I am planning an Italy trip for April, approx. 2 weeks, for my husband and me. We have not been to Europe in 30 years, and never have been to Italy. For background, I am 56, active and eager to travel. He is 61, less active, and unenthusiastic about travel. I am fond of boutique hotels, B&B style accommodations and the like.
My favorite vacation was a 6 night hiking, biking 'luxury camping' (an oxymoron I know) trip to Bryce, Grand, and Zion Canyons with the company called Backroads. I went with my teenage daughter. My husband's favorite trip was Bermuda in November, when the crowds were gone - we stayed at a lovely small hotel next to Elbow Bay Resort, operated by the Bermuda tourism school - it was my gift to him (well - to us)for his 50th birthday. He also loves cruises. Here are my thoughts and questions:
1. I originally thought we would do a leisurely bus tour, which many of the companies offer, but after searching the boards, and reading the many complaints, I decided against that. The potential of being in out of the way hotels, with me wanting to possibly get out and walk around alone, was very unappealing. As was crowded buses, self righteous tour guides, and being led to places to shop - I hate shopping - all the while whizzing by gorgeous places.
2. Then I looked at the smaller group tours. I personally would love to try a Rick Steves tour, but that would not fit my husband at all. OAT (Overseas Adventure Travel, a sister of Grand Circle) might work, but they really don't have tours that hit the main cities, and since we have never been to Italy, I'd like to see them.
3. I'm left with an independent rail tour, like Monogram does (it is a division of Globus), spending 3 nights in Rome, Florence, Venice, and maybe Sorrento, or without Sorrento and continuing to the Northern Lakes or Cinque Terre after Venice. Regardless, I would add an extra night in Rome. But what I am leaning toward is planning an independent trip with the help of a travel agent who specializes in Italy. I am not willing to plan it alone - not even with the help of the many of you on the boards.
4. After my husband said he really didn't want to go to Venice (that was after our son told him that on his Contiki trip to Europe, Venice was his least favorite stop because he felt it was just filled with tourists and not locals - his favorite Italian city was Florence by the way - he thought it was gorgeous), the travel agent proposed 4 nights Rome, train to Florence for 4 nights, rent a car and drive to B&B in Chianti for 4 nights of Tuscany, then fly home from Pisa (Delta now has non stops to JFK from Pisa). Sounded good to me - although I was concerned about renting a car - but my husband is adamant about not renting a car in a country where we don't speak the language. And he has a point there. So now I'm a little lost as far as how to plan this trip.
5. My husband would be more willing to go to Venice if I could reassure him that just because it is a city of canals, that doesn't mean it is filled with mold and mildew and mosquitoes that will make him miserable (he has bad allergies and sinuses). Can anyone speak to this?
6. If we plan on the 3 cities, Rome for 4, Florence 3 (if going to Tuscan hills too) or 4, Venice 2 or 3, plus one scenic area, should we choose Sorrento (or another Amalfi coast city), Tuscany, Cinque Terre, or the Northern Lakes. Keep in mind this is in April, so the weather could be a factor. If we are not renting a car, which is easiest to get to and then get around? I'd like to have some suggestions about this so that when I speak with the travel agent again, I can offer some thoughts on what we might like.

I know this was a long post, but I hope some of you have read through to this point and can chime in. And please - no suggestions that I ditch my travel partner for another. I've actually considered that - but my son works and doesn't have enough days off, my daughter is in college and not available (I'm thinking a Rick Steves tour somewhere for her graduation), my mom is too old to do a strenuous itinerary of travel (I might do a river cruise with her), and my friends are all busy and traveling with their own families. So it is me and my reluctant traveler.

Thanks for anyone who can offer suggestions.

Google "Bob the Navigator." Really.

There is nothing less rewarding than spending time arranging a trip you are looking forward to , and then spending it with a "reluctant traveler'.
One always feels the other person is not "pleased" ,you are "dragging" them along and that you are somehow responsible for all their whining.

Been there, done that. Stopped
Traveled alone a lot. Had a good time doing it.

Hi butnotrmpt,

OK, here's my background and opinions. I've visited Italy 3 times for a total of 9 weeks. Not as expert as many here by any means. However, I learned to drive on the California freeways and absolutely love to drive a stick!


