jgarvey

Now that I have an apartment, my tickets to fly, and two cameras, please permit me to ask your advice again. Since I am going to be living in Rome in an apartment for one month, I am trying to talk my sister into joining me there for a week. She is not in a wheel chair, but she is 74 years old, has a knee replacement like me, and has an assortment of other joint problems that make her walking, stamina, and endurance rather limited. Otherwise, she is in fairly good health. Also, my niece (her daughter, who is also a nurse) IS going to join me for a week, and I thought this would give my sister the reassurance of someone to travel with her and assist her.

This woman has worked very hard all of her life and always has looked after others. And...she has never traveled outside of the states. She doesn't even have a passport! Now I want to do something generous and giving for her by bringing her to Rome, but she is too afraid! She thinks that she would be a burden, that she might fall, that she couldn't do the type of walking required, etc.

I have read articles on other sites that many disabled people enjoy the pleasures of travel, to whatever degree they can manage, but I have never experienced accompanying someone with these issues. I don't want to overpressure her, have her come, and then have the whole thing be a miserable failure for all of us.

So, I guess I am seeking encouragement and advice. Have any of you ever traveled with someone who had similar issues but still managed to enjoy a European city? From my one-week experience in Rome, I know that it can pose some challenges for those with limited mobility. I would appreciate any ideas that might give me some credible backup when urging my sister to take this trip. My mother passed away before I was able to get her to Ireland. Now it would give me great joy if I could take my very religious sister to Rome. Please help me if you can. Thanks. jg

Holly_uncasdewar

What a thoughtful brother you are! The first question that comes to mind, assuming she'll be staying with you, is: where is your apartment located? And is it a walkup - if so, how many flights of stairs? - or is there an elevator?

ValCanada

I sure can't give you any specific tips but I want to encourage your efforts - good for you! I wish you the best of luck.

On the other hand, your sister may not feel the same need to see Rome as you do on her behalf. I just tried to convince my girlfriend (mother of three kids) to join me in a free hotel room in Paris for a week and she doesn't want to do it - I was amazed at first but she's coming from a completely different place than I am (I have no kids) so I have to respect her wishes.

I hope your sister makes a perfectly informed choice and I love that you're helping her do that! Again, good for you.

Eloise

You will find a great deal of information at www.slowtrav.com.

This page lists the travel notes about accessibility in Rome written by a regular poster on the SlowTrav message board who is confined to a wheelchair and spends at least one month a year in Rome:

http://tinyurl.com/uag8k

janisj

assuming she has an interest in going to Rome: Be sure you know what floor your flat is on - and if there is a lift. LOTS of places are walk up. And if it says 2nd floor it is on the 3rd floor "American".

Look into getting a private guide for a day or two. That way you will have easy transport, and a tour guide for the major sites.

plan on using taxis a lot - so trips are door to door instead of having to take buses or subway.

Having a flat is great for folks that might have health/mobility issues. Some days she may just want to "veg out" and a flat gives you more space and a "real" living room instead of having to sit around a smal hotel room.

Hope she want to go . . . .

Fodorite018

I seem to find your posts without even trying, lol!

Anyway, I just want to share a story that you can pass along for encouragement. Over 35 years ago, my grandparents went on a trip around the world for 2 years. They were retired. They also had their daughter with them, who was confined to a wheelchair as she was a paraplegic. This did not deter them at all. I truly think so much of traveling is in our minds...whether we think we can or not. We are taking my mother to Paris in June, and she has never been overseas. She said she thinks it was out of her comfort zone, so maybe that is what your sister is feeling. My mom said that since we have traveled there already, that she is comfortable with us being with her. I hope some of this helps with your situation and that you all have a great time together!

Fidel

That is so sweet jg. I spent part of my last vacation with my 80-year-old friend -- pre-trip I enticed her with a beautiful book of pictures and a couple movies set in the city.

