To those of you who have been following this thread with interest, I thought that you would like an update. DH is now on the email and phone every day begging me to come down and join him on the boat in the BVI at the end of this month. He is lonely and miserable without me. Ta da! Did many of you predict this? Anyway, maybe I will, and maybe I wont. This little experiment may turn out to be a very valuable experience indeed. Will keep you posted on my decision. No harm it letting him wait for a couple of days to receive my answer to this request.

Anyway, aside from that, we now turn to Rome, where he also now wants very much to join me for the last week. Maybe I will permit this, and maybe I won't. It all depends on if he is missing me enough to behave himself or not. I believe he is.

My request for assistance is this. If I do "invite" him to join me, I was thinking that it would be lovely for me to surprise him with an overnight trip from Rome to the Amalfi Coast. More than anything he loves a view of the water, being the sailor that he is and all. I have already contacted Le Sirene only to discover that they will not be open for guests until April.

If DH does come, he will be there during the 2nd week of March, my last week in Rome. Do any of you have any suggestions for another small, romantic(?) hotel or b&b on the coast that would be affordable (for one or two nights), with a nice view of the sea, and not too many stairs (my knee)?

Thanks in advance for your interest in this marital soap-opera related to spouse travel, and any suggestions about my request. Promise I will write a report and fill you in on all of the details (well, maybe not all). Thanks again for all of your help and interest. jg

in march you had better stick to Sorrento, there is more going on at that time of year, unless there is a special reason you want to stay in Praiano. If so, try the Onda Verde
http://www.ondaverde.it/welcoming.htm

SeaUrchin, that is such a beautiful place. Thanks for the link. View is just breathtakine. I am going to contact them and see if they are open in March and what there 2007 rates are. It looked reasonable at first, but then I saw that those amounts were per person in a double room. That could be pretty high. Anyway, it could also be worth it. The credit card is presently paid off.

OK, here's the scoop on the continuing drama. I will be flying down to Tortola on Wednesday to be with my DH. To those of you I-told-you-sos, you were right. Good outcome of this experiment in traveling is this: our discovery that we can't be apart for this long any more. In fact, he has decided to leave the boat in charter for now if we won't be using it "together" for extended trips. I can't withstand his pleas and begging any longer, so I let him make my reservations this morning for this Wednesday. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I believe we now have a new and fresh appreciation of each other, of how in love we still are, and vows to be kinder to each other, less complaining, more considerate, and more patient when we travel together. Time will tell. Will keep you up to date.

Oh, by the way, the link for the boat is bvi-sanctuary.com, in case you are interested in taking a look and seeing photos of us on past travels. At present DH does not take people out for day-trip excursions, only friends and family, but it does look like she is going to be available for charter again, now that we know he won't be going out on any more extended trips without his DW. Some lessons are just harder to learn than others!

BTW, too bad, sorry to disappoint all of you guys out there, but that is NOT ME in the bikini! I'm the one always trying to hide inside and under my big sarong. The girl with the big blond hair is our daugher, the one who is now in Rome teaching English. DH's two children from his first marriage are also aboard in many of these pictures. My DH is the one with the grey beard, the Ernest Hemingway-looking guy.

I know these pictures might make some of you drool with envy, but let me reassure you again: Living day and night on a sailboat is hard work and not all that glamorous. Women, especially, if this is something you ever want to think of trying, just ask me about the "real" things you are going to have to deal with everyday. Not always pretty!

SeaUrchin, forgot to ask. Before I contact that hotel, what is the difficulty of the walking level to get up and down and around? It looks scary steep to me, with the bum knee.
Would I be able to handle the many steps, and are there really many? jg

jgarvey, I just took a peek at your pics. You look as nice as you sound.

And I love your description of your dh: I've got an Ernest Hemingway-looking guy, too, though most people tell him he's a ringer for Phil Jackson (LA coach).

Oh, forgot about the knee. There re ramps and I don't remember stairs. Try these hotels too, Tramonto del Oro and Tritone, I don't think they have stairs.

Look at Positano and Sorrento too.

Have fun!

Thanks, SeaUrchin, as you can tell from last post, I believe that DH and I are ready to make a new attempt to travel together and get along. He has had a true epiphany, and so have I. We like being together more than we like being apart, so I believe that we will approach this with a new spirit and dedication to making it work for the both of us.

Thanks to all married couples who have contributed wisdom and hope to this thread. jg

Lucie, my DH also gets the reaction, pretty often in fact, that he looks like Kenny Rogers (sp?), the singer. Whatever--he still looks good to me.

