each week my e-mail issue of TimeOut London gives me the chance to cast a vote in their readers' poll and i like to consult with locals as to how to make the best vote. Help!

READERS' POLL
A think tank has argued that Londoners deserve a higher minimum wage than the rest of the country. So this week we want to know: What other benefits should Londoners receive?

A) Discounts on bulletproof vests

B) Free stress counselling for all tube users

C) Official licence to elbow dawdlers on Oxford Street

well i really can't chose here - All of the Above?

Thanks
Or some write-in vote

A) Are they confusing London with Nottingham?

B) Getting stressed on the tube is nature's way of saying you ought to live somewhere more suited to the whining maiden aunts who've obviously taken over Tout. Anyway, a bit of creative tension first thing in the morning gets the juices flowing.

c)Getting there, but the write in has to be:

D)Automatic rights to push tourists hanging round tube platform entrances onto the rails, to push tourists on the wrong side of escalators downstairs, and to castrate anyone trying to get on before everyone's off.

d) the right to brand on the forehead the word "Wanker" on anyone who sits outside a cafe on a busy road because they think it's continental and chic. it isn't. it's the bloody edgeware Road and it's dirty, you buffoons.

An electronic zapper thing to switch off other people's noisy music players and mobile phones.

Those things exist - they're called TASERS.

It's the electronics I want to switch off, not the people. But it's a close-run thing sometimes, I will admit.