This morning I received my periodic e-mail from vacations-to-go cruise broker (which I recommend btw). There was a reference to some article written about a woman somewhere that drives a 6 year-old car so she can splurge on cruises. My response to this was "why is this newsworthy?" I thought everyone did this. It got me to thinking about people's values concerning travel experiences verses buying things. I guess the reason it sounds perfectly normal to me to sacrifice new cars, clothes, latest electronic stuff, etc., in favor of going somewhere is that I do it. I drive a 10 year old Altima and last summer spent over a thousand dollars on a dinner in Venice for 8. Hell the tip was $250! I have never thought about this very much. I guess the question I have is Do you guys scrimp on everyday stuff (like above) in favor of going to some incredible place for a couple of weeks - knowing that when you return all you will have is the memory of it? Or am I and that lady the only two? I'm obviously not talking about you rich dudes that do both. As you can tell - its a slow day at work!!
Shrink

We all priortize differently, so it would be difficult to bundle everyone into only 4 classes - those who scrimp on things to travel, those who scrimp on travel to buy things, those with enough money to do both, and those with not enough money to do either.

We live in a very small house (with a relatively small mortgage payment therefore) and though we bought our cars new will drive them for several years before replacing them. We love to travel both at home (US) and abroad, but would not spend that kind of money on dinner, as food in restaurants is not a high priority for us. We splurge on a few things that many might find ridiculous (season tickets to our favorite college football team, for example) and save elsewhere. Our primary money focus seems to be on saving for the future, so that we can retire earlier than average and still live a nice life once we've done it.

So, most people spend in areas that are most important to them. There are some, however, who just don't get it. They drive fancy new cars and buy fancy big houses and then complain that they can't afford to travel. It's all about picking and choosing what matters most. Most of us can't have it all.

I do drive a 11-year-old car, and of course the money that otherwise would have gone to car payments (and higher insurance etc.) goes to travel instead. But I don't consider it scrimping. The car works fine, and gets me where I'm going, so from my perspective, a fancy new one could do no better. Likewise, my wardrobe is quite modest.

This sort of non-consumerism can lead neighbors to assume you're broke, and can lead headmasters of private schools to be surprised when you don't apply for financial aid. It was quite fun to see the look on his face when I told him, no I didn't need help, indeed I had paid cash for my house so if I neded funds I could get a home equity line.

we just traded in our 10 year old blazer only because it had 160 thou miles on it and the inspector said it would cost $4000 before it could pass (someone we trusted) - so we bought a new car - but I hated it. Our other car just turned 6 and I intend to keep it awhile. I also am not a shoe person like many women seem to be, don't really care about clothes other than the suits I have to wear to work, don't go out much, love garage sales and any sales in general but travels to three or four places a year at least - all people have their choices.

I have no use for jewelry, expensive clothes, fancy cars, or furniture.
Education and travel...now those two things CAN significantly improve the quality of life for myself and my family. I have no trouble spending 5 grand for everyone in the house for airfare to Europe. But there is NO WAY I'm spending that kind of money on a big screen TV and surround sound.

I have a 13 yr-old car - almost 14.

>last summer spent over a thousand dollars on a dinner in Venice for 8<

I am definitely not in that league.
Hope it was good.

Of course, this kind of thing get discussed on forums such as this, and there are many of us who live in small houses, don't replace furniture, drive old cars, don't wear jewelery or expensive clothes.

BUT what really surprises me is the number of people I meet when traveling who are wearing expensive jewels and clothing, have two homes, drive new cars, etc. I don't think that there are all that many of us, other than the die-hard travel lovers who haunt places like this board and who are really committed to travel, who prioritize in order to go to Europe regularly.

Just about no one I know in my day to day life drives a 13 year old car so that they can go to Europe twice a year. And just about everyone I meet while traveling is someone who doesn't live in a small house in a city neighborhood, who doesn't do this and that so that they can travel.


Am I wrong? Who do you all meet out there? I seem to meet an awful lot of rich folks on my travels to Europe.

You CAN have it all....just not all at the same time. LOL Everyone has their own values and different things are important to different people. I just find the older I get, the less clutter I want in my life and "stuff" doesn't interest me that much. Now, don't get me wrong..I LOVE to shop, but I find myself being much more discriminating in my purchases and what I buy I need or is actually useful..well, at least most of the time. There was a time in my life when I had almost 200 pair of shoes and I could find every pair instantly. I know, I can hardly believe it myself. Well, I just don't feel the need to do that anymore..now it's LESS is more. I wouldn't spend 1,000 on a dinner either but don't criticize those that do..we all deserve some pleasures that we work hard for, and each person picks what pleases them. I'd rather go to Paris then have a new car every year.

Oh yea...I'd rather go to Paris than drive a new car with or without "Huge Grant".

