Just have to get this off my chest.....

I've been watching these boards for quite a while as I've been planning a big, summer trip for my family. I want everything to be perfect, so I've been checking out this and a couple of other sites for help. I've
been reluctant to post for advice here since the site seems awfully "clubby" and I've seen an awful lot of rude attacks on posters.

From my perspective, outsiders don't seem very welcome to some of you. NOW, I'M CERTAINLY NOT TALKING TO THE MAJORITY, BUT many of you who are "regulars" seem to have this sense that you own the boards and people are privileged to get your advice. You love to show that you're a regular and you personally know many of the others here in the "clique". It's almost like high shool here. (And, it seems that many of you that fit this bill come from just a few select geographic areas/cities. And, to me, you people perpetuate that negative "city slicker" image.)

Some folks are downright rude with their pretentious attitudes and snippiness. (I guess it's awfully easy to be a big shot behind a computer screen..)
I also love the smarty pants out here (you folks know who you are) who just can't be taken in by a "troll" and so, before they say anything, have to drop some disclaimer about "....this seems suspiciously like a troll." All I can say is if you don't like it, and don't want to be "taken in by a troll", THEN DON'T ANSWER THEM! And, if there are those out there who want to give that person the benefit of the doubt, that's his or her business. Why do you feel you have to point it out to them or belittle them for answering??? I know there's one person out there now who's started posting a lot of questionable posts. If the questions seems stupid and fake to you, don't answer. Why is that so difficult?

Now, to those of you who do not fit the image I've outlined above, thank you very much! I've picked up a lot of tips and am grateful for your help. You make for enjoyable and informative reading. You do make a difference...and in more ways than one here! You folks stand out for sure. Thanks!

I just started posting here last week about our trip to Italy...and so far everyone has been very infortmative and kind,etc.
I'm sorry you see things differently...
I thought this forum was for advice, opinions,suggestions, etc.
Have a good day!

Now that we have your anger out of the way, how can we help you make that you are planning truly perfect?

Gametogo~ Let me get this right...

You've been planning a trip, but you have not posted any questions or participated in any way on this forum until now.

For your first post you give a scolding lecture to a group of people who you have never even given a chance to help you.

I'm sorry you are so scared of us you had to register just to tell us that.

There is a solution to your problem. Join Fodor's posters and become one of the regulars!

Looks trollish or worse. Ignore this pharisaical nut case. Libelous statements with some kind of a vicious second agenda. Fodors should scrub this thread and block gametogo from further postings.

OK...timeout again. I have been checking this site now for about 3 months. There are sometimes responses that seem to ridicule the poster when it is not necessary, but I have also gotten a lot of good advice.

Remember...it's just like asking questions in school or in business meetings. Some people are reluctant to ask questions because it might be a "dumb question". Likewise, some are not comfortable posting questions they think might be ridiculed. At times here I have seen people react in a negative way to what they think is a dumb question or comment. The difficulty of written words is that there is no voice inflection or body language to be observed.

IMO...there are two sides to this coin and neither one is always correct.

I agree with gametogo. Hopscotch, you just illistrated the point of the post, thank you.

The majority of posters register on this forum to ask for help in planning a trip, not to yell at a bunch of strangers.

Well, gametogo has said he/she has been watching the boards quite a while which is what I've seen people tell posters to do ("There are several posts on that subject already. Do some research.&quot

I don't think this person is a troll or I would have taken his/her advice & not responded. I also think there's more than a grain of truth in the post.

What a debut gametogo, screeching and hollering about some people here not living up to your expectations. Just curious, what do you expect to accomplish with that?

I don't feel we owe anything to a poster that on his/hers first post attacks the board in such a generic way. I have no idea what his "big summer trip" is but for sure I won't lift a finger to give any information to him/ her.

LOL!

Sorry I hit the button too soon.

LOL!

Considering the tone of the first post... it sounds like the pot calling the kettle black. (I mean he attacked on his/her first post. LOL!)

Rule ONE of message boards. Don't take it to personally, a large part of normal communication is missing and the only thing YOU can control is YOUR response.

What is wrong with you people? It's Friday night and I've had too many martinis, but...like gametogo says..there is an air of superiority here. Let people ask questions.

I've had very nice responses, but I've also seen what I would consider...attacks on some posters. And what I would like to know is...what is the "board".

It's off your chest now, gametogo. Now ask yourself this: do you think your post will make things any better (defining "better", for the purpose of this question, as "more to your liking&quot. I don't.

What have you achieved? You have started a futile argument that might become fractious.

I don't qualify as a "regular" as I have been here only a few weeks. But, unlike you, I choose to participate in discussions. I do not see this board as something that exists to serve me; I see it as a place where people collaborate to help one another: we give and we get. When I get help from this community, I am grateful but, in a very general way, I pay for it by trying to help others.

There is no reason to be afraid of anybody here. Nobody knows exactly who you are unless you choose to tell them, and nobody knows where you live. So what's the harm to you if somebody says something you don't like? Ignore it, or tackle it directly. That's far more efficacious than a generalised rant.

Now, I suggest that you post separately an outline of the trip you have in mind and invite discussion. We can be quite good at that sort of thing. If you don't do that, I will see you as a taker rather than a giver.

As to your confusion about why people bother to respond to a person they think or even know is trolling instead of just ignoring it --- probably the same reason you can't ignore all the things you're complaining about. If they bother you, why not just let them go instead of acknowledging them? I fail to see how what you're doing is any different from the things you are complaining about.

There, now no doubt that's exactly the kind of response you didn't want to hear and you will consider it rude, pompous, and snippy.

But if we're going to start talking about what really bothers us, what bothers me is people who are so afraid to say what they think, that they resort to making up a new name and registering just to be a complainer. The complaint would make more of an impact if it were coming from a person who has also helped others and asked serious questions here.

...what is the "board"...

Errr, did you know that you're on a MESSAGE BOARD right now? There are people from all over the world here, in varying mental states, with all kinds of cares and worries, and sometimes those variations and concerns come to the surface. What did you expect, everyone's white-gloved hands properly folded on the table at all times? I've seen a few boards, and I can tell you this is one of the most "regulated", so I'm warning you don't go too far way if this is upsetting.

...what is wrong with you people...let people ask questions...

People ask all kinds of questions, from sophisticated to pretty dumb. I think this forum is an invaluable resource for travelers, but if you complainers don't like it, maybe you should start one that conforms more closely to your needs -- some people have done that because they could not tolerate what they perceived as rude and pompous posters.

I totally disagree. Fodorites are kind helpful people that love to share.

Maybe the OP read some of the "Don't you just hate it..." or "Most irritating question" threads. You know the ones, where Fodorites answer with almost every question that has been asked.

I have to agree with Deb15July and Carrybean and many of these responses are to exactly what OP was referring.

No pre-attack attack will go un-attacked!

MvK