I've driven in Italy 2 trips (just in the countryside) and found it super easy, fun, relaxing and beautiful. They drive on the same side of the road, I do not find the signage confusing at all. In fact, I like their system a lot better than what we have in the US. It's helpful to have good, detailed maps and be able to read them. Know the towns/cities along your route and just follow the signs to the next one as you go along! So what if you get a little lost and make a couple U turns? You'll run across more beautiful scenery and discover things you didn't know existed! If you're in too big a hurry to allow for a little U turn - you've planned too much! I've never used a GPS, but many here love them.

No reason to be concerned about not speaking Italian. Most of the Italians you will deal with as a tourist will speak English far better than you could ever speak Italian. It's common courtesy (and handy) to learn the basic words, like grazie, per favore, dove, binario, camere, numbers, gellato, vino, etc.

I would be surprised if a travel agent "specializing in Italy" could help you as much as everyone here can! I've planned 4 Europe trips with the help of this board - all independant travel, the last one solo for 3 weeks (and driving solo too). No problems, had a fantastic time.

I would travel from Venice, to Florence, to Tuscany, then finish in Rome. You could have a lovely trip in 2 weeks. You really need a car for Tuscany. If you just can't bring yourselves to rent one, go for the lakes after Venice. You don't need a car if you stay at either Como or Maggiore.

It's all wonderful! Bella Italia! I think your husband will be converted. Very few are not.

Buon viaggio!

I completely agree with danon. There is nothing more miserable than going on a trip with a reluctant traveler partner. You will find yourself spending all your time trying to make your husband happy and will end up not enjoying yourself.

My husband does not really enjoy Europe, especially big bustling cities. He also does not like to travel for more than a week at a time. I am only a little younger than you and I realized that if I was ever going to see all of the places I dreamed of seeing, I better start seeing them without him. I spent 2 ½ weeks traveling solo to Florence and Venice in 2006 and had such a wonderful time that I spent 3 weeks traveling solo to Rome and other cities in Italy earlier in this year. I think a trip to Rome, Florence and Venice is a great introduction to Italy. I personally would not like to be a part of a tour group because I enjoy planning my own schedule and seeing the sights I want to see.

If you decide not to go by yourself, consider taking your daughter, sister or friend.

It would be easy enough to fly into Rome, visit for 4-5 days, train to Florence for another 3 or so days, train to Venice for another 2-3 days, and fly home from Venice.

You can book the flights, hotels and trains yourself. You can take small-group walking tours in each location (or not), and most sights are walkable from a central location.

There are many people on this board who can steer you to moderately priced, centrally located, nice hotels in each city.

April is not the heighth of tourist season. If there are a lot of tourists at times at specific points, it is easy enough to move away to another area. We went to Venice in September - the crowds were thickest at San Marco and Rialto. We didn't stay by either of those locations. We walked in a loop (over a day and a half) from Campo San Barnaba (Dorsoduro) by the Friari church, toward Rialto, across the Grand Canal, through San Marco and across Accademia to Campo San Barnaba again. Some squares were nearly empty, and there were many shops and restaurants to choose from that were nowhere near San Marco.

Same for Rome - the great thing I found out was that the places with the longest lines (also true in Venice) had advance reservations or passes that let you go to the front of said line and straight in. The Roman Forum was the only place we felt like cattle, as there are only a couple of paths you can take until it 'opens up' more.

We also have a habit of stopping our sightseeing around 3-4pm and taking a cheapo tablecloth, some wine/beer and snacks to a nice park to just relax and people-watch for a while.

I don't think it's a good idea to rent a car if everyone is not geared up (no pun intended) for that, because (while rewarding)it can be very frustrating at times. Trains are a great way to travel, especially between the main cities.

It helps to agree that everyone (or both of you) do not have to go see everything on the 'to do' list. If hubby gets tired, cranky or disinterested, let him return to the hotel for a rest or find a local bar to sit and have a drink or just find his own entertainment for a while. Allowing each other some space is a good thing when you're spending 24/7 in close quarters for a couple weeks.

We find that 11-day trips fit our temperaments and work schedules well - that's 2 flight days and 9 "hotel nights" as I'm fond of calling them. You can take two weeks off from work but have a couple days in front and in back to prepare and then rest up afterwards.

