My parents (mid-70s) have always dreamed of going to Italy and we've FINALLY convinced them to take the leap by promising to accompany them and help them get around. This is a trip of a lifetime for them, and we want to make it as low-stress and wonderful as possible.

My dad wants to explore Tuscany. My mom would like to see the colosseum and the Spanish Steps. Mostly, though, they both just want to chill out and experience la dolce vita. Planning a trip like this for ourselves would be easy-peasy, but figuring out how to adjust it for my folks' needs/preferences is much harder. Here are the challenges we're facing. We hope you can help us brainstorm:

1) My mom has some health issues that mess with her balance a little and make it hard for her to walk long distances. She absolutely refuses to use a cane/walker/poles, etc. so we need to minimize the amount of time we are on hills, cobblestones, etc.
2) My parents can't go anywhere without packing a big suitcase and they insist on AC and elevators in their hotels.
3) None of us are willing to drive overseas and my mom really hates buses.

This is a very different way of traveling from what my husband and I would normally do, but this trip is all about them, so we want to do it their way. Does anyone have any advice for keeping them comfortable and happy? (also: what do folks do about laundry if they don't wash in sinks and laundromats like my husband and I do???) We want to take a 10-14 day trip in May 2025, so hopefully, we can get the ball rolling soon!

Thank you all in advance!

It sounds like a wonderful opportunity to spend time together. What would your mum describe as a long distance on the flat? Have you been to these regions before and did anywhere strike you as being a good option to return to? If you have a short list of places, I'm sure people on this forum would give their opinion. A few things spring to mind...

Public transport will be fine but having a handle on the logistics will make it physically easier and less stressful. Know the route options, timetables, ticket options and purchasing, station layout, etc, before you travel. If not already familiar with it, check out seat61.com. You can nearly always take a taxi from the station to your hotel if necessary.

I would avoid moving hotels too often (perhaps 2 or 3 places) and consider staying in mid-sized towns such as Siena and Lucca. Lucca is flat while Siena is on a hill top and Lucca is slightly easier to reach by train. Of course, there are many other options and somewhere smaller might appeal. Many Tuscan towns are on hills. Most of the places I've visited in Tuscany were on hill tops but I've read good things about Buonconvento which I think may be flatter, as is Pienza which is elevated but fairly level in town (accessible by an easy bus ride). I think I would pack a hiking pole (in your own luggage if necessary) in case it's required. They take up no space when collapsed and are super popular in Europe with all ages. I'm perfectly mobile and find mine useful on hills (I only use one).

For luggage, a smaller rolling case (preferably two sturdy wheels combined with a day pack will give the same luggage capacity as a large suitcase but will be much easier for everyone to manage. Nobody wants to haul large heavy cases, especially on and off trains. If necessary, tell them that you don't want to injure yourselves (which is no doubt true).

Good luck with your planning. I would think that you've plenty of time.

The big issue I see or at least potential issue is wanting to explore Tuscany. What do you mean by that? Some areas are best handled by driving. If OTOH it means Florence,Pisa,Siena etc you can just take the trains.

With in cities just take a cab. Short cab rides for four people won't be much more than the bus or metro.

Elevators in the city that shouldn't be an issue. Check and make sure the hotel elevator covers all the floors but IIRC two star and above require elevators.

There are laundries etc but if you're hauling a large case will you run out of clothing in two weeks?

OK -- you know your mom and we don't but she should understand that if she is willing to bend just a teensy bit and use a rollator or poles it will make the entire trip easier and more enjoyable for EVERYONE. Otherwise everyone will be limited to what she can manage plus everyone will end up worrying about her every step of the way. By not using mobility aids, being unwilling to use buses, and insisting on massive suitcases - some of their dream trip of a lifetime may end up a nightmare.

Using trains with big luggage is a real pain.

It actually might be better to take a tour (and I almost never recommend that) - but tours, especially higher end ones, will handle everything including schlepping the luggage. But most use buses so probably a no go . . .

Hi Janisj- I agree with you 100% about the poles, but my mom may be the most stubborn person you've ever met. (I love her to pieces, but she's even more bull-headed than I am, and that's saying something!)
I will keep nagging her (I'm her daughter! It's my job!) but you may be right about a tour. I'm not a huge fan of them either, but maybe that's what they need? Happy to hear recommendations for tours if anyone has any!