Hello jgarvey, I am so glad that things have worked out for the two of you. Sometimes couples go through difficult periods, it happens in the best of marriages.

Your website, oh how it makes me miss my boat! Thanks for sharing..but honestly, I soooo miss my boat!

Best wishes to both of you, enjoy every precious moment.

LoveItaly, just a note to let you know that I have so appreciated your kind and supportive comments to me on this thread. I did not realize until I reviewed all the posts just now that you have lost your dear husband. That makes your remarks to me even more meaningful. Life is so short, and hearing your encouragement has played a part in helping me to feel that I am not making a mistake to go to him and the boat right now. He needs me; we need each other. Being on the boat for a short time is a small sacrifice to pay for the time we will be back together to renew our love and commitments to each other. All of this has been a very valuable life lesson. Thanks again for your kind support. I hope it has helped all the others here as well. jg

Oh jgarvey, if I in any way helped I am so glad. Yes dear one, life is short..enjoy your time together as it is precious. Hugs to you!!

I just had to tune in to another episode of "Another World With JGarvey."

JulieG's idea of maybe sailing in the Greek islands, and your idea of going down to the Amalfi Coast, seems to show promise as a compromise. Putting the boat in charter for awhile also seems a good idea. The idea of feeling trapped on board a boat seems to have depressed you as much as being trapped inland seems to have distressed him. It now seems it was never that you felt trapped with each other, only by the respective situations in which you found yourselves.

You are right, the relationships we have with our travelling companions are every bit as important as logistics, and much more challenging to resolve. Everyone needs a safety button to push while on vacation with someone, a kind of "In Case of Emergency Break Glass (or should that be, Inflate Rubber Raft)" plan.

Thanks for the update, even if it ruins the likelihood of a cliffhanger like "Who shot Jgarvey's husband" a la JR on Dallas....

After much pleading from my DH, I am leaving on Wednesday morning to join him for a little while on the boat. Right now, I really do think this is the best thing to do in the interests of our marriage. If you don't hear from me for awhile, then you know thi is where I will be.

I'm concerned anyway that this post is growing a bit too personal and tedious for many of you. So a break will be good for now. To all of you who have volunteered your support and concern, I thank you. I hope that this thread has been as helpful to others as it has been to me--for all who sympathize with the fact that the good relations with your traveling companion(s)is just as important as where you decide to sleep and eat.

Tomorrow I will have to throw all of my Carribean gear into a suitcase very fast. Thank goodness I have done this many times before. No time for even a decent haircut or pedicure, or to lose a few extra pounds before the swimsuit goes on. Most important thing--to go be with my husband who wants me there.

For all of you who have become interested in "Another World" with Jgarvey and her DH, I will fill you in with the next chapter when I return--or maybe even from the boat.

Until then, may you all keep the faith and do the work necessary to travel together and keep the loving alive. Your friend in Fodors, jg

SeaUrchin, I have contacted all of the hotels links that you so generously sent to me. Bad news: None are open until April 2007. Do I have any other options to surprise my DH with an unexpected and romantic two days anywhere on the Amalfi coast in mid-March), so he can have a view of his beloved water? I am starting to lose hope. jg

Ah, my little mermaid friend, I think you will have to try Sorrento. I know there are some open in Positano but I am not sure about stairs for you.
I will peek at Sorrento but I am online talking to a person at Lampsplus right now!

I have been married for 22 years. My husband's idea of a vacation was sitting on a boat in the sun day after day, sometimes going to the ocean. He wasn't into seeing different places, culture etc...

For a long time my girls and I took those type of vacations with him. But frankly, we never really had a good time because we weren't doing what we really wanted to do. So now my daughters and I vacation together. He stays home or goes to the lake and we are much happier that way.

I can't think of any married couples who think exactly alike and like ALL the same things. But denying yourself is wrong. Life can be short, so you should see the things YOU want to see while you still can. I may sound morbid, but I work in a hospital and see a lot and, I lost my mother a year and a half ago. She never got to see Europe, which is a shame. You shouldn't miss the things you want to see either!

"I'm concerned anyway that this post is growing a bit too personal and tedious for many of you."

Boy, you got that one right.

SeaUrchin, thanks for the new suggestions, but this time of year for Amalfi may just not work.

Ledhead, thanks for the supportive comments like yours that continually provide reinforcement that this is a topic that many have been interested in and have opinions on.

NorthShore, it's called free choice. Just stop reading. Obviously I realize that this is not a subject for all, but 99 posters indicate that it is a subject of interest to many.