elvira

The house we rented this fall was in a farming area of France. Late one night (around 10:00) there was a great deal of activity on the road and in the fields near the house; VERY big farm machinery was being run (like combines and reapers), but we couldn't see what was going on. We did a lot of speculating, but couldn't figure out what was up. <BR>The next day, we found out that our guide was from the town near the house. One of the group asked the guide "what do the farmers do at night?". The look on the guide's face was priceless.

Rex

I think is from some British cartoon show, whose name I've forgotten - - <BR> <BR>Tourist: Can I have a cappuccino to go? <BR> <BR>Waiter: No, cappuccino, only espresso <BR> <BR>Tourist: Oh that's great actually, because I'm in a hurry!

rosie

My friend visiting America from Scotland (schooled in England) was in a Greyhound station in Midland Texas. While having a conversation with a young man from Sweden, a little old lady asked him "Where ya'll from? to which he responded "I live in Scotland Madame" to which she said "you shore do speak good anglish for a foreigner!" To which my friend said "Madame we invented the bloody language! I just love when he tells that story!!!!

Bob Brown

Rosie,in some respects your grandmother's observations about the Scotsman's linguistic skills are quite accurate. 1. The gentleman in question was foreign. 2. He did speak good English. <BR> <BR>Having found myself totally unable to understand some of the Scottish dialects, I tend to agree with your grandmother! <BR> <BR>I have often wondered what it would take for some of the Appalachin folks to communicate orally with some of the rural Scottish folks. We once were in the mountains of North Carolina and could not help but hear a conversation between a brother and sister that involved a dispute concerning the brother's non compliance with a parental directive. Mind you, hearing the exchange in this case does not mean understanding. Finally, in total frustration, the girl yelled at her brother "Don't yawl speak no English?" At least we got that much!! <BR> <BR>An incident involving other question that produced a highly unexpected answer happened to me and my wife once in a restaurant in Lethbridge, Alberta. A group of Canadians in the restaurant were relatively loud in their conversation. Without mistake, we heard them use repeatedl the term redneck. <BR>I hadn't expected that term in southern Alberta. So I asked our waitress what Canadians meant when they used the term "redneck". The young lady, knowing where we were from, blushed and said "They mean Americans." <BR> <BR>At that point I decided to refrain from any attempts to define the attributes of the redneck class to see if I was a member.

kim

Twenty years ago my cousin (who was about 20) from Pennsylvania came to visit us in Florida. She obviously wasn't impressed! The beaches were "too sandy" and Disney World only sold stuff with Mickey Mouse on it. Last of all she, wanted to know how much stamps cost in Florida. <BR> <BR>Back to the top!

elizabeth

While it's not a travel related "dumb question" I am reminded of a meeting I once attended. While the subject doesn't matter, the issue of whether or not a letter of approval had been obtained went on for several minutes. After several assurances that it had, a very earnest junior member of the team - trying desperately to contribute to the meeting somehow - brought the house down with the following question "Did you get that letter in writing?" <BR> <BR>Although this person has gone on to a very distinguished career, some of us have never let him live that down. <BR> <BR>

Dianna

Nancy, I know what you mean about Whitehall in London. Upon getting up too late to take the tour we started out ourselves. While popping up out of the subway we stumbled upon the guards and their horses. We thought this must be Buckingham Palace (even though it was a bit ugly), we stood there waiting for them to do something for about an hour before we asked what was happening. We were told they were going to the palace for the changing of the guards. Of course, we couldn't run as fast as the horses, so we missed the changing and learned later we were at Whitehall.

David

After returning from a two week trip to Italy and England, we got into a super shuttle at the airport for the ride home. We shared it with with two other fares, one being a native Englishwoman who now lived in the states. After a 15 hour flight no one was very talkative...except the driver, who constantly kept asking questions and making general comments about travel. Finally, he asked what language they spoke in England! I'm sure your first impression is that he was putting us on...but you had to be there...he wasnt; he was as ignorant as they come. Great way to be welcomed home!

