Dr. Betty

god forbid... are you saying you don't need us anymore? you have it all figured out? did we help you in any way shape or form? Is this all there is? Are we done for? Can we at least agree that this thread is worthy of a time capsule? <BR> <BR>My last comment: Michael mm; Your eloquence is magnificent! <BR> <BR>Dr. Betty aka Auntie Deluvian

Art

I haven't been able to help myself. I keep seeing this thread and am drawn to it just to see what everyone has to say. If Guy is earnest, I can appreciate his situation. I am certainly no Casanova, but I have met woman on each of my trips except my latest one when I had my sister with me. This was because I usually take a city tour when I arrive in a new city. This way I meet other travelers and we have some things in common. This is for company as it is sometimes more enjoyable to experience some things with company. However I also enjoy my travels by myself. If however I were traveling on business and had no time for city tours, I MIGHT look for someone of quality that I could enjoy shows, museums etc with. I certainly would not do so on this forum though as so many people seem to be so judgmental and can't wait to lambaste someone. Enough, I hope that this will finally die and can get back to travel questions and answers. <BR>Arthur Hussey

Linda

Dear Guy, <BR> <BR>I feel as though I should apologize on behalf of kind Fodorites everywhere. Your post/request did not offend me but rather impressed me. I thought it was very commendable of you to ask not to be alone. <BR> <BR>My interpretation (sp?) of your use of "quality" meant exactly what your second-to-last sentence of your first post stated. The degrading "prostitute" comments were unwarranted and just plain mean. The person who recommended this site to you has obviously not visited for some time. The helpful and informative posts that were abdundant here have now (sadly) been on a steady decline. <BR>I'm sure if Guy or any other man just wanted to "get horizontal", he would "flash his cash" and NOT ask the people at Fodors. <BR> <BR>I think most ladies posses the knowledge that proper protocal for a "blind date" is to meet in a a public place. Converse over a walk in the park or museum and within a very short span of time, you will know if this person is a gentlemen. If not, a simple thankyouverymuchnicemeetingyou will suffice as you depart. <BR> <BR>Guy, I wish you the best of luck and I hope your trip is an enjoyable one. I've spent many a vacation time alone and wish that I had your self-confidence. <BR> <BR>Linda <BR> <BR>p.s. Be honest fellow Fodorites, at one time or another, haven't you secretly wished you could ask Navigator Bob, Elvira or the Fowlers (sorry if I've forgotten any of the best of the bunch) to meet YOU on your trip? <BR> <BR>BOB the Navigator is tops in my book. He's just to cool for words. <BR> <BR> <BR>If were a local living in said areas, I would not have a problem showing you my town's sights. <BR>

Guy

I think we have pretty well covered the bases here wrt the original posting. I've learned a lot from this, but most of it is related to the motives of the respondents. I found that there are some distinct types of respondents. <BR>I see at least 3 clear categories of response and I'd like to ask you about your impressions of this. The first group, "the Helpers", have the intent to provide a thoughtful reply. The the help can have many purposes, but it is always positive and sinceree. I especially appreciate Helpers that disagree with me, but try to correct me in a kind way. It seems clear to me that Helpers are a balance of men and women. The second group, the Needy, are compelled to attack. I'll grant that I offered a few glaring openings for these guys, but these people differ in that they open the posting already looking to attack. The third group is harder to put a name on. I'll call them the Qualifiers. It seems they seek to referee, to frame. They often commment on the comments, playing some sort of third party role. <BR>If I had my druthers, I'd ask the Helpers to hang in there, because there used to be many more of them and they are on the decline. As to the Needy, they need to ask themselves why they have so much anger and take into consideration that their "contribution" damages far more than this site; they're doing it in the rest of their lives as well. <BR>I think a shrink could have a good time here. There's a doctoral paper waiting to be written on this subject.

Rex

Well, of course, this IS why we embrace Dr. Betty here (she is an actual clinical psychologist). <BR> <BR>And it's all the more fun that she is indistinguishable from the rest of her "clients" (us), about half the time! <BR> <BR>

Dr. Betty

Rex, thanks for the embrace but I am not a Ph.D clinical psychologist. I am a licensed psychotherapist with an M.A. If I ever do go for the next stage of academia, I most certainly would want to write a thesis on group process here. <BR>It occured to me yesterday (walking the dog, of course) how a thread becomes communal property and respondents feel a sense of "ownership" with an issue or opinion. This thread has caused some profound reflection and generated some of the most exquisitely eloquent passages I have seen in a long time. It is sprinkled with some pepper spray, but that's to be expected. <BR> <BR>Dr. Betty aka Auntie Deluvian <BR>(I'm thinking of starting my own T.V. show called "Primal Time T.V." You're all invited to be guest speakers). <BR> <BR>

xxx

Would this be the thread you were talking about, Larry? <BR> <BR>Best wishes, <BR> <BR>...the detective... or maybe the detected... <BR> <BR>or maybe just a copycat... <BR>

