Judy

Hello all, I just got back from a flight from hell on Delta, but that is another story! <BR> When seated next to a stranger on a plane, do you converse? Start to read a book? Give off body English, that says "Don't bother me, I'm thinking". Smile, and start a discourse on life? Take a clue from his/her demeaner? I always think about this whenever I fly......what to do? what to do? <BR>Does anyone else feel this way? <BR>Judy :-0

s.fowler

When I travel alone I am usually off season when there is a little more space and a good possibility of an empty seat next to you. But in general I mind my own business unless I somehow discover that the person next to me is interesting. I have met a person who detects landmines in Kosovo, a journalist with the China Sun paper in Hong Kong as well as other interesting folks. However I usually eat the "meal" and then go to sleep. In general I feel no obligation to the person next to me other than to be civil, to not encroach on their space and to get up for them when they need to use the facilities. [I am an aisle seat JUNKIE -- control issues I suppose -- but works for me.]

brian

I really hate strangers chatting to me on a plane. Particularly really long flights that are full and you know you are going to be trapped. My real nightmare is the grandmothers who insist on getting all their photos of their grandchildren out and giving you life stories of their whole families. Sorry, but I just like my own space.

Pat

I am w/ Brian. I like to read, contemplate my trip, and rest. I don't mind exchanging a few polite words, but I am not interested in lengthy conversations. <BR> <BR>BTW, we are flying Delta in a few weeks. (First time w/ Delta.) Why was your trip "from hell?" <BR> <BR>Pat

Judy

Pat: the flight itself was atypical airline flight, BUT I was supposed to leave at 1:15 pm. I did not land in Atlanta till 1:05AM. I knew it was going to be awful when they bussed us from Harrisburg to Baltimore because of a cancelled flight in Hbg. Two cancelled flights later, we pushed off from Baltimore at 11:00pm! What a horror story,,,, I would not wish this flight on my worse enemy! <BR>FYI, Judy

Lisa

Judy, I had the exact same thoughts while on a recent flight and would be very interested to know others responses. <BR> <BR> I am pretty much of the Sally Fowler school of flight etiquette. I usually do not inititate conversation other than a smile, a hello and a nod and usually wait for others to initiate conversation if they want. I always wonder if they are waiting for ME to initiate conversation. <BR> <BR>I don't mind chatting to others but never start the conversation unless I am sitting next to a child (other than my own). I always try to make them feel at ease. Many times, even those who are flying unaccompanied and are supposed to be in the care of airline personnnel are left to themselves for substantial lengths of time. Of course, I am always aware of not being too forward but as I always have my own kids with me too, things are usually not uncomfortable. <BR> <BR> On a flight home from Israel, I sat next to an obviously developmentally delayed 22 year old boy who was flying on his own and who could barely do the rudimentary tasks. I was happy to help him with every aspect of his flight as the airline personnel (Continental airways) never came near him. He could not fill in his customs or immigration forms. I also undertook to get him to his connecting flight onto LA. I had asked the airlines if there was anyone who could help him but as he was not officially listed as "flying unaccompanied", they would not help him at all.I wonder how he would have managed if there was no kindly soul next to him to help.

elvira

Sometimes I'm in a chatty mood, sometimes I'm not. If I'm feeling chatty, I'll say something sort of benign to my seatmate; if I get a monsyllabic response, I figure they're in a non-chatty mood, so I open up my book and read, with no hard feelings. If I'm not feeling chatty, I put on the headphones, open my book - or put on the sleeping gear - and respond in monosyllables to my seatmate's overtures. <BR> <BR>I've had some interesting conversations (one guy had lived in Morocco for a few years - and that's where we were heading in just a few months, so it was quite fortuitous) but never had my ear bent (those headphones are such a good bennie, even if I don't listen to anything).

s

Judy, <BR>Usually I only make quick observations if something unusual is happening -- a long delay or a funny comment by the stewardess, etc. <BR> <BR>However, for my last trip over, I was trying to duplicate the upgraded-bc treatment and so brought along some champagne (in a thermos) and some deluxe nuts to nibble on while other passengers were loading. I shared the champagne and the nuts. It was a nice and cordial ice-breaker, but, thankfully, we still did not treat each other like long-lost cousins. It was just nice and friendly. <BR> <BR>s

Cindy

Usually, I just keep to myself and fall asleep. I get a window seat and konk out the minute we take off, and sometimes before. <BR> <BR>When I do have a conversation, it is usually memorable. The best was when I sat next to a (young, handsome, MARRIED) urologist. Time sure flies when you spend it chatting about the human urological tract. I learned plenty on that flight. <BR> <BR>Now, I usually have the kids, and I spend the whole flight keeping them under control.

m

I usually say nothing. However, I will offer to help someone fill out their immigration forms if it looks like they are at a loss.

Cass

I think it's equally rude to assume that being seat mates means you are required to have a long conversation _and_ to ignore all pleasantries as if offended by having to share space with the person next to you. <BR> <BR>I say hello and smile, acknowledge the need to get settled (ie., sort out whose seat belt strap is whose, help with carryon, etc.), but when the plane starts rolling down the runway, my concentration goes inward just to cope with the tension! And as soon as possible, I put on the earphones and open a book or magazine. That's usually all it takes to signal that I'm not in cocktail-party chatter mode. <BR> <BR>If it's a smooth, long flight and I can tell from my seatmate's reading material that we have something unusual in common, I may chat. Similarly, if there's a long delay on the tarmac, I am willing to chat to deal with that. <BR> <BR>If someone insists on trying to get a long conversation going, I may have to say, truthfully, "I'm sorry, I'm not a good flyer. I don't mean to be rude, but I have to look out the window and listen to my music or else I get ill." <BR> <BR>For completely unnecessary rudeness on this point, though, I remember a woman who was a high government mucky-muck traveling with her even higher m-m boss -- and it turned out, having a high-altitude affair with him, a man I knew to be married to someone else. I said good morning to her and asked if she wanted my newspaper. She scowled and turned her back. A few minutes later, when I had to ask to pull my purse strap out from under her spiky high heel, she snapped "Oh for god's sake!" and looked like she was ready to call the attendant. I was "good" about ignoring the make-out session that followed and tried not to be grossed out when they were both gone to the lav for 20 minutes. <BR> <BR>If I hadn't belonged to the same party she and lover did, I might have called the newspapers when we disembarked, esp. since they went through amazing contortions to pretend they just ran into each other for the first time in baggage claim! <BR> <BR>Let that be a lesson for politesse!

Cass

Two points of clarification: we were in United "Economy Plus" which was still a 3-3 configuration on this flight, so I was in window-bulkhead and the two of them next to me. She was clearly p.o.'d that First Class was full. <BR> <BR>And no, there were no Clintons or Kennedys involved.

Jon

Welcome home, Judy. <BR> <BR>I'll gladly converse on shorter flights...4 hours or less. But on international trips I usually try to get in a "hello" before takeoff then open a book. I don't want to seem rude, but also don't want to be deprived of the nap time that makes the flight go so much faster. <BR> <BR>I just did a solo trip to Hong Kong (met friends there) and the total travel time on the way there was almost 31 hours (including 5.5 hour layover in Tokyo). My goal was to sleep every minute I could, and had I "opened the conversation gates" with my neighbors early in the flight I may have been deprived some much-needed sleep. <BR> <BR>I'm much more open to meeting people during train travel as it seems a much more casual environment. <BR> <BR>When it comes to long flights, I just find that polite anonymity is the best policy for me. Unless, of course, I'm stuck sitting next to one of those supermodel types who's wearing a little... <BR> <BR>j.