chatham

jgarvey, About ten years ago I started taking a folding walking cane with me on my travels. I'm 71. I find the cane gives me help walking on cobblestone and something to prop me up in long lines. My last trip to Ireland I took my own mattress pad. The rock hard mattresses in some places in Ireland are just too hard for me. I took a single memory- foam pad that folded up in a duffle bag. If the bed was too hard I'd make up the bed again with my pad. The duffle was light enough for me to carry. Tell your sister to take advantage of the wonderful offer her sister is making. I've had one of my sisters on a few trips with me and we have a ball talking, playing cards, and my sisters have always helped me out on these trips, scouting around to see if places are walkable for me and generally being wonderful little sisters. The same as you are! Kind Regards, Joan

Luisah

Hi J.

I hope you can convince your sister to go with you; it would be a wonderful trip for all three.

I agree with Stu about taking a cane along. I have a knee problem and bought a collapsible walking/trekking pole (REI.com) that fit in my luggage for my last trip and found it helped a lot on stairs or steep hills. There was another woman using one. She was not old but had knee surgery.

I was in Italy two years ago and spent most of time on my own but joined a group in Florence and Rome. One woman, a lot younger than I am, walked with a cane and zipped right by me every day and there was a 60 something couple using the trekking poles. There was also a woman using a walker who went everywhere, but was just slower than most.

The cane or pole would take some of the pressure off her knee and will help on the one flight of stairs she'll be doing every day. It might ease her fear of falling too.

I don't recall seeing the motorized scooters anywhere and would be surprised if museums have them. I tend to think they would want someone pushing a wheelchair.

Someone suggested books, movies, etc. of Italy and I think that's a good idea.

ellenem

I've traveled with friend who has stamina, pain, and balance problems resulting from a severe car accident. Our most recent trip was to Italy, including Rome. She always uses a cane in public, even though she could often get by without one.

As some have said, the cane offers moral as well as physical support. Perhaps more importantly, the cane is a signal to those around her that she might be physically unstable. Without the cane she has been knocked down by passersby or those people with backpacks who turn around without thinking about how mch the backpack sticks out--knocked her right over.

Allowing for brief rest periods and naptime is also crucial. And as someone said, my friend always believes she will be able to do more than she can. She'll suggest she's ready to walk all afternoon, but I'll plot a route that is circuitous but not too far afield. Then it's easy to return to the hotel when she inevitably tires.

FainaAgain

Plan to go back to the apartment for a mid-day break. Tell her, that YOU are tired and YOU need a nap. Even if she's not taking naps now, on a trip she'll need them. Maybe she'll get worn-out by the end of the day, plan slow evenings.

Also, tell her, there are millions of people in Rome, they get old, sick and fragile, but still live their lives. And so will she, for a week.

And if this is for a week, maybe she needs more medications. I always take more on vacations.

Check out all mobility help: canes, folding canes, seat canes, folding chairs - see what is better for your sister.

Carolina

Arrange for wheelchair assistance on flights, even though she doesn't normally use a wheelchair this will be a big help. It will mean that she doesn't have to stand around waiting in queues etc.
Also, I would take at least a fold up stick with you so that she can use one if she needs to do so.
Carolena

jgarvey

To Recent Posters: You are wonderful! I knew I could count on people like you, those who love to travel and encourage others to do the same. You all have given me some great ideas to pass on to her when I take up my campaign again. Now when she starts her litany of objections, I have some tried and true solutions to motivate her with.

