suze

oops, we posted at the same time. I was wondering if you were wanting to share a room, stay together your entire trip, etc. Sounds like that isn't your plan.

Marzipan

To Beanweb24:

Your story is romantic and inspiring! I would LOVE to meet someone that way...but I am not expecting it. We will see what happens!

Scarlett

My worry is that any contact info you have on him through emails etc, might not be real. Even if he emailed you his home address, is it real?
I have quite a few internet friends, but I am still cautious when I meet one, a lady, in my home town!
So, while Intrepid gently calls some cynics, (would you call your mom a cynic when she worries about you going out with strangers?) I think the more caution you show, the more fun you can have, without worries of Ted Bundy sort of scenarios.

BTilke

There was a cartoon in the (London) Times that sums this kind of thing up for me:

The Owl and the Pussycat are sailing off to sea in their pea-green boat. Owl is glaring at Pussycat and gripes: "On the Internet you said you were an Owl."

111op

In my opinion, it's not that easy to maintain a fake persona. Or maybe my bullshit detector tends to be on full alert, and after a while I've a good idea as to someone is friend or foe or fake.

Of course, instincts can be wrong.

But keep low expectations and you can be pleasantly surprised. If things turn sour, simply walk away. It's pretty simple.

111op

Also, I think that perhaps the answers reflect the older crowd on Fodor's (I don't mean any disrepect).

I think that I'm younger than the average Fodorite, and most of my friends have personal ads online and have met people online. As I said, I've met people online.

I just found out yesterday that myspace.com surpasses Google in terms of page views. Yet how many of you have heard of myspace? I only found out about it a few months ago. It's very popular with the 20-somethings. I also read that about 20% of teenagers blog.

There's little doubt that meeting someone you've met online is very much acceptable these days. But of course, one takes precautions.

Catbert

This is funny. I met a fodorite who I had only emailed with at the bottom of the stairs at the Milan train station. We traveled together for the next week. We had a wonderful time and became fast friends.

suze

My caution of this is only because you are so far from home. I know many people who successfully date off the internet, but when you're at home you have a natural support network. I think of this similar to if you lost cash/ATM card/passport, at home it is an inconvenience but much easier to remedy than when traveling.

azure0327

Why not arrange to meet for lunch or tour a museum/site while in Europe before deciding whether you want him as a traveling companion. Your instincts will let you know... Of course there are risks in meeting strangers but it is much more common these days to hit it off with people you meet online, especially if you share the same interests. Just be careful, like in any situation.

ira

>Even if you meet a psycho, you can still walk (or run) away.<

Tell that to Marion Crane.

Marzipan

The man in question lives in a state far from mine, and no, there will not be an opp to meet him before I leave for Europe.

I don't want to spend the $$ to do that as I was originally planning on travelling alone anyway.

If we meet, and get along, then great. Otherwise, nothing lost but time I guess.

SAnParis

Desperate times call for desperate measures...maybe a phone call would help (?) & he can provide his number to you. You can find out a lot w/that little bit of information. I'm w/Cato...of course you run a risk w/anyone you meet for the first time, but predators on the internet are plentiful. I have a firend that works for the FBI that poses as an underaged female & you would be mortified by all the freaks out there...

111op

I had to Google Marion Crane.

Well, you must admit Norman Bates is creepy. Who would keep talking his mother?

I still remember the first time I saw "Psycho." That scene near the end was shocking!

(Oops -- I do travel with my mother. But yk is still around. )

I think there're freaks, but people should be smart enough to sniff them out.

Maybe carry some pepper spray. And yell and kick his balls if necessary. Just kidding.

SuzieC

It is totally assumed and natural to talk on the telephone AND exchange pictures.

The fact that one of my internet "interests" turned out to be a woman pretending to be a man should in no way affect your situation.

leslie

Just a question for all of you naysayers. How many of you have met up with Fodorites throughout the world because your trips coincided, or because you would be nearby to where someone lives? How many of you have met up at a GTG? What brought you all together was this forum - on the Internet.

For those of you that have met that have been separated by an ocean, how many of you exchanged telephone calls besides email messages?

Yes, use common sense, take precautions and be safe. But, if you find a person that you have something in common with that you can spend a couple of hours or more with, enjoy yourself.

Scarlett

LOL SuzieC!

I am sure there are many success stories for those who travel alone and meet up with people. But we should always be aware that there are just as many not so successful stories.
Even on the internet, one makes a lot of mistakes, thankfully, it is basically easy to end those without too much worry about repercussions. I think being alone in a country where I might not even speak the language and having to shake loose a not so pleasant person could be a nightmare.
One you cannot just block from your email box when you want to step back..
"desperate times call for desperate measures" can mean something entirely different then..

Scarlett

ps
I have known of people who left everything they had behind, home and family to follow someone to another place/country/state and after time, found they made a Big mistake.
So meeting a total internet stranger can go that way or be a treat.
I just have this mother instinct that makes me want to say..take someone else along with you, be so very careful!!

francophile03

I know a few people who have met via emails and text messages after initially meeting on a travel site. Everything worked out well and they've become good friends now. Hopefully one can distinguish between an honest person and a weirdo, but it is risky.

Leely

Marzipan,

(Oh, how I love you covered in dark chocolate...but that's another story.)

Meet him for lunch instead of dinner/drinks. Daytime vs. nighttime. Or plan to visit a museum together.

More likely he'll turn out to be a bore rather than a psycho.

Have fun!

111op

Scarlett: "One you cannot just block from your email box when you want to step back"

Well, that's why I've about six e-mail addresses, and I'm sure that most people have multiple accounts. I've only one with my complete first and last name, and I only use that e-mail with people I know well. It's not an address I give it to a random person I just met.

I'm pretty lax with my cell phone number. Here the problem seems more to be that people don't write. Unless I'm wrong, cell phone numbers aren't listed.

(For those who've not done this exercise, try typing your land line # into Google. If you're listed, you get a full name, an address and a map.)

SuzieC, I'm curious to know where you met the man/woman, if that's not too personal a question.

But yes, talking on the phone is a very good idea.