wliwl

I got a call today from a good friend of mine. Normally they go on cruises and Carribean resort-type trips. Once they went on a bus tour in Sicily. She wants to go to either Paris or Rome in July for just a week (with 2 teenage boys) and wants help planning.

We travel, well, differently than them. We're more likely to make all our own plans, rent an apartment to be frugal, and research a trip to death.

Am I crazy to get involved in this???

starrsville

In a word, YES!

nessundorma

Only if you don't enjoy helping other people plan their trips.

I like to find out what people really want to do, and then help them do that -- rather than have them re-take my trips.

If I had a friend who went to resorts and on coach trips, and wanted to do it again, I'd be candid and say I don't know anything about such trips.

But maybe she asked you for help because she thinks maybe you have more fun than she does and wants to be more adventurous?

If nothing else, send her over to Fodor's! We'll take care of her. ;-)

Underhill

I have a great time helping friends with trips to places I know about. Not everyone loves to research hotels and plan itineraries, but it's my hobby.

So far the friends I've helped have enjoyed their trips, but I think I might have had the most fun.

Carrybean

Just be careful how you word things. If they don't like it, it'll all be YOUR fault. I had a sister-in-law who insisted she wanted to go to Jamaica. I told her she wouldn't like it, that where she wanted to stay had guards on the beach, etc. etc. etc.

She went anyway, got back & acted like I forced her into it & blamed me for her rotten trip.

kenderina

I have a friend who asked me for help..I've helped him, but to some extent. I mean, I give him clues on where to search, some tips..but I prefer not to take the responsability of the trip, as I told him "I don't have customer's service"

suze

It really depends on the friend and their attitude and personality imo.

Sure, I'd help a friend plan a trip, not the entire thing but filling in with some ideas and gathering some specifics on the internet.

For next month a girlfriend is staying in Paris at a hotel recommended on various Fodors threads, a suggestion I passed on to her that fits her budget and location needs. And I've got her a list of possible hotels around Geneva for the end of her trip.

I asked very specifically for her price range and any requirements she had.

janisj

Only you know what your relationship is like and what they will feel comfortable w/.

I have planned probably 25+ trips - either in part or 100% - for others. Had one semi-bad experience but nothing that we couldn't got over. Every other time the folks were happy (some were totally over the moon elated)

But I decide ahead of time if the friends/co-workers are the sort that I can work w/. If not, I find a way to guide them in another direction w/o having to say anything like &quot;<i>Not in your dreams - I wouldn't touch this w/ a barge pole!</i>&quot;

amaclise

I think she's asking you because she knows your expertise. Don't assume the worst (as people sometimes do on this board).

Take it as a nice compliment!

L84SKY

I don't mind lending a hand if I know we enjoy the same things. One of my favorite friends just isn't into the internet. I've done research for her. Since she was the person who first convinced me to go abroad and acted as my European guide twice, I love returning the favor.

myvenezia

I love planning trips, so I would help a friend with theirs.
I would loan them guidebooks and maps if they were going to Italy ..

ira

Hi wl,

&gt;...She wants to go to either Paris or Rome in July ....&lt;

Well that gives you 2-3 weeks to plan her trip for her.

Do you also make the hotel reservations, airline tickets, transfers, etc?

This is what TAs do.

If all she wants is advice, tell her to register here.

wliwl

Thanks everybody! I think overall it sounds like people have had pretty good experiences helping out.

Ira: I know it is very last minute. Not only that, but she's trying to use FF miles! So I won't actually be making any reservations for her. In fact, she may find the hotel situation just impossible. We'll see.

HowardR

I don't think you have to be too concerned about helping her plan a trip for this year, since I don't think her chances are too great for using FF miles for a trip to either Paris or Rome in a month.

Intrepid1

I'm gpoing to disagree with Howard and assume that whether or not she can use FF miles she will decide to go anyway...and who knows how much YOU and your attitude might actually impact on THAT decision, should it have to be made?

I agree with some of the others that it

can get complicated
can depend on your overall relationship status
can depend on your personality and outlook as well as the other person's and also

can be very rewarding for both
can be totally frustrating for both
can depend on how things are worded (kinda like here)

If you are NOT interested in doing this then don't do the relationship you have now a disservice by pretending you are.

If you end up opting out and the other person gets manipulative by trying to send you on a guilt trip then you know what to do

If you DO decide to help allow the other person to maintain control and only supply suggestions. if you travel as &quot;differently' as you think you do then making some suggestions (which are favorable to the other party) may be more difficult than you think.

Good luck.

HowardR

Intrepid1, you miss my point. I have no strong opinion on whether or not she should help her friend.
I'm responding to the single point that the friend is thinking of using FF miles for a trip that's only a month away. Before the OP wastes her time, I would have her friend check on FF ticket availabililty. And, if there are no seats available, then ask her friend if she's still interested in going!

ilovetotravel29

I would suggest treading the waters lightly.

Ask her specifically what she DOES NOT want, that way you won't do or plan something she will detest.

The more insight and questions you ask, the better your help will be.

wliwl

UPDATE:

Now they are going in Septmeber to Rome with no kids.

Still pending flight plans...

I'll keep you all posted!

Intrepid1

HowardR...and you apparently missed mine...and that is that I disagreed that the OP shouldn't &quot;be too concerned about helping her&quot; assuming, as you apparently did, that there is little, if any chance of this trip coming together because of the FF miles non-availability.

Apparently the trip IS coming off, just as I suspected it would, and the availability/non-availability of FF tickets played little, if any, part in the decision.

amaclise

This post is getting a bit scary.

You all help complete strangers with their most detailed travel questions every day right here on Fodor's but a friend asks for help and everyone goes totally negative? And don't tell me it's because there's no downside here. That doesn't explain it all. You either like giving travel advice or you don't. This is her &quot;good friend&quot; we're talking about!

Most strange.