You know, there is nothing wrong with taking separate vacations. Do you own things then come back and compare notes.

What does he like? Instead of trying to convince him to go along with you, tell him to plan a trip for himself. To make an adventure for himself. Come up with something exciting and different, maybe a trip to Alaska for fishing or Costa Rica for the rain forest.

Then you plan your trip to fit your needs. I'm sure both of you each have a friend or two that would like to share your adventure.

You haven't described what you think your husband might like about a trip to Italy. What will he enjoy doing/seeing in the places you've mentioned? Are you going to have to drag him to museums, churches, ancient ruins, in and out (= up and down) hill towns, for example. If this really isn't his thing, you're setting yourself up for a disappointing trip. Your goal should be to make Italy one of his favorite places so that he'll want to return.

Is he going to be happy moving to another hotel, another city every three or four days, or would he rather be parked in one place for several days?

If he's not into the bustle and traffic (people and cars) of big cities, perhaps you should plan a trip more weighted to smaller towns. But if he's "adamant" about not driving, then you'll need to select your base town(s) with public transportation in mind.

Give us more information about what he would enjoy, and we can make some recommendations.

but., I think you had better have a discussion with your husband and decide if this trip is even worth it. I can't imagine going with someone, no matter who, who is reluctant.

As noted above, find out what he wants to do since he is going too. If he can't come up with anything, then, well, good luck.

Really, in that case I would just go to one or two cities, take the train in between them and not try to see or do too much. Just go to cafes and lightly sightsee.

I left my reluctant travel partner home and went to Italy by myself last spring for 3 weeks. I was mostly alone though I did rendezvous with friends for a day or two at various points. Fabulous trip, only me to worry about, I LOVE traveling alone and I do it often!

Venice is a must, in my opinion. And a tour sounds excrutiating, LOL. Italy is easy to navigate alone, IMO.

Ummm...this may seem too obvious, but if your husband "loves cruises" and is reluctant to do other kinds of travel, why not just do a Mediterranean cruise that features Italy?

Wow - so many quick answers. Now mine. I don't see myself traveling solo in Italy. Some people are good at that - I don't think that is for me. If I was to go alone, I would probably choose to go with OAT or Rick Steves, so that I wasn't alone alone.

It's a funny thing. I thought I was planning a trip we both wanted to do. Last year, my mom - knowing that I was itching to start traveling - asked us each separately where we would like to go. We both answered 'Italy'. The deal was that when he retired, we would go. He retired in June - now works part time, as do I. So I started planning, but my enthusiasm has not been contagious.

I did think of giving up on a land trip, but the Mediterranean cruises don't really get started until late April and May, and I have to be back on the east coast to get our daughter from college by April 30, so they really don't fit the bill. I suppose I could give up on the April trip and do an October cruise, but I really don't want to. And having been on many cruises, I know that I will see nothing in depth. That might work for Ocho Rios, but I really wanted to see more of Italy than a few hours per port stop.

Of all the things I have mentioned to my husband, the one that perked him up was a day trip from Florence with Accidental Tourist, including a cooking lesson and meal at a farmhouse in Tuscany. We both loved the sound of that day trip.

I expect that we will both enjoy the museums - but not an overdose of them. I remember that when we were in Paris, we really didn't care for the Louvre - we went in, saw the Mona Lisa and a few other things and then left. But we loved the impressionist museum, which was smaller and eminently 'doable', and we spent hours at the Rodin museum. That is how we are now too. Small bites work better. I also expect to enjoy ancient Rome, in the hands of a competent private or small group tour guide. My plan was to do 1/2 days of touring, and then the rest of the day would be more casual strolling, eating, hopefully some relaxing. No way would I be planning the Collosseum (sp?)in the morning and the Vatican in the afternoon.
I really don't want to do just a 9 day trip. I'd prefer at least 12 nights, and am willing to go to 15. The overseas travel itself will be stressful (and costly), and having 2 weeks will make it more worthwhile. I thought that by adding a more serene and scenic, less museum/ancient ruin location, it would add some relaxation to the trip, and would be something my husband might look forward to. That was why I liked the travel agent's Rome, Florence, Tuscan Hills suggestion. But a beautiful view from a hotel room in Positano or Varenna, or somewhere on Cinque Terre (which I know very little about) would do fine - if it is not too hard to get there and move around there.