Hi Traveler_Nick.
I was just assuming that cabs would be super expensive, but now that you mention it, I've never really looked into it. (My husband and I have always been fine with walking or taking public transportation, so I never gave taxis much thought). I should definitely think again!
That's good to know about elevators, too. Thank you.
Good point about the suitcase, as well.

Hi Dreamon. Well, my MOM would say she's fine to go for 3-4 hours, but _I_ would say she really needs to take a break after 30-60 minutes of walking or standing. (I swear I'm not being ageist. She has medical issues and a long history of pushing herself too hard because she doesn't want to slow anyone down.)

My husband and I have been to Venice, Florence, Siena, Rome, Amalfi, and a few other spots for day trips. I think Venice will be far too crowded and Siena IIRC had a lot of steep brick streets. Amalfi was gorgeous, but a long and winding trip. Rome would be tiring in the heat and traffic, but there are so many options there for tours, I'm sure we could work something out that wouldn't be too strenuous. Likewise, I THINK Florence would be ok, but maybe a little crowded (it's just so beautiful, though! I think they'd really like it!). I've heard Orvieto and San Gimigiano are great, but I know almost nothing about them. I don't know anything about Lucca, Pienza, or Buonconvento, either.


We will definitely be working out as many of the details as we can in advance. My husband and I are planners by nature, and it helps put my parents as ease (hence the decision to go together)

You're absolutely right about not changing hotels a lot. It's OUR nature to do so, but it DEFINITELY wouldn't be as much fun for them. Good idea also about blaming my OWN back for having smaller bags and some walking poles. She would never want ME to get hurt, even if she doesn't always take good care of herself! (Moms, amiright?) <3

We recently returned from a visit to Italy (Rome Florence, Venice) with my mobility impaired husband (uses walker/rollator, limited walking and no stairs or hills possible) and two young adult nephews. In Rome, we stayed in a ground floor apartment with great accessibility, master bedroom and accessible bath on first floor, spacious bedroom and second bath on second floor. Located on a quiet side street in Prati, the neighborhood where a lot of Vatican staff live. We used taxis to get around, relying on the itTaxi app as uber is useless in Rome. Our first full day in Rome we did a terrific three hour tour of Rome highlights in a golf cart which alleviated the need for my husband to walk - treacherous for him with all those cobblestones - that would be great to give your mother an easy look at the highlights (Spanish steps, Trevi, Forum, coliseum, etc.) without the physical demands They offer multiple tour options, we did just the three hour highlights tour and loved it.

In Florence we booked a beautiful and accessible ground floor apartment right on the banks of the Arno. Two bedrooms, two baths, nicely furnished and all the mod cons including AC. Easy to call for a taxi.

As for exploring Tuscany, your mother's physical limitations will be an issue virtually everywhere, such as the beautiful but hilly towns of San Gimignano and Siena. Other towns, like Pisa, are pretty flat but do require considerable walking. Any chance you could send Dad off on his own to explore Tuscany, maybe with your husband, while you and Mom stay in Florence? That's what we did, booked an all day tour through Get Your Guide and I went with the boys while DH stayed home. You and your mom could visit the Uffizi and/or Accademia museums, Duomo, Ponte Vecchio...

Regarding luggage, it may make a difference to your parents to know that there are washing machines in the apartments so they can pack lighter.

As to your mother's resistance to assistive equipment, the harsh reality is that there is no visiting Italy without encountering uneven surfaces like cobblestones, hills, stairs and the need to walk a significant distance. I'd suggest (knowing it can be a challenge!) you establish a ground rule that if she wants to go to Italy, she will need to agree to using some assistive device or other when needed. Realistically, it would just not be possible otherwise. We have come to love this that folds like an umbrella to fit in the overhead bin on planes and squeezes to fit down narrow airplane aisles. If your mom plans to do much walking she might be better off with a rollator that would allow her to sit whenever she wants. We have that my husband relies on. The rollator would need to be checked at the door of the plane as you board (much like a baby stroller) but is brought up to the jetway on arrival. Also, let her know that being in a wheelchair often confers advantages - for example, the Vatican museum has wheelchairs for free loan and people with disability and an attendant get free admission without waiting in line.

