hotel

Sep 21st, 2003, 08:18 PM
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That Crazy Hotel

During my recent tour of Ireland I chanced to stay at a hotel near Tralee, the Earl of Desmond. It did not take the group long to apply some nicknames to it, such as Falty Towers by the milder mannered ones and Hotel Crazy*** by the more incensed.

I myself prefer the second name because I think it is more descriptive.

First, upon entering our rooms, many of us could not make the lights work. Finally we discovered that there was an unmarked master switch that controlled some, but not all, of the electrical fixtures and appliances. Most of the switches were not marked on or off, so you had to guess. By trying all 4 possible combinations, 3 of which would not work of course, we finally got some of the lights on. (I never before had to apply the principles of the exclusive or to light switches.) Then it turned out that some of the wall plugs also had switches that did not respond to the master switch, such as the one that controlled the TV. And at least one light bulb was burned out in several cases which did not make the task any easier.

Second, when we used the bathroom, we discovered that the handle to flush the potty was not readily found. After looking around we found it INSIDE the shower.
There was no shower curtain, but a plexiglass shield that extended from the wall about 3 feet. The shield was hinged, but if you pushed it open enough to reach the handle, it covered about half the handle. So the only way to flush was to either have very long and strong arms or step into the shower to get the proper leverage on the handle.

Third, on the first morning, there was no hot water for showers, just a few irate howls as some intrepid souls who tried for cold shower. The following morning the water was so hot that it could burn.

Fourth, the first evening at dinner, one lady asked for a second cup of tea. The waitress informed her that she was only allowed one cup!

Fifth, the toilet paper roller was on the wall opposite the throne. It was so far away that even people 6 feet tall could not reach it without standing up. One short lady fell off the seat trying to reach it.

Sixth, early the next morning about 3 am there was the makings of an Irish style donnebrook as a wedding party finally broke up. It was the usual drunken mob scene going on at full volume outside of the hotel in the parking lot right under the guests' rooms. One of the guests in my touring group, a lady about 190 centimers tall (about 6-3) yelled at them to shut up. That really did start a discussion, with various pleasantries being exchanged in soothing tones accented from all parts of the empire. (I wish I knew what some of terms meant; they would enrich my vocabulary. For example Drongo and Wombat.)

After we got used to it, it was a fun place to stay, but even better to leave!!
bob_brown is offline  
Sep 21st, 2003, 08:34 PM
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welcome to fact much of europe has similar circumstances....the plugs are almost always much different to american standards...

i trust you did not take this trip to find another u.s. standard country
rhkkmk is offline  
Sep 21st, 2003, 09:13 PM
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I can possibly help you with "Drongo and Wombat" as they come from Australia although we are now no longer a part of the British Empire which you referred to in your comment "accented from all parts of the empire."

Drongo has many connotations although the popular one is "Stupid, Idiotic, Crazy".

Wombat refers to a nocturnal Australian Mammal that lives in a burrow, has short legs, is very solid in its bodily construction and eats mainly roots. It also has a nasty habit of wandering onto country roads and laying on it. When hit by any passing car it usually destroys the car's engine as well as itself.

DavidB is offline  
Sep 21st, 2003, 10:59 PM
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Eats, roots, shoots and leaves !
just like the carpenter, who pulls out his nuts, screws and bolts. Sorry a bit rude !
Marko is offline  
Sep 22nd, 2003, 01:55 AM
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Bob, lots of laughs out loud!! Just what I needed on a Monday morning..
Sep 22nd, 2003, 01:02 PM
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Let me add that I have visited the continent 6 times recently, lived there for a year as a student, and I have toured England and Scotland extensively.
I never before saw screwy light switches like those at the "Earl". No other hotel in Ireland that we visited had such screwy arrangements, nor did the other hotels tell guests that they could have only 1 cup of tea.

The Quality Court in Cork where we stayed only 1 night was a very nice hotel located in a good place. I recommend it to anyone who is in that part of Ireland.

bob_brown is offline  

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