It seems to me my husband and I spend waaaayyy too much time dithering over where to have dinner every night when we're traveling. <BR> <BR>I tried to prevent this incredibly frustrating process from ruining the end of every day by compiling a list of preferred restaurants in each city before we even board the plane, complete with a map marked up with locations. <BR> <BR>Understandably, my husband decided this was far too compulsive and controlling and threw away the list. So I gave him the city pages of the guidebooks and said he had to choose where we'd have dinner from then on. That didn't work either. He was still sitting on the bed, reading the guidebooks at 9:30 at night while I munched on the wallpaper and fumed. <BR> <BR>The next day we were back at the "well, we could try this place.... well, what about that place....." dance, and I still think there has to be a better way. <BR> <BR>How do you deal with different decision-making styles, different palates, and a new city full of possibilities?

We finally dealt with this by taking turns. One day, I come up with three "candidates" and DH chooses one; the next day he proposes three and I choose. The exception is when we know ahead of time there's one or another place that Fodorites have raved about and then it's just a matter of deciding which day to dine there.

I always have lists of restaurants; we never go to them (ok one El Gato in Chioggia). Instead, starvation is the guiding factor; the first Loon to say "I'm hungry" has to find a restaurant we ALL like; it behooves her to hurry up, since she's the one who's near-comatose. Fortunately, none of us are picky eaters (hey, this group ate whole baby octopi).

We always go with a list of researched restaurants we want to visit. The criteria isn't always fine dinning. Sometimes we list a restaurant because of it's local color or history or ambience. We do not stick rigidly to the list. If we get a recommendation along the way, we will usually take it unless we have a selection that we really want to visit. Sometimes, while walking a given area, we will stumble upon a restaurant that is full of locals, has a good sounding menu and looks to have the surroundings we like to experience, we will just do it. Have had some great times doing the latter.

Hello Lumina: <BR>Another great question. I can honestly say that the dithering that my husband and I used to do over choosing a restaurant at home AND while on travel was simply exhusting! <BR>A cruise is one answer. I say that only half joking. We love land travel so that answer does not fit for the majority of travel that we enjoy. Cruising is excellent BTW. <BR>Today, my husband will look to me, even a couple of nights ago while at home. I used to get "tired" of being the planner on travel so if we have a three night or a two night stay in a city we will divide it up. My DH lets me know early in the day if he has no idea because he knows I have the "books", have done the research and have a list prepared for every destination. On a whim, he may say, that looks good, lets try it. Being blessed to have traveled lots, I just go with it. I must say that it took years to happily get to this point. <BR> <BR>Happy Travels and Dining <BR>Oaktown

I always have a list of researched restaurants but, we don't always use the list. My husband has his own method of finding good restaurants. He will ask a well dressed native where he would eat if he was looking for a fine meal. He has had some wonderful results using that method. <BR>Have fun.

My wife and I enjoy hitting local restaurants, pubs or taverns rather than "fancy" places. Our method is to hit the streets and stick our heads in the door at various places as we walk around town. Sometimes we make our choice earlier in the day and return in the evening. Other times we just find a place at dinner time. We have had excellent meals and have met a lot of very interesting people this way. We enjoy trying local favorites or specialties and find this is an excellent way to avoid "American food cooked in Europe". Don't overlook local butcher shops and bakeries where sandwich type lunches can be purchased to eat in a nearby park or sidewalk tables. Hotel staff can be very helpful in directing you to local eateries if you express a desire to try non-tourist type foods. It certainly adds to the adventure of a vacation experience.

To Al: <BR>You took a page out of our book. That's exactly what we do. Early on in our travels we went the "must know where we're going to eat in London before we leave Memphis" way. But we learned. Now we simply arrive at our destination and meld in the restaurants with the other sites to visit. Have had great meals and conversation with the locals as well as some not so great meals. But we had some not so great meals in the past when we dined at researched recommended restaurants. At least getting to peek inside a restaurant before going in takes some of the risk out of it. The hotel staff is also a great source of information as you point out. <BR>John

Lumina, <BR> <BR>This question definately made me laugh because I completely understand the aggrevation. I usually print out all suggestions from Fodors.com posters and follow that. (Although, the boyfriend I am sure gets sick of hearing "this person from fodors.com said..."). If it is also listed in my travel book of choice, it is worth at least walking by. However, the idea that seems to work best is to ask the inn/B&B owner what they suggest.

I do most of the planning for our trips and usually have a list of resturants for each city.Each dutifully marked on a map.A recommendation by a local or an interesting discovery while site-seeing can always bump someplace off the list.

Dear Lumina - I think your husband is the controlling one. Compiling a list of restaurants to choose from is hardly controlling on your part. And throwing away your list is insulting to your research and you. I have two suggestions: Take Cass's advice and take turns choosing restaurants or decide where you want to dine and go alone. Tell him where you are going to have dinner and invite him and if he doesn't want to come, go without him. Everyone else's comments are very constructive but they assume that there is a give and take relationship between them. I don't see that give and take in your relationship, therefore most of the comments above are of no help to you. You must believe you are not controlling and compulsive by doing research to make sure you both see the highlights of your trip or especially what is of interest to you both. <BR> <BR>How do other Fodorites feel? Am I off base?

Whats a Fodorite?

Pat, I think you may have hit the nail on the head. I would have been very upset if my husband threw out my research. It is also unreasonable to decide so late at night where to eat if both are hungry. Please note that I do not think it is unreasonable to have a late meal, I enjoy that, but if both are hungry some flexibility is called for. Also, having the choice made, even if it was only that afternoon, gives you something to look forward to. I think you gave good advice. Sometimes a plan of action for resistance will eliminate the resistance. Some good suggestions have been given here. <BR> <BR>aargh. Do I sound preachy? Sorry. <BR> <BR>linda

Pat and Linda have some good points. And, almost every traveled poster here recommends that you make a reservation for dinner in a city like Paris. To sit in your hotel and dither at 9 pm over where to eat is cruel and doesn't make sense. Who is controlling who? This is supposed to be a vacation - a relaxing, wonderful time. For myself, I'd rather travel alone than with someone who holds me hostage with his/her indecision.

topper