Guy

I still hope someone will comment on my last post from 8:14 this morning. I'm curious as to how you would categorize the types of respondents here, which I have classified as Helpers, Needy, and Qualifiers. <BR>

One of a Kind

Sure, I'll comment. I thought your attempt to classify people was kind of dumb.

anon

I've followed this thread on and off for the past few days. When I have friends / acquaintences visit me in NYC I'm invariably asked where they can go to meet someone. I usually ask in return - "what are you into? - what are you looking for?" I've suggested a wide range of places - from the Algonquin to the Royalton to the Marriot Marquis (if i'm in a bad mood) to some very seedy trashy places. I'm not going to send someone to the Grand SoHo to talk twith soho-hipsters when they're more interested in talking (maybe more than just talking) to hustlers. Is it so wrong to be honest with what one is looking for? While I may be projecting here - I notice a prejudice against singles. Some posters seem to think that singles should hang out in the vegtable section of a supermarket - or if you're single you must be a class A loser. I'm not comfortable with the "looking for love" section in magazines - but some people are - who am I to chastise them for being so exact in what they want?

dirtymind

Until now I have refrained from contributing to this posting but now I can save us all and bring us to the 70th posting, rather than leaving it at 69. <BR>

SharonM

(I'm really sorry, dirtymind, because I thought your contribution very graceful, but I'm going to have to move this thread on up to #71. <BR>Hope that's good feng shui...) <BR> <BR>Actually, I've been losing sleep over Guy's "theory". <BR> <BR>Really. <BR> <BR>I've decided I'm a mix. (a mutt?) <BR>Is there an E-Mode test to take? <BR> <BR>(Really. It's only as bad as trying to decide if you're a Winter or a Summer... color-wise...)

color

Winter/Summer color classifications are waaay 70's. Get it? 70's.

xxx

Give Sharon a break - - she is trying to at least get into the 90's - - she just found out what "bandwidth" is last month. <BR> <BR>She's love-starved (hoping to cash in on "ring in tow" guy, if he loses interest in his fiancee) and color-coordinated, but her day isn't really ALL bad. On another thread, "nancyt" became the newest victim of the anti-commercial vigilantes, so (for today)the heat is off of Sharon (and others)for her career in the "industry" (which is NOT prohibited here). <BR> <BR>We love ya, Sharon - - keep hanging in there with the rest of us addicts. <BR> <BR>Best wishes, <BR> <BR>me

FodorsAttack Dog

Guy, as far as I can see you've nailed it. You could maybe subdivide into one more category: the "I am sooo cool" or self-congratulatory group. They know who they are because they seem to recognize each other by name and maintain a running conversation based on a couple of key points: "Yawn, I am a soooo experienced traveller and I will deign to respond to you, you tourist you." They have not noted or don't care to notice that it is only themselves that are congratulating each other. Maybe I'd call them the "Mutual Admiration Society".

gluck

Guy, it's an interesting categorization, especially since it resonates with your 'problem.' Human relationships are as complex as human beings themselves; they sometimes defy neat and easy categorization. Look at how much trouble you had trying to describe just what it is you were looking for. <BR> <BR>To return to your original topic, I think you are narrowing your options too quickly. To meet interesting compatible people in a genuine way takes time. Ideally, you need to network, as you discovered. It is often the case that we meet someone through knowing their auntie or their brother or their insurance salesman or whoever. <BR> <BR>That is why I wonder why you narrowed down your selection so quickly to 'female' and, perhaps a little redundantly (not to mention a little obtusely) "enjoys being with men." You might start off by just trying to meet people, period. In seeking to meet women, it might not be such a bad idea to try and meet their families and/or friends first. This is particularly true when crossing cultural barriers. <BR> <BR>I understand your plea that you will give reassurances that you can be trusted, but trust has to be earned. Complicated, isn't it?

Jeannie

Guy, you're right about the types, though I wouldn't say it as you do. Some people just find the internet to be a place where they can say what they'd never dare to say face to face. They're cowards and they can play their coward games here by being rude, impolite, and critical.

getalife

This is so done, give it a rest, because we don't care! Get back to the real travel questions would you!

Annette

Hey, Get-a-life, <BR>I think you fit right in to recent comments. Please take your own advice and go elsewhere if this troubles you so. <BR>To others: <BR>I share recent observations and note that since they've been made some of the trouble-makers have backed off. They'd probably say they were bored, I'd say that a few of them have sense enough to be embarassed and not show their "wares".

diogenes

Did it ever occur to any of you people that Guy is a liar who is indeed looking for some easy action? Business professional, well-educated, alone in Paris on business, right. Sometimes if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it just might be a duck. His personal profile on AOL describes himself as a lifeguard who lives in Florida with hobbies of weight-lifting and swimming (except he could not spell swimming, that was the most difficult word in his profile).