elizabeth

In the late 70s I worked for the Hyatt Regency Vancouver with responsibility for "large convention" sales. Part of my job was to meet with convention organizer before their group arrived and do a "profile" of the average convention attendee. We had a group arriving called the "Texas Oil Well Drillers Association". The organizer described them as follows (I wish I could do a Texas accent in print, but let your imagination go) "Well" he said "About 3 years ago these people were scratching out a living on the driest soil you can imagine....and then they found oil and now they're rich". The significance of this comment was lost on me until the group started to arrive. It was the middle of July and the hotel was horribly over-booked (650 rooms - 750 reservations). At about 3:00pm the Front Desk called me to come down as they had a MAJOR problem. Most of the attendees had arrived by private plane and had ASSUMED we would realize that and that there would be a room for their pilot as well (the usual question was "How'd you all think we were gettin' here?) The Front Desk was freaking out and we ended up with 4 pilots to a room.(there were more Lear Jets at the Vancouver Airport than ever before) <BR> <BR>Within 24 hours the group had drained the hotel of Chivas Regal and Crown Royal and staff members [me included] were running out to liquor stores buying up all the stock of expensive liquor we could find! <BR> <BR>As it turned out it was the greatest group the hotel ever hosted. By the end of the 4 days we were all talking with Texas twangs and had many hugs and kisses when they left. (I haven't even mentioned the guy who ended up in my office with 100 pounds of salmon he caught that day wanting to have a private dinner party for 150 - in the next half hour..........)

Scott

Here's one I still laugh about. Brought the family down to DisneyWorld a few years ago and was waiting in line for some ride in Fantasyland when I struck up a conversation with a man from Missouri and he asked me where we had come from. I said Connecticut and it that it took 3 hours to get here. He said in a drawl..(I am not making this up) So did'ya drive?

Joanna

My sister asked what the soup of the day was - the waitress replied "I think it's a meal"!!!!!

Dayle

I'm so glad someone found this! These are still funny the second time around...

D.B.

Actually, Elvira's theory has merit. Gravity increases as you approach the center of a mass, and the gravity at Death Valley (way below sea level) is stronger than it is at the top of Mt. Mckinley (or Everest, or the Matterhorn, or whatever). Therefore Elvira, whenever you wish to lose weight, simply climb a mountain. I suppose we will have to wait and see how this affects your release of hot air. <BR> <BR>I said this once some time ago, but the dumbest question we used to ask people, wherever we went, was "How do you get to Disneyland?" Simply because it is such a common "tourist" question in So. Cal. <BR>

Joanne

Joanna, this one is like your 45 cent stamp story. Last month, I was in roadshock after learning that we had to drive from Nice to Rome instead of training. Somewhat shakey after driving out of Nice to the border, we came to the first Italian toll booth. I was thinking French francs when the booth attendant said "48,000 lire please". My mouth dropped open, my eyes were wide and, stunned, I asked him "How much is 48,000 lire?" Almost in unison, the booth attendant and my kids in the back seat said "48,000 lire!" My kids and husband were hysterical and the booth attendant was laughing. Turns out, of course, it was only about $25USD. <BR> <BR>I will never live that one down (nor my faux pas in Paris: Who's buried in Napoleon's Tomb???) Just kidding on that last one.

pam

Or 'Who's buried in the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier?' <BR> <BR>As my train was arriving in Monaco, I heard a woman say to her teenaged daughter, just outside my compartment, "Look, honey, there's the famous pink palace of Morocco!" (That, and the memory of tourists with instamatic cameras taking flash photos inside Notre Dame, still make me laugh.)

elvira

Oh my the new stories are as just as funny as the first ones. I still love our winter visitors who 1) wonder where the big sand dunes are and 2) ask if "our Indians" still go on the warpath. <BR> <BR>DB, the good news is that gravity has NO impact on my hot air capacity, no matter where I am. In fact, my bombasting is of the same quality whether in the Alps or Death Valley. I think it's more closely tied to alcohol consumption than altitude.

D.B.

So Elvira, it's a matter of attitute not altitude. <BR>

mwg

To the person who pointed out the humor of having a rental car company put a picture of a car in Venice on the brochure cover: My confession - When I was a student in Nice, I drove with a bunch of friends from Nice to Venice specifically because we wanted to have a car there to see the sights! We all thought there was restricted driving but did not realize there were absolutely no steets you can drive on. As a related thought, I once drove a cab on New York as a summer job and a bunch of Italians complained to me because, when they asked to visit the Statue of Liberty, I took them to the ferry dock. They wanted to be driven to the statue and were shocked to learn that it sits on an island in the middle of the harbor. We all do things or ask questions that we later learn to regret.

