clemson91

Was all set to book family trip to London/Paris for spring break 2011 (late March/early April), but now wife doesn't think she can go due to work (I'm quite disappointed as I had all details worked out for the family trip).

Now my wife has suggested that I take 4-5 days and go to Paris on my own (I think mainly because she feels bad about scrubbing the spring break trip).

I've been to Paris twice before (for a week in 2007 with wife, for 8 days in Novermber 2008 with wife/child).

I love Paris, but I'm a little uneasy about going on my own. Not scared to travel on my own, but this would be way out of my comfort zone.

I need a little pushing to help me decide if the solo trip is worth it (I was thinking mid-February 2011).

Please help with pros/cons of making this trip on my own. Any comments are appreciated.

CaliNurse

FOr what it is worth--my recommendation is "wait until your wife can go with you"

janisj

No cons that I can see -- other than IF you take the trip it would use up the family travel budget.

What do you feel uneasy about? Any specific questions/concerns? I travel by myself all the time and while it is great to share an adventure w/ a loved one -- going solo can even be better in some ways.

OR -- if you want to save Paris for a time when your wife can join you, are there any other places you've wanted to visit?

Christina

well, if you don't want to go, don't go. It isn't cheap, and I don't know your situation, but it uses up vacation time, I presume.

It sounds like your wife wants you to go because she thinks this will be a treat for you. You obviously don't. Why spend time on money on something you really don't want to do, unless you have unlimited amounts of either so no harm in trying it out.

Are you uneasy about how she wants to get rid of you so much?

seafox

Hmm, well certainly Paris is an easy city for someone travelling alone. I don't believe it to be unusual at all. But, being by yourdself does take the fun out of experiences that could be shared. One thing to ease the lonliness is to hire a guide for the day (Miachael Osman who is mentioned in this forum is very reasonable and does customized touring) Learn things of interest to you and your wife from him and then the next time you go, be the guide for your family. Another alternative, skip Paris and go someplace yourself just for a weekend (maybe your wife could join you)... by the time you travel to and from Paris your trip is really just a weekend anyway. do you live on the US East Coast - a quick easy weekend trip (that feels a bit like Paris) is Montreal.

ParisAmsterdam

By all means go! You can see and do things your wife might not enjoy if she was along...

- my wife hates heights... if I was by myself I'd go to the top of the ET... haven't been to the top since 1986 although I coaxed her to the first level last year.

- my wife doesn't drink... I'd use the opportunity to visit some wine bars and an O Chateau tasting or 2.

- my wife has no interest in either World War although I have dragged her around sites in Normandy... if you have an interest take a trip to Verdun or the Somme or Normandy. Many women ARE interested in this stuff but in my experience most aren't...

Two years ago I went to Greece with a couple of friends... I'd been wanting to go back since I was first there over 35 years ago but my wife had no interest at all in going. We had a great time and I think my wife was relieved I'd been able to go and she didn't have to come along and scramble over old ruins for 2 weeks!

So go. The only thing I'd recommend is make it more than 4 days. If you're spending the money on the airfare it costs the same whether you're there for 4 days or 7 or 10...

Rob

gruezi

Dear Clemson,

What about your child? Could they go? What a great experience that might be depending on their age/interests.

I will go to Paris alone for 10 days in a few weeks and am not worried at all but I frequently travel alone and also spend a lot of time alone.

If you and your wife are great travel partners (my husband and I are not often on the same travel track) then perhaps you should wait until she is available.

As much as I love traveling alone, my husband likes to have me with him unless it's a golf trip... and even then he likes to see me for dinner.

clemson91

My real concerns stem from the fact that I've not really ever traveled by myself, someone has always been around.

It's always nice to share the experience of traveling with someone, but I might like the experience of traveling for a short time by myself (I have traveled in the U.S. for business (not often) but never for pleasure).

Not concerned about why my wife is suggesting this (i think that she feels bad about the spring break trip). She indicated that it might be good because traveling like this would be "outside of my comfort zone" and an "opportunity to grow" and do something different.

This trip would not use up the entire family travel budget, but would use some vacation days (have 33 for next year). Somehow I always find myself struggling to use up vacation time at the end of the year.

Gruezi...my daughter is 6. She's been to Paris once before and loved it. I'm sure she'd love to go back, but i have some reservations about traveling out of the U.S. with her by myself.

Christina...It's not that I don't want to go, just have never considered taking a trip like this by myself. Maybe it would be good to get away for a couple of days without anyone else there, just not my normal thought process as I have a wife/child.

wug

If it interests you, definitely go! Set up Skype before you leave so that you can video talk to your wife each day and talk about what you did, what she's doing. I have quite a bit of work overseas and every time I can I try to add a few days to the trip so I can enjoy the location on my own. My husband tries to join me on one trip a year but he can't be there for all the trips. He's always encouraging me to add a few days so I can do what I'd want to do after my work is done.

My husband and I travel very well together and have the same interests. Having Skype so that we can see each other when we talk really helps. Think of some things you'd want to do and enjoy! Even take a side trip to the Loire Valley, Normandy, etc for a day.

Paris is so easy to get around, going it on your own is no big deal, especially since you've been there before.

janisj

"<i> . . . . but i have some reservations about traveling out of the U.S. with her by myself.</i>"

I'm sorry -- but this sentence simply doesn't compute w/ me. Why would taking your daughter be 'difficult'? Could your wife manage a trip alone w/ your daughter?

