nonconformist2

Brightwater is another possible one for you - they specialise in gardens, but have some of wider interest: Destinations (brightwaterholidays.com)

NeoPatrick

As a major traveler, often traveling 5 to 6 months at a time and ALL independently, in 2010 I traveled to Asia all by myself for three months. I did it all independently, but was having a hard time planning Viet Nam, so I very reluctantly signed up for an OAT trip to Viet Nam. It was 14 people for 14 days, a fantastic guide, mostly by bus but a couple of flights thrown in. Hotels were just as you described -- sometimes bordering on luxury but mostly 3 star or so, and nothing dreary or "budget". It ended up being the highlight of the entire trip. As to Europe, I'm not sure what they offer although I seriously looked at a Turkey tour they do including a few nights on a small boat.

Our trip focused on Local color, and included visits to an orphanage, a tiny remote town in the hills, a home visit with a college professor and his family in which we shared cooking the meal, also things like a cooking class. I can't recommend them enough.

https://www.oattravel.com

phillyboy

Thanks so much for all of your helpful suggestions. I have checked all of the recommended group travel sites, and several of them are of interest – one place we have never visited is Greece, and a few of these operators have interesting offerings for tours there. Odysseys Unlimited and OAT have some intriguing possibilities for Greece. The river cruise is also still of interest. Still looking through all of these different travel sites.

For those recommending travel insurance and concierge-type services, thank you. We have always purchased basic travel insurance to cover contingencies such as lost hotel deposits and emergency flights home, but little else. Some are also pointing out that groups don’t wait for a person who becomes ill – they move on, and we understand that. My wife’s discomfort arises from her inexperience in handling traveling arrangements on her own. I traveled for business for 30+ years, and have always handled all the arrangements for our recreational trips. She becomes extremely nervous in unfamiliar surroundings, and having to negotiate a gigantic international airport, without me or another trusted person leading the way, would be a significant obstacle for her – one that would make her very nervous throughout a trip if she feared that I would be unable to lead the way. If we were part of one of these groups, we would certainly be able to get assistance from the operator for things like contacting a doctor or hospital, assistance booking an earlier flight home, and so forth. The group idea is not a perfect answer for all potential unpleasant surprises, but if it makes her comfortable, that's what I'm after. There’s nothing to gain by me trying to sell her on an independent trip for just the 2 of us at this point – it just ain’t happening. So for the purpose of this discussion, I’m focusing on the group-travel idea.

Thanks again to all, and if there are other recommendations out there, keep’em coming.

thursdaysd

I have a diametrically opposite view of OAT. For my second trip to Asia I went to Thailand with OAT, after which I swore I would never use them again. The guide was mediocre, the food was dumbed down for westerners, we were taken on a "village" visit in Laos (I despise human zoos) and an elephant "experience" (the animals were exploited) and finally it turned out that several of us had paid for business class flights for which we were only on standby.

It sounds like the OP's wife would benefit from a gentle introduction to doing things herself. Help her book a hotel, then air tickets. Have her lead the way through a smaller airport. Is she just going to quit traveling if she finds herself alone? And do not leave home again without medical and evacuation insurance.

Heimdall

I agree with dreamon in reply #13. You seem to already be well travelled in Europe, so why not go back to a place you love and stay there the whole time? It should have good access to medical facilities, and enough to do to keep you occupied. Immerse yourself in local activities and you will make friends who can help when you need something. I’ve done my share of touring, both independently and group travel, but now in my 70s prefer to stay in one place.

NeoPatrick

I'm amazed and intrigued by the comment regarding OAT "the food was dumbed down for westerners,". Virtually the only negative comments I heard on my Viet Nam OAT adventure was from a couple of people who disliked the "authenticity of the foods". One of my favorites was a local Pho open air restaurant, where we sat surrounded by local people at oil cloth communal tables with huge bowls of basil and other condiments to add to the amazing big bowls of the best PHO imaginable. Some would have preferred a more "elegant" place -- preferably with air conditioning, and two couples chose on our only night where we were on our own for dinner to go to an "American Club" where for the next three days they raved about their steak, baked potatoes, and Caesar salads". Our guide was wonderful, 11 years later we're still friends on Facebook. And everything they did was to give us a true "local" non-touristy view of Viet Nam.