To sum up some of your suggestions: Guided, personal tour (how 'bout a limo?) with driver, mucho taxis, short excursions, wheelchairs in big museums and definitely at airport, cane with folding seat (love that idea!), naps or rests during the day while my niece and I take in more sights, examples of others like herself or even worse off who have mustered their courage to do this--for the payoff of enlarging their lives and seeing more of the world while they still can. This one too--bonding and sharing quality time with her sister, her daughter, and her niece (my daughter who lives in Rome and speaks Italian fluently) all at the same time. This should do it, thanks to all of you! Unless she comes up with a new reason--like she might shoot her eye out! Will keep you all posted and up-to-date on this continuing saga. jg

havepassport

I have mobilty issues and went to Italy
two years ago. My suggestions: a walking stick, knee braces, anti-imflammatories, and gel shoe inserts will make life a lot easier. I also went to physical therapy first for some professional advice. They recommended all those things and suggested the particular brace. They gave me exercises to do to help and suggested how to treat myself at the end of each day. Despite 3 knee surgeries, I had a fabulous trip and was very comfortable. But I agree with the earlier advice that you need to look out for your sister and schedule breaks. I was guilty of not saying I needed a break. Remember-going down hills is harder on the knees than going up! HAve a wonderful time!

jgarvey

Havepassport, thanks for your input. All of these messages are very encouraging to me as I hope they will be to her. In fact, my opinion is that her physical issues aren't really all that bad, and maybe even more manageable than yours. I think most of it is in her head. She has never traveled outside of USA, and I think it is all mostly about apprehensions and fears of the unknown--see the ones I mentioned above. I am prepared to do anything it takes to get her there and see to her enjoyment--including her own daughter and my daughter. I will be there for a month, so devoting one week to her total pleasure and comfort so that she can experience Rome would be the greatest joy for me. I am making one last attempt with her this weekend, armed with all of your wonderful anecdotes and experiences--not to mention the long list of practial accessories and tips. I would be willing to carry her there in my arms if I could! Bless you all. jg

crefloors

I will cross my fingers and hope she says yes. A wonderful opportunity for her and I hope she doesn't pass it up. Please be sure to report back on her decision. If she says no, maybe we can do some more persuading.

annetti

What a wonderful loving sister you are! Perhaps, it has been mentioned already, but don't forget to think about jet lag if you are flying overseas> Give your sister some time to rest and get used to the time difference. Best wishes for a wonderful trip together. Lucky you to have a sister you want to travel with and be with!

5alive

joanna,
What a sweet sister you are!

My first visit to Italy, I was with my grandma, who was almost 80. It was very special. Grandma was honest about admitting when she was tired. Good thing, because my brother can walk 5 miles without blinking. So remind your daughter and niece, or just announce you're taking a break at the cafe.

You mention that your sister is religious. Are you Catholic? If so, you should know that the Church has a special parish for nearly every nationality, so that you will feel at ease in Rome. For Americans, there is Santa Susanna, run by the Paulists, with Mass in English and hymns American Catholics would know. Very nice people. It's possible they could help you find a wheelchair to rent or use for St. Peter's. It's a very big place.

http://www.santasusanna.org/ourChurch/ourChurch.html

For a private guide, we liked Dianna a lot. She is an American but really knows her stuff and is fun too. You would have to ask her if she could get a driver, as we didn't need one.http://www.rome-tours.com/index.shtml

There are also bus tours through Greenline and American Express, including a night tour my aunts took and loved. I don't have details though.

RufusTFirefly

Do have medical issues in hand if you do get her to travel. Insurance, location of doctors and hospitals covered under the insurance, emergency phone numbers, copies of prescriptions, cell phone that works in Italy and such.

tuckerdc

You don't indicate (at least in this post, I gather you've made quite a few in your planning process) just when this trip is to be.....but I hope you are planning in enough time to GET your sister her passport?? And I wish you luck in actually getting her to make the trip - it sounds like it could end up being a wonderful experience for all of you.

jgarvey

I told her it would be smart of her to secure a passport even if she isn't going to come. EVERYONE should have a passport these days, even newborns. With the world situation being what it is today, who knows what could happen and you will need a passport to get out of or back into the country? And she lives in New Orleans--think about it. She laughed at me when I mentioned this, BTW. They (she and my niece) would not be coming to Rome until Feb.24th, and my niece's passport arrived within two weeks of her application. There is still time, and she could always pay the extra to expedite it more quickly.

