Is anyone else intimidated by the idea of dining in better restaurants in Spain--or elsewhere in Europe? For some reason, I am reluctant to dine solo in nice restaurants, and I end up eating in places where the food isn't as good.

I'm wondering how I can change my attitude about this. Any suggestions?

(I am planning a trip to Spain as soon as my roof repairs are paid for.)

Peg, All I can say is it does get a lot easier with practice. It is so tempting to choose an easy option or order room service. But I have to say that every single time I forced myself to get out, when I didn't really want to, I had an adventure.

Bring a prop. Reading a book is not such a good prop because it removes you from the scene and makes you unapproachable. A sketch book or journal don't so much. Write postcards. And even if you're not the kind of person who talks to strangers, pretend you are and give it a shot.

Sometimes eating in a pub or at the bar is easier than sitting alone at the table. (As my sister recently asked me, do they always have to bellow out, "solo una!"?) You will be able to chat with other solos or even the bartender. Eating on an outside patio somehow feels less awkward too.

Whatever you do, just do it. I promise it gets easier.

Hi Pegontheroad - I did a solo trip to Spain last year, and I went to many wonderful restaurants alone. It was great. I describe it a bit in my trip report where other several other woman solo travelers also chimed in about their experiences dining alone:

http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...p;tid=35009267

I've <i>only</i> traveled solo, so I've had lots of experience dining alone. Everyone is different, but for me what works best is to bring some sort of a travel diary and a book - e.g., something to jot notes in and glance at when/if I feel uncomfortable.

I usually ask for a quiet table (with my back against a wall!) where I can sit and comfortably observe my surroundings. Sometimes I even taken notes for the trip report that I'm going to write. Act as if you're an anthropologist taking field notes of local customs - it gives you a &quot;job&quot; to do and can be fun.

The more practice you get, the easier it is Good luck!

I've done this quite a bit, and my guess is it gets easier as I age. I'm in my mid 30s, and I find myself very comfortable at dining at nice restaurants now - much more than say 5 years ago.

I don't have any suggestions, but I just enjoy the food &amp; the people-watching. Sometimes it's fun when I watch others converse when I don't understand the language; I find myself watching their expressions on their faces and try to imagine what they're talking about.

I never get any &quot;bad looks&quot; from waitstaff or the host. Sometimes if the restaurant has a bar area, I opt for those and watch the staff doing their &quot;magic&quot;.

I usually bring my guidebook and I may read it; but not always. And yes, sometimes I write postcards. Other times I catch up with my travel journal. But on the whole, I just sit there, enjoy the food and the people.

Sometimes if the place is cozy with tables close together, I have a conversation with fellow diners. This has happened many times though not usually the norm.

Grasshopper is correct. Practice. I go out to really good restaurants all the time solo. I do go to dinner early because I prefer it but also it's easier to get a table as I get a better one as well as accommodating a restaurant that would prefer to sell 2-4 seats naturally which is what would happen if I were to dine later.

And I never take a book. I'd rather people watch &amp; food watch.

Pegontheroad;

I traveled last fall to Paris solo and had no problems eating alone. I did carry a book along, but amazingly there were several solo diners so I did not feel out of place and usually they would strike up a conversation. I travel for work so I am used to eating alone. I would not think of going to Paris and not enjoy a great meal. Plus it was a birthday trip I treated myself to. You will be surprised how much better you will feel than if you had eaten in your room!
clea

Just back from a 10 day solo trip in France; Bordeaux and Paris.

I disagree with the book concept. But you have to get creative with it. I brought &quot;A French Woman for All Seasons&quot; and &quot;Savior Flair&quot;. If I didn't have a book, I brough my France Guide magazine.

Covering your face with it signals unapproachable. I would just place it on the table and thumb through it. Usually the waiter or someone sitting near me would strike up a conversation because of the titles. The waiters always come back several times during the meal to converse with me. And I always got above average service.

I agree with the others that it is a matter of practice and you need to &quot;just do it&quot;. As you gather some positive experiences, you'll gain confidence.

Take one nice outfit and make a reservation ahead, to make yourself more comfortable and prepared for the night out.

Meant to say disagree with the nay sayers against bringing a book. I find them to be great conversation starters.

Although I am comfortable doing many things solo, it is still easier for me to go to a nicer place alone at lunch time than at dinner. I am getting better at it, though!

I agree about the prop of postcards, but have also brought a small guidebook or a small journal.

Eating outside at a cafe is easier for me than inside. I can be distracted by people watching.

In Madrid last trip, I ate my main meal (a late lunch) alone every day, since the friend I was visiting was working. I took my cue from an elegant woman dining alone next to me at a very nice restaurant (lunch). She just completely enjoyed herself. I did, too.

Sometimes it is a bit awkward to dine alone because of the reaction of others. Once in Rome I was seated outside at a nice table, and then a well dressed Italian woman and what seemed to be her two daughters arrived and wanted...my table. She seemed quite annoyed that 'only one' was using it.

However, I offered to share it (plenty of room and they could have their own end of it, so to speak)and we all ended up happy enough.

Enjoy your trip to Spain. Where are you going?

I usually would carry a section of the Guardian ... so if someone struck up a conversation while seeing me glance at the paper, it was usually someone with politically compatible views!

Thank you for posting your link Magellan_5! I highly recommend following the link, Pegontheroad.

Magellan_5 shares a story of watching a lady (female, but also in the elegant meaning) eating in a restaurant. I have a memory of reading about the regal diner, but had no hope of finding it again on the boards.