Sassafrass

Do you have a special interest (architecture, history, food) or hobby that might have travel groups which you could join? A friend who is a poet has been to Greece and other countries on writing retreats with a writing group. The towns and places they stay are fantastic.

There are tons of group tours to France (and other countries) run by art groups. I met several people on painting trips in Aix en Provence. I know one wonderful painter who takes a group to Provence every year. Check out art websites.

Museums, universities and churches often put tours together. College alumni groups do this all the time and often accept others. That would be my first place to look.

If you have Next Door Neighbors or some similar online organization, I bet you could put together your own little travel group. Have meetings to get to know each other and let a travel agent help plan, then book the trip. Staying in one place is great - take day trips and local tours. Also, focusing on an event, festival or theme might appeal to friends or family and get them to join you.

Another thing that might work for you is booking a great hotel that can do everything for you. It does not have to be a grand or expensive place, just one with personal service. We did that in Cappadocia. They took care of everything from airport pick up to taxis and tours and late night food when we arrived. One of the top travel experiences of my life.

Emotional comfort is different for each of us and your concern for your wife is commendable. I am normally very independent, but illness makes me anxious and then I want the security of a familiar place.
Hope you find the perfect solutions.

rncheryl

Don't know if you belong to a college alumni group, but our first trip to Italy was with such a club. Several afternoons for your own sightseeing, with all the amenities of a group; ie luggage handling, transfer from airport, several meals.

annhig

<<bilboburglar - Thanks very much. A river cruise may be in the mix, my understanding is that people who have experienced seasickness on ocean cruises generally do not have problems on river cruises - is that correct?>>

phillyboy, I can speak as someone who has suffered from mal de mer on dry land and i can categorically say that I suffered no ill effects whatever on the one week river cruise I did on the Rhone.

​​​​​​​That said I found it a rather frustrating experience as our time off the boat on sight seeing trips was very regimented and only on one occasion in the whole week did it permit our eating in the town/city we had been visiting. The food on board was pretty good but it was not what I wanted when I had just been taken on a tour of Lyon or Beaune, and had the excellent restaurants there pointed out to me, only to discover that there was no time to eat at any of them. So if sampling the local cuisine is important to you, such a trip may not be for you.

Iwan2go

Wow, some of these are great references! Thanks everyone. I can see us, as you say, reluctantly moving from independent to guided slow travel, and I feel better already.

bilboburgler

Our Rhine cruise "day" was boat departed at 6:30am so we could breakfast with moving views, arriving at next port by 12, this allowed us the rest of the day to tour around, that included lunch and supper ashore if we wanted. We tended to hire bicycles and ride off to wine festivals along the excellent Rhine cycle paths returning much the worse for wear for a light supper, but others did other things.

annhig

Interesting. That would have suited me much better but I was a late addition to the party on that particular cruise as I was taking the place of my friend's husband whose dementia had progressed too far for him to take part so I had no input into the choice of cruise or the firm running it. I can see that the disadvantages of the routine on the boat I was on may simply have been the way that tour was set up by the company in question [Riviera Travel] and that other routes/companies may be different. It would certainly be something I would look out for if I were considering going on anther one.

geetika

My siblings and I did several cruises with our mother as she grew older and found it hard to do land tours. She loved that the ship took her from place to place and she could stay in the same stateroom. She also enjoyed dressing up for dinner and watching some of the shows onboard, we went along as travel was her passion and she’d have been miserable if she couldn’t see new places anymore.

That said we were always on our own in the ports, visiting sites, museums, etc and lunching at local restaurants. Back on the ship by 5, except for ports where we had an overnight or late sailing. Not quite my ideal, but we did it for mom, and enjoyed the family vacations.

annhig

That's lovely geetika. I wish that we'd got into that habit with my mum but she was never interested and she's too frail to think about it now.

geetika

annhig, our last cruise was to Alaska in 2019, mom’s third trip there. She was thrilled to be vacationing with her kids and grandkids, we also did a pre-cruise 10 day land tour first. It was kind of a last hurrah, as mom passed away peacefully a couple of days after getting back home. Lots of happy memories…

AJPeabody

It seems the problem with tour groups is that they don't stay in one place long enough. Before the covid times, there were city centered packages with optional air that set up a hotel and perhaps an orientation bus ride that left you in a city for 3-5 days with a concierge who could arrange things and help if needed. I wonder if such packages exist now. Could one arrange sequential packages with intercity transport, making your own multicity tour with adequate time in each city plus the desired support? You would have arrangements made and someone to watch your back.