We started slowly with one small trip a day; she got inspired and of course overdid it; stayed around the apartment all the next day; and so on. We laughed like crazy, she was never a burden and I'm pretty sure she believed that.

I'm probably not a lot of help, but just encouraging you. I hope your hard worker will let you spend some money on her. P.S. Be sure to buy her trip insurance, force yourself to read the awful fine print to get a suitable policy. It's a small price and might help ease her mind.

LoveItaly

Hello jgarvey, if you go to the Search engine here, click on Italy and type in Statia (the screen name of a very fine Fodorite) you will see on the left hand of the screen where she gives information when she had her mother in Rome. Her mother had mobility problems also. Statia gives the website of a private car and driver they used so her mother could see a lot of Rome. Best regards.

jgarvey

Thanks as usual to all of the experienced and helpful travelers. To respond to a few of the contributors:

Holly, I am a "sister" not a brother, but thanks for telling me that I am thoughtful. I know this suggestion to my sister could create a little extra work and inconvenience for me, but she's worth it. And I'm more than happy to do anything I can to repay her for all that she has done for me over the years. She is 12 years older than I and has been like a second mother to me all of my life. Also, my apartment is on the Europen first floor, and I know she can handle that much. Again, she is not in a wheelchair and doesn't even use a cain. And she even still works part-time as an interior decorator!

Val, very good point and thanks for reminding me. I really don't want to put unnecessary pressure on her because this might me something "I" want her to do for my sake. Sometimes it's hard to know when we are actually just being selfish and pushing people past their comfort zones. Thanks. I need to keep revisiting this idea and listen really carefully, with respect, to all of her concerns.

Eloise, thanks for pointing out that website on SlowTrav. I have looked at it already, but the writer is in a wheelchair and that is not a factor here. However, she really does give some very helpful information that even mildly handicapped people would find useful--or those of us who accompany and assist them.

Janisi, the idea of the private driver and guide is the best! I will certainly look into that. Also, I already figured that we would be taking lots of taxis. My apartment has a very nice and beautifully furnished living room and kitchen and would be a very comfortable place for her to veg out for a day or 1/2 day if she wanted to rest while the niece and I go out. These are the kinds of solid ideas that I can tempt her with, the things that might make a real difference in her feeling brave enough to tackle this adventure.

mms--you are so right! Either I'm the neediest poster around or just have too much time on my hands--with my DH in the Caribbean and all! I myself am a pretty anxious traveler, and discovering this site has meant so much to me in preparation for my own first solo adventure. You guys (Y'all) have all been a true inspiration that I too can do this--and maybe even encourage my sister to do the same! And the story about your grandparents, your aunt(?) and now your mother to Paris?! Well, I am really psyched now! These are the kinds of stories that I want to tell my sister about, to give her encouragement and convince her that she too can do this. Also, there is my daughter, who lives in Rome and is fluent in Italian!

C'mon--the time could not be better, and all of the pieces are in place to make this the right time and the right place for her to make this choice NOW! I even called the airline to inquire about penalty if she has to cancel. The penalty is $200, and you get a one-year credit to use anywhere for domestic or international travel. If necessary, I'll pay the friggin $200 myself if that would make her feel better if she has to bow out at the last minute (another one of her concerns).

My thoughts boil down to this: If I can convince her to get a passport (which everyone should have anyway), book her on the same flight as her daughter (there are still seats available), inform her about all of the good news I have discovered on this forum, then just maybe she will find her old spunk and we can get this family show on the road!

Thanks again to all. Will keep you posted. jg

Zoe15

I have limited mobility, probably much more so than your sister, and had a great time in Rome a few years ago. I second the suggestion above to hire a private driver for a tour. I wish I could remember the name of the service I used, but the cost was reasonable and it was the highlight of my visit. Also note that the major museums have wheelchairs available if you find the need.

jgarvey

Zoe, thanks for mentioning the wheelchair availabilty, because that was a question I forgot to include. Do many of the major sites (St. Peter's, Vatican, Borghese Gallerie, other museums) have the availability for those little motorized scooters(?) that can assist the physically-challenged to get around, if they can't stand or walk for long periods? I mean, is there anything available (or for rental)for some of the more-trying exhibits in Rome, such as those motorized scooters? Thanks. I meant to inquire about that too.