Your wife might have a point >><i>She indicated that it might be good because traveling like this would be "outside of my comfort zone" and an "opportunity to grow</i><<

clemson91

janisj, my reservations are as follows:

Certainly I could take care of my daughter for a week, as I do it when her mother travels. My daughter is especially attached to her mother so that may pose some issues, but things do come up when you travel so having her mom around is a plus. In addition, as I understand it, you must have notorized documents from the parent staying at home in order to be able to exit the U.S./enter France (I understand why, as it is a precaution against parental kidnapping) and I'm not sure I want to deal with the extra scrutiny.

Not sure what you meant (almost sounds like a dig) by your last statement:

Your wife might have a point >>She indicated that it might be good because traveling like this would be "outside of my comfort zone" and an "opportunity to grow<<

djkbooks

It doesn't sound like you want to go. Though, I'm surprised you wouldn't positively jump at the opportunity to take your daughter to Paris for a week and spend that time with her. There's really no "extra scrutiny". You just present a document if it's requested.

Maybe you have a really smart and sensitive wife who, indeed, thinks it would be a great experience for you to do some independent travel, and she would be correct.

Traveling solo, with no one by your side or to talk to all the time, gives you the opportunity to notice/observe many things you wouldn't otherwise, and it's a great time to reflect.

A week goes by very quickly.

But, if you have to be talked into it or otherwise convinced to go, there's probably no point spending your money or your time.

Sue878

<<I need a little pushing to help me decide if the solo trip is worth it (I was thinking mid-February 2011)>>

If you can get out of your comfort zone, I would go for certain. It sure is worth it!!!!

Pegontheroad

I love to travel with my sister, who's my favorite travel companion on the planet. However, since her feet are bad, and she doesn't travel any more, I'm forced to do it on my own.

I've discovered that I thoroughly enjoy going on my own. I can walk more than I would if she were with me. I spend much less time in museum visits than I would with her.

She is never hungry at dinnertime, so we seldom have dinner in a restaurant. When I'm alone, I do eat whenever and wherever I want.

I can go exactly where I want to go without having to take anyone else's likes and dislikes into accounting.

Sometimes I think about asking someone else to travel with me, but I always come back to the idea that when I travel alone, I can do what I want when I want.

If I had my druthers, I'd still rather travel with her because she's so much fun, but I've discovered that traveling alone has its benefits, too.

kerouac

A solo trip of discovery is totally worth it -- no wasting time at places that don't interest you or schedule to keep because it was plotted out by more than one person.

And as ParisAmsterdam very wisely points out, it gives a chance to pursue diverging interests (including some that you might never want to admit -- and I'm not necessarily talking about sex shops or things like that!).

More important, since you say you have never traveled solo (like my brother!), I think it is important to discover how it feels. You might love it or hate it, but you'll never know unless you try. (However, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to already know that when you have a 'perfect moment' alone, you always regret that you were not able to share it.)

Seamus

How great that your wife would suggest this. If he trip does not preclude future travel that you might share, my vote is go, Go, <b>GO</b> but that's based on what I would do.
Traveling solo <u>is</u> different and you do not have the ability to share the experiences as they happen. Thanks to modern technology you can stay in touch easily - email, phone calls, skype video, etc. You also do not have to do things of little interest to you just because a companion wants to, nor not do things because the companion does not want to do them. You set your own schedule, do not have to wait for someone to get ready to go.
First time traveling solo can be intimidating. My first time solo was unplanned, a couple days alone in Paris when my companion who was to meet me there was delayed. I did just fine; Paris really is a pretty easy place to visit and enjoy. After that experience I have ventured to several international destinations solo and loved it.

janisj

You said: >><i>She indicated that it might be good because traveling like this would be "outside of my comfort zone" and an "opportunity to grow"</i><<

I said: she might have a point.

That's all. She knows you, we don't. She <i>might</i> have a point . . . .

cigalechanta

I went by myself one trip and my late husband didn't like flea markets, which I do (though he loved the outdoor food markets.) I had a wonderful time with no agenda to keep anyone entertained, visited as many museums as I wanted, slept late if I wanted.

daveesl

Clemson, 2 years ago, at the age of 22, I surprised my daughter by sending her off on her own to Paris in early February. She had previously traveled by herself to Japan, but stayed with friends of ours. She has been on several trips with me to the UK and Italy, but this was her first real "Get out of Dodge" trip. I bought the plane ticket and paid for the hostel and a few hundred spending money. She had to do the rest. She absolutely loved it, because for all intents and purposes, she did it on her own. She set up her daily itinerary, set her budget and had a blast. I created a monster.

A couple of months ago I get this email from her. She was working in New York City in Times Square and the email said "Don't worry about the bomb scare, I'm in Copenhagen on my way to Sweden". 1) I knew nothing about a bomb scare, 2) I had no idea she had gone to Europe, by herself again. I later learned she got this really low airfare ($400 open-jaw, into Copenhagen, out of Stockholm) and decided "What the heck, I'm going to Scandinavia for 5 days."

GO FOR IT

dave

Nikki

The past two years I have gone to Paris by myself for two weeks each time. I think of it as running away from home. I do all the things that nobody else wants to do with me. No worries about spending my time any way other than exactly the way I want. I find it heavenly.

Your mileage may vary.