Getting ready for my first trip to Amsterdam and environs, and I have a cultural question. If a gentleman invites me for a coffee, or a meal, is it the norm for him to expect me to pay? I always do the polite "take out my wallet" thing at home and in other countries, and 99% of the time the man offers to pay. But what about this concept of Dutch Treat, is it common? Don't want to get started on a war of the sexes, this is simply a cultural question : )

I am Dutch. I don't know if I qualify as a "gentleman" (too young maybe?), but if I invite somebody for lunch, dinner or whatever, I will always pay. The Dutch treat (everyone pays for his/her share) is only common with groups of students, or perhaps groups of colleagues going out after work.

Sjoerd, you certainly sound like a gentleman to me : )

This reminds me of the question re Swiss language. The term "Dutch treat" probably has as much to do with life in Netherlands today as notion that moon is made of Swiss cheese.

I believe it's the norm in most Western cultures for the person who invites another for coffee or a meal to pay. That's very reasonable. Few women, however, invite men out for coffee or dinner which is why it is normally men who end up paying. <BR>

Dear Trollalert,<BR>Might I suggest you try taking a less cynical view of the world? Mine was a sincere question about terminology I have always heard and its relationship to the country and its culture that I will soon be visiting for the first time. Sjoerd certainly didn't take offense and provided an honest answer. Oh that's right, HE'S a gentleman : )

I'm Newfashioned. I like it when a modern woman demonstrates initiative and her desire for equality in all matters in today's world by inviting me out for dinner or coffee and paying.

Dear New,<BR>Absolutely, I enjoy turning the tables and being the inviter rather than the invitee. However, being a single traveller in a foreign country, it's more likely (in my experience anyway) that someone from the host country will be doing the inviting.