5Alive, thanks for telling me about your grandmother, and thanks especially for the link to the private driver. I have actually made a list of all of the reasons and practical suggestions I have received on this forum. This weekend, I plan to try one more assault and remind her about how young, independent, and spunky she used to be. I'm just afraid that if she refuses this invitation, she will never feel inclined to accept another. On the other hand, if she does accept the challenge and enjoy herself, this might give her some self-confidence and motivate her to try it again. I would really love to also get her to Ireland! Our family heritage is Italian and Irish.

I'm also fearful that her daugher (my niece) is NOT encouraging her mother because she feel that this might spoil HER visit and she will just wind up being a caretaker for her mother. My brother-in-law is no help either. He takes care of her like she is an injured sparrow on a velvet pillow, and keeps expressing his fears and anxieties to her. What I think is that she needs to get away from this for awhile and regain some of her lost spirit and the people who try to convince her that she is too fragile to even consider this trip!

We are not talking here about a woman who is laid up in some sort of invalid condition in a hospital bed. She drives, dresses herself up to the nines every day, gets her hair and nails done every week, and goes to work every day as an interior decorator at a high-end furniture store, which also involves going to customers' homes as a consultant. Give me a break!

In spite of all of my time and yours on this site, I am feeling that I am up against a brick wall and that nothing I can do or say is going to work here. I can't ask for any more suggestions or advice than all of you have already so generously given. I have played all of my cards and even borrowed most of yours. As you can tell, I am not feeling very optimistic right now.

Will keep you advised about the next installment in this saga--which has almost become a personal cause for all of you as well. Much thanks for your kindness and concern. jg

JuneAnn

I also have mobility issues like your sister. I was in Rome last year and getting around is difficult. I was able to hire a car and driver for 2 half days and that was wonderful. My husband is very helpful and we take taxi everywhere to save my strength. It's doable. Public transportation is impossible. So, if you can plan on taxis or car service she will love it. Plan on plenty of time in cafes people watching.

magmonster

I would like to share a story with you about my family trip to 7 different countries of Europe over a 14 day time period. I went with my parents neither of which are in great shape. My father has parkinson's and between he and my mother they have 6 replaced joints. (both hip and knee) We had an awesome time. Sure there were times when it was harder for them than some of the other more moblie people on our trip, but we got through it and had a blast.
I think it comes down to whether your sister wants to go, not whether she can go.

basingstoke2

When in Rome, do as the Romans. In your sister's case, a 74 year old Roman with some mobility problems who still is involved and enjoys life -there are plenty of them. From your description, she sounds like an involved vital person. As others have noted, there are plenty of accomodations that can be made.

jgarvey

Dear June, MagMonster and Basingstoke, thanks for the recent encouragement and tips. I actually did not call her today because I think I was a little reluctant to hear her final "no way." I am so uplifted and encouraged by all of your stories of success, either in being the senior traveler yourself or in being a companion to one. As I said before, I am willing to do whatever it takes and use all of the ammo that y'all have given to me to help me convince her that she can do this and will be happy if she does. I will keep reporting and let you know the final outcome. jg

chatham

jgarvey, How about copy, paste, & send the posts you want your sister to read. I've done this many times when there is something I want to be read by a friend or family member. Just the other day there was a mention of a performer in New Orleans who is a friend of my sister and I copied, pasted and sent via e-mail. I hate for your sister to miss out. Joan

5alive

Joanna -
A clarification, Dianna is a private guide, but I don't know if she has access to a private car. I would think so, but it wasn't what we needed so I didn't ask; we did a walking tour of the Colosseum and Forum.

It also occurred to me to mention that the Santa Susanna website lists the hospitals most American Expatriates go to if they need one (under "New Residents&quot.

Finally if you're interested my trip report from my second trip (unfortunately I was not a Fodor's member yet when I went with my grandma):
http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...live&fid=1

Still thinking about you. If it's meant to be I think it will happen.