I've now that thread and this one bookmarked for my next trip, to remind myself of how to practice for confidence at eating alone when dining out.

scotlib - Great! So glad it was helpful.

Annabelle2:

I will be going to Spain whenever I pay off the repairs to my roof, which may be costly. It's not so much my roof as one of the eyebrows of my old house (aka the money pit), actually.

It's hard to explain, but water has seeped into an area on the side of the house and caused a leak in my downstairs bathroom. A part of the eyebrow has rotted, darnit.

I'm planning on saving the trip money prior to the actual trip, as opposed to my usual irresponsible habit of charging the whole thing and spending six months paying it off.

Suze: I like your suggestion of taking a nice outfit. I don't usually do that, as my usual manner of dressing is American frumpy. But I think I'd feel more comfortable if I look nice.

Peg, I prefer eating solo in nice restaurants where I've made a reservation. That way they know I'm a solo diner and if they have any policies or preferences against them we've gotten that out of the way from the get-go. That's the only thing that tends to worry me.

I've dined solo in Italy, France and here in the States. Sorry, last time I was in Spain I was with my Mommy and Daddy and calling them such. Long time ago.

I do bring a book and always a small notebook/pen to pretend to occupy myself although I am usually thoroughly absorbed in people-watching. I enjoy wine, aperitifs, digestifs, whatever. I am by myself and will treat myself!

Magellan's tips are good ones. And Suze's idea about the swank outfit makes sense.

Go and enjoy!

I've travelled mostly solo throughout Spain, France, Italy, Portugal, Belgium, and The Netherlands. In the vast majority of cases I've been treated very well, often better than when I'm with my SO. I've been given extra glasses of wine, apertifs, various sherries in Spain, and even a desert in Venice. I always go in with a smile and a good attitude. I don't demand the best table, and I always ask for recommendations from the waiter regarding specials, wines, etc.

I usually take a book and a small notebook. Sometimes I pull them out and at other times I don't.

As a previous poster mentioned, going early, just after a place opens for dinner is a good tip if you don't want to make a reservation. Also if you're staying in a city and you have a great meal and good service--return. I've found that when I return to a restaurant the maitre de and waiter remember me and it makes a big difference. I recently returned to Spain and when I entered a favorite restaurant in Cordoba, the waiter remembered me from 18 months ago.

In some smaller cities especially in Portugal, Spain, and Italy, it isn't that common for a woman to eat out alone. It's not unheard of but not common. However I never experienced rude or unfriendly behavior--just some curiosity.

I've also met some really nice people at restaurants when I dine solo. People tend not to chat with another couple as it feels like intruding, but people will strike up conversations with me--couples, groups, and other solo diners.

And on those occasions when I do feel a little down sitting solo and surrounded by couples and groups I remind myself how fortunate I am to be in such a wonderful place as Rome or Seville or...

Go, dine out, and have a great time in Spain. I love it in Andalucia.
Michele

Hi, Pegontheroad -

&gt;I'm wondering how I can change my attitude about this. . . . I am reluctant to dine solo in nice restaurants, and I end up eating in places where the food isn't as good.

I think you just answered your own question! Why eat food that isn't as good if you could each much better? I frequently eat at fine restaurants by myself, and I enjoy myself when doing so! I've traveled fairly extensively and always alone by choice. I certainly would not sacrifice my enjoyment by not eating where I want to! I generally make reservations ahead of time (why risk not getting a table?) and have generally been very pleased with the service. (OK, when I was in Russia it was a bit difficult because apparently at the time, the only women who would consider entering a restaurant alone were prostitutes, so restaurants were averse to seating me - but that was some time ago, and if anything, it led to some interesting stories!)

Just do it!

I've been traveling alone overseas, almost annually, since I was 17 and I'm now in my early 50s. I've been on every continent and to over 2 dozen countries. I have absolutely no problem with eating alone. I just walk right in to whatever restaurant I've chosen and sit down. If they try to give me a crappy table, then I speak up. If it can't be resolved, then I leave and eat elsewhere.
I'm not going to miss out on some great dining experiences because I'm traveling alone. I doubt if men are ever concerned about such. I know my single-traveling male friends have never been. I don't know why women worry about such stuff.
While in Singapore, a few times, people have seen me eating alone and have invited me to join them at their table. I've met some great folks overseas that way. Happy Travels!

I've never been intimidated, but for better restaurants, I always book and I go early ( 6:30 ?). As far as props, just do whatever seems most comfortable. If I'm in the middle of a good book, I might bring it along. Lately, I just haven't felt it was necessary. It does get easier, but I'm enjoyed dining by myself since I was about 12 years old.

Thanks Peg. I'm glad you liked the suggestion. I am a comfortable solo traveler in most ways, but not so much in fancier restaurants. For me it's OK because I'm not that much of a foodie and would rather spend money in other ways. But the few times I have done it, I wished I had better clothes. Since you won't likely be in the same place twice, I think one outfit is plenty. But something that makes you look and feel sharp and pulled together.

Also (I am not familiar with tipping customs in Spain) I do remember to tip a bit better, knowing the waiter could have had two people seated with double the bill, than he will get from my table as only 1 person. And I order a nice meal. To dispell the stereotype I think staff may have about single women doing the
I'll just have tap water &amp; a side salad&quot; -haha. If you drink, order a glass of wine or cocktail immediately upon being seated.