Holly_uncasdewar

Sorry about that, jg. Don't know why I thought you were a guy. Let me rephrase my original post: What a thoughtful sister you are!

jgarvey

That's OK, Holly. Really not much you can tell about the initial "j". Just thanks again for being willing to help me along in this journey. Joanna

Fodorite018

jgarvey--LOL, no, not needy at all. I guess I can just relate to your posts Yes, it was my aunt. And to add to that, she stayed in Germany for almost a year and got her Masters degree in German. I am still amazed at all she did. She did much more than many able bodied people! I think you will have a ball on this trip, and having a daughter who speaks fluent Italian is a HUGE help! My mom is counting on me for getting by with the French language. She has no idea just how bad I butcher that, lol!

ira

Hi jg,

How good of you.

After 20 years of trying, I finally got my mother to go to Paris at age 88.

She loved it.

Some additional tips from my experience:

Your sister will probably not admit it when she gets tired. It will be up to you to plan for rest stops.

When walking up stairs, _you_ should stop for breaks.

Plan for pit stops hourly.

Take buses and cabs as much as possible.

Your sister might begin to wonder about how old you are getting, but do it anyway.

Enjoy your visit.

jgarvey

ira, thanks for the tips. It was inspiring to hear about your mother! Now, if I can just get her there! I'm afraid it's going to take a lot of convincing, but now I feel better armed with the advice and encouragement received here. Thanks to all. jg

FauxSteMarie

I have emailed this thread to the same person who is an expert on this subject and posts on slowtrav.com. Hopefully she will be able to assist you.

crefloors

I have traveled with my sister-in-law, who has severe arthritis in her knees and is in a lot of pain all the time. We were in London and Paris. The metro was impossible, going down stairs is agony for her. We found buses were a lot better, just a few steps to go up and down, and we also used cabs more that I would have under different circumstances. At that time my SIL would not use a wheel chair, and that certainly would have helped at some of the museums for example, where they were available. She would have been a lot less tired. As her problem has worsened, she has become more open to using a wheel chair in some cases.

My other question would be, could you leave your sister at some point, for example if she needed a nap or a rest in the afternoon, to see perhaps some additonal things on your own if you wanted to. It's just a different type of travel with someone who is not able to get around very well. I was in Paris last month, with a friend, and of course got out and about the city much more than when I was with my SIL.

Just to clarify, I do NOT regret going with her at all, I love her to death, but it was a different kind of experience. I think the big thing, as already mentioned, would be if your apartment has a lift depending on what floor you are on. I hope that whatever you sister's decision is, it makes for a happy trip for you, and perhaps BOTH of you.

nytraveler

Ordinarily I would say Rome is a walking city - but for someone with mobility problems I would sinple cab everywhere (easy to catch and inexepensive). This will let her save her energies for the places where she MUST walk.

Also - check with the various museums about wheelchair tours - even though she doesn't ordinarily use them - so her stamina isn;t taxed when unnecessary.

tower

Jgarvey:

Never had a sister...you'd be the one I would choose! Tell your sister that I'm a 77-year old world traveler and I walk with a cane that the V.A. gave me for my bad knees(so thank you!). I strongly recommend that sis gets a cane..it takes the stress and load off of her feet, knees and hips. I can walk miles as long as I use it. The most recent visit to Rome was last year and I found it to be no problem anywhere...and we're planning nearly four weeks in China and Japan this coming spring. Please show this note to sis. Suggest you have a wheel chair waiting for her at the airport, for starters,and follow Ira's practical suggestions.. Good luck and a blessing to you for your kindness and dedication!

Stu T.