One other thing, don't forget about arranging for wheelchair service at the airport. When your mother balks, let her know that the distances are considerable and the wheelchair gets you special handling that avoids long lines at security, as well as priority boarding on the plane.

Happy planning!

Think of it this way.

Four metro tickets at €2 end up totalling €8. If you spend €10 or even €15 on the cab does it really matter?

If you're by yourself then it's walking for free or a €2 metro ticket. But groups? Taxis end up not much more expensive.

Seamus, thank you for your wonderful and informative post. I have what I hope is a temporary disability but, realistically, I may not return to my previous level of mobility. Describing how you managed in Italy gives me hope!

Within the Italian train system there is a lot of support for physically challenged customers. Hopefully bvlenci will be along with some links.

Older cities have cobbles but some do not. For instance a lot of central Milan is far smoother.

I might focus on valley bottom Tuscan towns plus Pienza which, though busy, is at least flat.

I was in Rome in June and took a golf cart tour, something I wouldn't have thought about if it hadn't been for a recommendation from a couple I met in Brindisi for a trip to the Appian Way & Catacombs (doesn't mean I think your mother should go to the Catacombs!). This might be a good option, since there isn't any walking between sites. There might be some at some sites, depending on where you're going. I used Biga, book directly with them at their website. Check out their itineraries.

For Tuscany, Pienza is flat in the town. If you want transportation from Florence without train or bus and want a private driver, hilldandroads.com are very good. They will tell you if your itinerary works, or you can tell them your interests and they can plan an itinerary for you.

Your mum's unwillingness to use a bus is an issue. A lot of train stations are some way outside the historic town centres and there is either a longish walk (often uphill) or a bus to get closer in.

What is the bus problem? Worry about the step to get on or not wanting to mix with the general public?

I think Seamus has given you excellent advice. I think it important that your parents pack reasonably such as no larger than a 24 inch suitcase. They can either do laundry in your apartments or they can pay the hotel to do their laundry. Since none of you will drive the only way to tour Tuscany is to take a bus which for some reason your mother will not do or pay for a car service. Only taking a train really limits you In Tuscany. Taking a tour of Italy makes a lot of sense but that requires a bus. I wish you the best of luck.

2Aquilas, it's only when I stop and think of the places that I've visited in Italy that I realise how up and down the country is. The places you've already visited show that too. Nonetheless, it sounds like your mum is able to manage walking as long as she rests regularly, is that the case? I remember, some years ago, that the family tried to persuade my grandmother to get a walker so she could rest when walking got too much (which I suspect is the same as the rollator that people are talking about here). She resisted furiously but after having one for a while she was telling everyone what a great idea "she'd" had in getting one!

The reason I mentioned mid-sized towns is that they are big enough to provide things to see and do within the town - they are big enough to keep you occupied for some time as well as often offering transport to other (smaller) places. Pienza, while attractive, isn't going to keep you occupied for very long.

I suggest you look at Lucca (which also provides train access to Pisa, Florence and other destinations) and possibly Arezzo (which I've yet to visit but it's on my wishlist and looks like it could be promising). Bologna would be another option and there will be many others. You can use street view on google maps to check places out and post here and on Tripadvisor forums for feedback. To maximise your time I suggest you try to get multi-city tickets, say into Rome and home from Pisa or something like that.

I did think of lake Stresa, where travelling by boat is a lovely and relaxing way to move around but I think it is too far from your other desired places. I would hesitate to take a tour for your holiday as they are often very busy and pack a lot in, which doesn't sound like what you want. But taking a few one day local tours could very well suit you all, for example, a tour of rural Tuscany or local vineyards with wine tasting and lunch, etc.

I don't understand about the washing thing. Washing underwear and tshirts, etc, in the sink is normal for most travellers I think. I enjoy choosing my holiday wardrobe, making sure that everything goes with everything else and layers well - that might be something you and your mum could talk about together.

Of course it's probably stating the obvious but separating out in pairs sometimes would be a good idea. You don't say what the interests are of the group but I'm sure chatting about your day in a piazza over coffee or an aperitivo will feature! I think your holiday is a lovely thing to do together.

(also: what do folks do about laundry if they don't wash in sinks and laundromats like my husband and I do???)

We pack for a week (we usually travel for a month or more) and book apartments with laundry facilities.