Re the cities and their order - I have to check the flights. I want to do only non-stop travel, especially to ease the trip for DH. So that means Delta and Alitalia, I believe. And I've heard that the flights leaving Venice are at an ungodly early morning hour, so if Venice is an anchor of the trip, it would have to be first, not last. Nobody flies nonstop in and out of Naples, so that is out. Milan is a possibility.

Some questions I need answers to are:
Is April too early - as in too cold - to do several days on the Amalfi Coast or Northern Lakes?

Is there any validity to my husband's concerns about mold, mildew and mosquitoes in Venice?

My husband and I were in Venice in June, and I don't think we encountered one mosquito (brought repellent and never pulled it out), and I can't recall one finding of mold, at all, ever. We were in Provence as well, and it was chilly in June, so I would imagine it would be chilly in April (especially the Northern lakes). However, the further south you go (Amalfi Coast), the warmer it gets. We drove in Provence with no problems at all. It's like driving in the country - beautiful and you can go as slow as you want, even though my husband kept up with all the locals. But we came across many slow drivers that the locals would just go around. I wouldn't try to drive on the Amalfi coast as it is narrow and windy, or in any of the big cities, but the country is easy. Most people speak English, we found, unless you get into some of the very small towns that don't see a lot of tourists.

I can see how you'd want to do such a wonderful trip with your husband. I think you have a good idea when you say to take small bites, and take time to relax. My husband and I wish we would have taken a bit more time to relax! Good luck in planning this trip. You'll have a good time!

We were in Venice in October and I don't notice any mold or mildew and didn't see a mosquito. Somewhere I remember reading about odor from the canals but in our two trips there (one in June 2004 and one this past October), I didn't notice any odors at all.

There were, however, lots of tourists.

Debbie

Just a quick response re: Venice. I would NOT rely on your young son's description of Venice. It can be a very romantic city/town, and would not be appreciated by the very young.
I remember sitting in St. Mark's Square, listening to the competing bands, having a sparkling water or a glass of wine and not believing that I was actually enjoying this amazing view.
Look at going to some of the small towns in Italy. For me that is where you really experience Italy. Rent a car with a GPS and see ITALY.

We flew home from Venice on Delta, precisely because they have an afternoon flight (1:30ish) so it was not stressful to depart from there.
In Sept, no mosquitoes or mold either. If there was to be 'canal odor' it would be in summer and at low tides. Didn't notice any odors either.

If you're in Venice long enough you can take the vaporetto across the lagoon to Burano, a calm but picturesque village with painted houses.
http://travel.webshots.com/album/555292625fKmunW
(lovely photos but not mine)

I'll echo the response re Venice. Our last several visits there were in October, and that time of year, the weather is mild, and we experienced no smells or mosquitos. There's probably mold (how can there not be), but I didn't see or smell (?) any.

It sounds like your husband likes smaller places and doesn't like crowds. Venice can be crowded, and there are a lot of tourists. But the further you get from San Marco, the fewer tourists crowds there are. Stay in the neighborhoods of Dorsoduro or Cannaregio. We've stayed in the Cannaregio several times. It's much more residential, especially if you wander off on side streets and alleys. On our last trip, we made a point of visiting some interesting churches in the more residential areas, and while there were a handful of tourists in those churches, the few other people on the streets were people who lived there. Don't skip San Marco, though - the piazza is magnificent! Go late in the evening and enjoy the orchestras playing there, or early in the morning.

Focus on staying in less touristy areas in the other cities, as well. On our last visit to Rome, we stayed at a small hotel, rather like a B&B, that was 1 1/2 blocks from popular and beautiful Piazza Navona. But the street we were on was very quiet, with many small antique shops.

Another tip I learned, from friends who recently made their first trip to Italy. The husband was complaining how loud Rome is. It can be, but if you focus your time and lodging in the pedestrian areas (no cars in those areas, except for cabs, residents and deliveries), then it's much quieter. (They were staying on a busy, car-filled street.)