Patrick

Currently on a rival's travel forum web site, a guy explains that he is a travel agent taking a group of 16 next summer to Greece. Then he proceeds to ask if there is much to see or do in Greece, whether they should just take a cruise or actually stay on individual islands, and if anyone can suggest things to do and places to stay. Now that's what I call a travel agent!!!Still can't figure out if he's just pulling all our legs.

April

Rednecks - in the eye of the beholder? It might be in Alberta that some people think of Americans as rednecks, Bob, but here on the coast of BC I've heard many who would more likely put that label on Albertans!

caen

Saw this in a survey in USA Today, dumbest questions reported by travel agents: <BR>Traveller asks his agent, who is booking a Miami Beach hotel for a Florida vacation, "How close is the beach to the water where that hotel is?"

Bob Brown

Hi April, even though this is not the Canadian Forum, there was one other incident on that same trip that was funny. We were staying in Waterton Townsite in the park. Our rental car needed to have the tires balanced, so on a rainy day we drove out of the park to the little village of Mountain View. <BR>The garage also doubled as post office, store and gossip center. Because it was wet, the farmers could not cut hay, so they were in town to do other things. The cook from the Prince of Wales Hotel, in full dress uniform, popped in to transact some postal business. Some of the farmers started teasing him about a promotion at the hotel called Christmas in August. <BR>We had been in the hotel earlier that day just to see what it was like and had already seen the Christmas trees and decorations. <BR>The cook allowed as to how he thought the whole promotion was a [deleted] stupid American idea, plus a few other descriptive adjectives. The post mistress spoke up and said "Watch what you say. Not everyone here is Canadian" The cook looked around and asked somewhat defensively, "Who's not a Canadian?" <BR>My wife raised her hand and said, in her best Alabama accent, "Me." That broke up the group, totally. <BR>(By the way, we have visited BC 4 times and loved it. We have driven the interior from Abbortsford to Mt. Robson via Kelowna, Vernon, and Kamloops, from Yoho to Vancouver, and north on the island from Victoria to Courtney.) <BR>

Joanna

An American lady visiting Capt. Cook's cottage in Melbourne was told the story tale of his demise, being killed by the Hawaiians. Her comment was "I'm so glad, after what he did to Peter Pan." She was mixing up Capt. Hook with Capt. Cook : the weird thing is she seems to think the whole "Peter Pan" thing is real!

Joanna

Boy am I having a bad day! I mean't the "sad tale of his demise", not the "story tale..."

Roger

Elvira's gravity theories are all so much hot air. If you go down a mine your weight decreases, because the pull of the earth below you is counterbalanced by the pull of the earth above you. The further you go the more this balances out.

Judi

Not a question, but dumb: <BR>While visiting the Nerja caves I overheard a woman say, "They're so beautiful, they look artificial."

lindi

just a clarification: the words "Twelwe o'clock. What time is that?" were spoken by the SAME person, and then after realizing what she said, she broke out laughting. <BR>A weird sentence from my economics professor: "It is impossible to find out who wants five kilograms of meat." <BR>Also: "Anyway. Those things are all about these things" and "before...like, long time ago" <BR> <BR>I read these in a "stupid questions collection": <BR>- Will I get wet if I go snorkeling? <BR>-Is there water all around the island? <BR>-What do you do with the ice carvings after they melt?

lindi

just a clarification: the words "Twelwe o'clock. What time is that?" were spoken by the SAME person, and then after realizing what she said, she broke out laughting. <BR>A weird sentence from my economics professor: "It is impossible to find out who wants five kilograms of meat." <BR>Also: "Anyway. Those things are all about these things" and "before...like, long time ago" <BR> <BR>I read these in a "stupid questions collection": <BR>- Will I get wet if I go snorkeling? <BR>-Is there water all around the island? <BR>-What do you do with the ice carvings after they melt?

Bob Brown

I pondered the ice carving question above and finally decided that there are at least two possible actions: pour the water out of the container and/or mop up the floor. <BR> <BR>

rand

All very funny. Two that come to mind from here. <BR>Tourist: Thats pretty, what is it? <BR>Clerk: Thats the Canadian flag. <BR>Tourist: Does it come in blue? <BR> <BR>Another <BR>What time does the undersea gardens sail?