How would your mom feel about minibus excursions?

A friend recently took her eighty-something half brother to Ortona where his father is buried in the Canadian war cemetery. Everything, from transport from Rome airport to accommodation and fascinating daily excursions, was taken care of. There were eight or so other people at the villa and it quickly felt like travelling with friends.

This was Abruzzo, but I would hope something similar can happen based in Tuscany.

Amazing Abruzzo Tours

Younger than your mother, but I’ve had knee issues for some years. Using at least one hiking pole is key to coping with European towns.

Oh Lordy You'd be surprised!. I would have thought that myself - however I've taught packing classes for more han 20 years and the things you learn! I just assumed every was like me - I'm sooooooo normal after all - take 3 or 4, maybe 5 days worth of undies/socks/wash&wear things and hand wash as needed. But early on it became clear probably 25% - 30+% of the folks in my classes would never EVER consider washing things out in a bathroom sink. There is a strong 'ick factor'. Who would have thought??! So I modified my spiel to accommodate everyone -- "Take 4 days worth of undies/smalls and hand wash and dry in the bathroom overnight, or if you really don't want to hand wash . . . underwear and socks take up very little space so pack enough for the whole trip."

Well, I hate to say it but I think the way you and your husband can most help is to back off of a stubborn stance of yours and take the leap of faith and rent a car; driving is not all that terrible if you don't try it in cities. I am your mom's age but thankfully don't have the mobility issues. We frequently rented cars in Europe; my husband did the driving and I was the navigator; now with GPS it's much easier than it used to be. Now, sadly, I am on my own and travel in Europe relying on public transportation; I can tell you it is much more challenging.

OR, pay the big bucks and spring for a driver.

I would find comfortable lodgings in some more rural areas and not visit the big cities. Italy is so much more than just visiting the bigger name places. You could drop your mom off right at the place you are planning to visit, and then the driver could park the car. With a car luggage is lot less of a problem than when trying to schlep it up and down through train stations. She could be dropped off at the door of your lodging (which would have been chosen for its accessibility).

You also need to think through the flight process, and maybe you will need to get a wheelchair or at least use those little carts that drive people around. This spring I was on an international trip and transited through Atlanta. My fitness tracker told me that I had walked 1.5 miles in the airport just going between gates and getting something to eat.

I have seen people use a type of cane that converts to a small triangular stool for stopping to rest.

Your parents can't wash do hand washing in bathroom sinks???? Some hotels have laundry service (usually at a hefty price).

One more thought re tours: I too was a never-ever-do-a-tour person, but life circumstances can change attitudes. Last year I took a cycling tour (obviously super active type trip) with Road Scholar which is a company aimed at over 55 travelers. While chatting with their rep about their tours, she told me that their tours that are rated easy are frequently taken by people who have mobility issues. I just looked at their 44 Italy trips, and ALL of them are rated as requiring some sort of stamina and exertion necessary. This is the lowest activity level tour, and this is what it says, "On Your Feet: Climbing on and off the motor coach for city visits, walking up to 2 miles per day and standing up to 2 hours; cobblestone streets and uneven terrain." https://www.roadscholar.org/find-an-...-Rome-Florence

This tour isn't cheap, and for the price that 4 of you would have to pay, you could definitely hire your own driver.

Sorry, but this is my hit you in the face with a dose of reality posting.

You have 8 months to retrain mom. First, take her to a local city center or town, visit a department store and walk 8-10 blocks to a restaurant. Include anything interesting to see or do there. See how she does. Or use a big shopping mall. See how she does on the flat. Find test walks that include a hill. Let her see where she has problems. People learn from experience, even negative ones that could be corrected.

Next, reframe the "I won't be seen using a cane" attitude. Not a cane. Get a hiking pole after showing her pictures or videos of young hikers using them. See, mom, no stigma. If the hiking pole can accept a quad tip, even better. Or, perhaps, try out a golfer's walking stick gadget that can expand into a tripod seat for a quick rest. If all else fails, you and your spouse could bring your own hiking poles, then lend them to mom when needed.

Borrow or rent a rolling walker/seat device and take her back to wherever she had a problem on test walks. Let her see how handy and helpful it is.

Make travel tour training a part of your routine starting now, By the time you go on tour, her support system will not be novel.

Then, have a great trip!