Ian

Our neighbours - who are a little older than us - have literally traveled the world. Most of it was with ElderTreks - a smaller Canadian tour company. But they also do short stays.

progol

The company, Untours, might provide a good transition - it really maintains much of the independent travel but provides support as well as accommodation. It means staying longer in one place to really get a feel for a place, but it does sound like it would ease your wife’s concerns, since there would be support for anything that might come up.
https://www.untours.com

Another thought I had was to work through an agency who would provide a private driver. This may not work well in Europe, but if you’re traveling elsewhere, it is invaluable. We traveled twice in India, working with a local agent who provided a driver, and we spoke throughout the day with the agent. I felt secure that we had someone who would know what to do and where to go if we had a problem. I also did this in Morocco and it worked out well for us. It might be worth finding out if something like this does exist in any European country, though I’m not familiar with any agencies that provide this kind of service.

lissie45

I joined the forum to reply to your thread. My partner collapsed, very ill while we were travelling independently in China a few years ago. The strangers on the bus used their phones to find us translation help and diverted the whole bus to a local medical outpost. We spoke no Chinese, they spoke no English - no words were needed. In Europe they speak a lot of English. The emergency thing would take care of itself.

Once he was in hospital and I had time to breath I say there cancelling reservations and contacting people including the insurance company. At some point he said it was glad that he was the one that collapsed not me as I do all the the travel planning and would know what to do!

So I made some changes. I've always been indifferent about having a phone with me when travelling. This trip proved its worth. I was using a local SIM though which had issues - and our next major trip I'll use a mobile wifi so that we can keep our home sims and have cheap data access. The stupid insurance company wanted me to make collect calls to them. Collect calls from cell phones aren't a thing in China (I suspect they are not a thing anywhere) - you need a cheap way to spend hours on the phone

In the darkest time I had my brother holding last-minute mega expensive tickets to come to China to help me. It helps to have someone who can fly at the drop of a hat, have got a clue, and who have the resources to pay for that ticket up front. And to be able to call them any time of the day or night - I think it was initially 4am his time when I called him. He was far more useful than the insurance company - who spent over 48 hours deciding whether or not they would pay for medical evac (they wouldn't make a decision until they could speak to Paul's family dr on Monday morning).

On a practical level, at the first hospital I slept at the hospital (normal in China) - we were then air vaced to Beijing and had to find my own hotel (the insurer hadn't realise I would need one!). I did at that point totally lose it - my brother booked the hotel Having someone in country is completely unnecessary in those circumstances - you just need someone who knows which hotel to book and how to do it and has a CC to use that won't max out. Again no travel company will do this for you - but a sensible relative/friend can regardless of where they are in the world. If you have such a person have the discussion with them before hand ( I of course hadn't but have now).

I use tripit to manage all bookings - you can add others onto the itinerary so they have the details, the booking codes etc

I now have a complete list of his medications and what each one is for and how important it is . No more guessing and trying to work out which pill is for what. I also have a copy of his last specialists report for any medical person who needs it.

I would say in China it was game changer to move up from 3 star local hotels to 5 star American owned hotels - suddenly I could communicate in English - to the point that the concierge helped me get a recharge for my SIM Card! If you want help from accommodation - don't book airbnbs stick with hotels and similar who actually have professional multilingual staff.

I now delegate parts of the planning to him. I do lots of the research - I enjoy it - but I make darn sure that he knows how to use uber/grab to get around, knows where we're going and what if anything I've pre-booked. Large airports always have concierges - look for them and ask them for assistance if lost. We are doing a few days in Honolulu next year - he wants to see Arizona - well I'm the one that figured out this needs booking - but he's the one that will be doing the actual booking - haven't told him yet!

thursdaysd

Glad things worked out for you! I found the Chinese super helpful too, although I didn't have any emergencies.

Let me recommend T-Mobile for your phone company - I have unlimited low-speed data plus cheap calls in over 100 countries, and free calls and data in the US. (With a senior discount, if you qualify.) It's also a good idea to ask your bank/CC companies for non-1-800 numbers when traveling.