Kelly

Oh, there are so many stupid questions. One of my friends whose has lived outside of DC all his life was visiting California. He has no discernable accent that I can tell, but while in a store the cashier asked him where he was from. "Virginia" he said. "What's that" was her reply. <BR>

topper

to the top

lindi

(sorry, these are not all travel related) <BR> <BR>On a SHIP: Does the crew sleep on board? <BR> <BR>Twelwe o' clock. What time is that? <BR> <BR>"if he were ALIVE, he would be turning in his grave" <BR> <BR>So what language do you speak in Hungary? German or Russian? answer: Hungarian! <BR> <BR>Is Hungary in Germany? <BR> <BR>Is Hungary in the U.S.? (THIS IS TRUE!) <BR> <BR>Is Hungary a desert? Does it ever snow? <BR> <BR>me being tired: if I open this can, will I eat it? <BR> <BR>"My sister is usually a year older than me, but sometimes two" (15 months difference, so from Dec. to March she IS 2 years older!) <BR> <BR>Read it somewhere, these were recorded in courts: <BR>"How many times did you commit suicide?" <BR>(collision)"How far were the cars from each other at the moment of impact?" <BR>"Is your deceased husband still alive?" <BR> <BR> <BR>

Kaja

I live in Norway, and I have been asked by tourists where they can see the polar bears and if the polar bear lives near towns...... <BR>I have been asked this question several times, and it is actually a question tourists ask a lot when visiting Norway. It is like a national joke here on Norway........ <BR> <BR>Other questions I have been asked: <BR> <BR>Is Norway the capitol of Sweeden? <BR> <BR>Does people in Norway stay inside during winter? <BR> <BR>Why is Norway, Denmark and Sweeden three different countries? <BR> <BR>Is it possible to fly to Norway? <BR> <BR>Is it possible to get a tan in the summer or is it too cold? <BR> <BR>I can't remember more, but I have been asked a lot of strange questions about Norway. <BR>Kaja <BR>

Bob Brown

My "dumbest question ever" was, in restrospect, asked by me. We were at Charles deGaulle Airport in a panic trying to make our connecting flight home. (We did.) <BR>Our flight from Zurich was over an hour late, so our connecting time had shrunk to 28 minutes by the time we landed. We had ride the shuttle bus to change from Terminal B to Terminal C, etc. Behind us in line, also waiting for the shuttle bus, was a group headed for Newark. They were in a similar situation and were letting the world know in loud, strident tones. The poor gate keeper was really getting an earful. Even if he did not understand Jerseyite American, I am sure the tone of voice and the loudness of the clamor conveyed a very hostile message. A man behind me was quite profuse and profane in his comments. Finally he shouted "This is a %%% way to run a &&*** airline. I am going to write the president!" I asked him which president? The answer: "Bill Clinton." <BR>Shouda known!!

Gandalf

Not a question...but definite culture shock. While in Mexico, my grandmother went up to a lady on the street to ask directions, in English. The rest of the conversation went like this: <BR>Lady(with thick accent): No english. <BR>Grandmother(caught off guard): What? <BR>Lady: No english. <BR>Grandmother(looking at grandfather):Can you understand her? <BR>Grandfather: She's saying she doesn't speak English. <BR>Grandmotherhhhh. (looking back at the lady) Neither do I!! <BR> <BR>

Carolyn

My husband was stationed at Schofield Army Base on Oahu, and our daughter was born at Tripler Army Hospital when Hawaii was still a territory. After we came home, I was asked if she was a U.S. citizen.

ilisa

I've been too embarrassed too post this one, but here I go. Two years ago, my husband and I had a lovely Dutch policewoman stay with us for a week. My parents came to visit at the same time. One day, my dad took me aside and asked, "Yvonne says she's Dutch and from the Netherlands, so where is Holland? Is it a town in the Netherlands?"

dumb one

Two dumb, dumb, questions: <BR> <BR>1) Where's Boston? (asked by a Minnesotan) and <BR> <BR>2) Where's Philadelphia? (aksed by a Floridan) <BR> <BR>Come on guys, ever take American history in school??? <BR> <BR>BTW, Lindi, there's no such thing as 12 o'clock...it's either midnight or noon...

redneck

OOOH Lindi. If you are in Europe, 12:00 hours means noon because 24:00 is always midnight!! And in the Ewe Ess Aye <BR>I have seem references to 12:00 AM and 12:00 PM, with much attendent confusion as to whether it was night or day. <BR>