Re travel agents, I'm sure there are very good ones out there. But on the trip our friends took, 2 of their 4 hotels were in out-of-the-way locations, where it took them quite some time to get to the main sites, or to people-watch. And my parent had a similar experience, where a travel agent found them a hotel way in the middle of nowhere. Lesson is, even if a travel agent finds your lodging (or whatever), check it yourself, to make sure it fits your needs and interests.

Also, given what sounds like your husband's interest in quieter spots, really explore the car rental option. What are his concerns about driving in a country where you don't speak the language (and who would do the driving - you or him?)? The next time you're driving at home, notice how many signs are symbols, and how many are place names. He may realize that knowing the language is not so critical when driving. With a car, you could stay in a small town in Tuscany, and relax at a much slower pace. (There are just as many signs in foreign languages in a train station.) And not to knock train travel; we travel by train when it makes sense to do so. But I find train travel can be stressful too. With a car, if you're running late, you just get a later start on the day. With trains, if you're taking one that doesn't run frequently, then you need to be sure you leave extra time. Not a big deal, but just pointing out that train vs. car is just sometimes a matter of personal preference.

On liking smaller doses of art - I can relate. While I love the Louvre and the Musee d'Orsay and the like, I really enjoy the smaller museums much more. They tend to be more individual, and often in interesting and historic buildings. So on your visit, seek those out. Offhand, I can recall Casa Buonarotti in Florence and the National Museum of Rome (in Rome of course). Churches are great, to me, because except for St. Peter's, none are as big as the big museums, so you get your art and history in a more limited amount.

Do consider a trip that's shorter. If part of his reluctance (admitted or otherwise) is just being out of his comfort zone, a smaller dose, time-wise, might be a better way to start what you hope will be a lifetime of foreign travel together.

Luckily, DH and I both LOVE to travel. But there was a time, 15 or so years ago, where he had no interest in visiting France. But I persuaded him to go on a short trip to Paris and the Loire Valley, and he changed his mind. So it can happen; but try to tailor this trip to your husband's fears and concerns, and likes, to make it so pleasant that he'll want to return!

If you husband does not want to rent a car, and you are unable to convince him otherwise then don't. No one says you have to go into the Tuscan countryside for this trip.

Why not just do the "Big 3"? Fly into Venice, spend 3-4 days, take the train to Florence for 4 days, then then on to Rome, another 4-5 days? Fly home from Rome. There are certainly non-stop flights from Rome to JFK. It's the easiest way to go.

Definitely plan on doing those things for which your husband has expressed interest like the day trip from Florence with cooking class. In Rome you can arrange for a private guide or go on one of the more upscale, smaller tours like Context. Take your time. Have a coffee or a glass of wine. Rest. Relax. It will be lovely.

In the end, you need to have an honest heart to heart with your husband. You certainly don't want to "drag" him on this trip. Find out what his hesitation and fears are and see if you can alleviate some of them before you go.

There is the possibility of basing in Siena where a car is not necessary and hiring a car/driver for a day or two to tour the countryside. Unlike an organized tour, you can stop where you want and spend as much time as you want. Some friends of mine based in Lucca and hired a driver for the entire week and they loved every minute of it, making friends with the guy who drove them around. They saw some things in Italy not usually available to tourists.

Your husband indicated an interest in a cooking class -- the food in Tuscany is so wonderful. Another thing to look into is a hot air balloon ride.

Venice is so beautiful--I hope you keep it on your list. Different people have different experiences. Going in the spring and wandering away from the main tourist areas can bring you memories to last a lifetime.

One thing I will recommend is to pick just a few places and not move around a lot. It's the unpacking, repacking and moving about that can add stress to any trip.

Hi

I'm not sure that I have any good advice when it comes to convincing him. But Italy is a great destination and my wife and I have been there on three independent trips: Milan/Venice, Rome and this summer Florence/Tuscany. On the last trip we stayed in the city first and then we picked up a rental car and drove around the Chianti area and it was beautiful. I have posted some trip reports that you might find useful. Here is a trip report from Rome with pictures and links: http://gardkarlsen.com/rome_italy.htm

And here is the Florence trip report: http://gardkarlsen.com/florence_italy_travelogue.htm

Good luck in trying to convince him

Regards
Gard
http://gardkarlsen.com - trip reports and pictures