Well if you stay in 2 star hotels you'll meet more people who aren't rich but love to travel. I drive 10 and 14 year old cars and go to Europe twice a year. I would never buy a new car if it meant I'd have to sacrifice a trip (and it would, so when my current cars do die, they'll be replaced by slighly newer used cars). I also don't stay in luxury hotels because even though I could actually afford to do it once in a while, it would cut down on the number of trips I can take. I'd rather have more total days to travel and do it more modestly.

Everyone has their own values and priorities. But I've tried to impart my views on my own kids and for example, my daughter choose to attend the State University rather than a private college and in exchange we told her she could study abroad as much as possible. She is now planning her second study abroad experience (London, last year was Paris) and says these experiences are much more valuable than anything she thinks she could have gotten by going to a more expensive private college.

I actually think there are lots of people like us out there.

Thanx guys for your responses. Admittedly, I rarely (well actually only once) have spent 1K+ on dinner. That was a wedding dinner with quite a few extras and was at Antico Martini in Venice. My point was that I am perfectly capable of spending a lot on an experience, but like some of you above, DREAD when I have to get another car because I consider it such a waste. Ditto with latest electronics because it will be obsolete in 90 days. At least Im not alone.

My hotel costs average about $150 per night. Dinner is usually about $35 per person, lunches are closer to $15 per person or sometimes cheaper if eating a doner kebab or pizza from an outdoor market.
The ONLY time we consider using a taxi is upon arrival in a seriously jet-lagged state. Otherwise, its public transportation all the way.

I save on everything every day so I have enough money to go on vacation. This is my life, and this is my choice how to live it.

And I beat you all - my "car" expenses are $45 for a monthly fast pass, thanks to the excellent San Francisco public transportation.

And I always spend more while on vacations - restaurants, souvenirs, fancy foods and cosmetics to bring back.

As a single person, I tutored to earn extra money (being a teacher, I felt I had to supplement my income!), didn't spend wildly and kept my cars for a looong time. This allowed me to sock money away for the future and to go on one big international trip (for around 3 wks at a time) and several short domestic trips/year. Having everything I want has never been an option but I'm fine with that because I feel I appreciate all that I have.

I recently got married (and shortly thereafter pregnant) and though I don't want to cut down on my traveling, it's gonna happen for a while anyway. My husband loves to travel too but we've agreed that taking care of our family comes first--and that doesn't mean living in a house beyond our means and buying new cars every 2-3 yrs. (as he did in his single days!) It's saving for us, saving for the kid's college and all those grown up things!

Guess I'll just have to get my travel fix through all of you!!

One, I thought the same 28 years ago... Trust me, you won't stop vacationing, just hold off travels. It will be a shorter trip to a lake, to a park, then further and longer. And more suitcases. And more fun to share it all with you little "boss". You will be surprised how early they start to understand where they want to go.

Faina, your transportation cost in SF makes me envious because here in Vacaville a car is a must.
But guess I need to remember housing cost here are so much lower.
There is no winning is there.
I buy a new car when I need one however I keep each car for ages. Replaced the 1989 Jeep for a Toyota Rav in 2001 and will drive it until it is no longer driveable.
When one is older one generally has the "stuff" one wants (furniture, clothes, jewelery, electronics, kitchen items etc." so it is a lot easier to not spend a lot every month compared to the young family starting out.
Having said that however I still get comments from friends who live alone or with just their spouse in 3000 Sq ft. plus houses, drive cars replaced every two years, dine out about 4 to 5 times a week that "I don't know how you do it, traveleing cost so much money!".
Oh sigh.
Each one of us decides where we want to spend our money. Than when we make that decision don't whine because someone else loves to travel, right??

I'm a "voluntary simplicity" gal myself. I have an apartment, a car, a computer , and I can travel to England when I really want to. But there's one aspect to this conversation that has only been touched on, ie, "living beyond your means." There are an awful lot of people living in large homes, driving expensive cars, and spending lots of money on luxuries. And how do they do it? *Credit cards*! Unless you have access to their bank accounts, you can't really tell what they can afford and what they can't. A lot of people have nice things because they are willing to carry a lot of debt. And some people carry some debt because there's no other choice. Unless you can take a peek into someone's checkbook ledger, you can't tell which category they fall into.

One Wandering Jew,

Some advice from a mommy of two little ones--you can take it or leave it. Make sure that you get quality time with your husband AWAY from the kids, even if you don't travel far. It's so easy to disconnect from your spouse when all of your emotional and physical energy is going to the kids. Hopefully you have family or generous friends who would be willing to babysit for a few days so the two of you can have some romantic time together. Yes, it's hard for us to leave the kids when we do this, but we always come back from our trips with a renewed relationship and new appreciation for the whole family.

Along another vein, I have a blast daydreaming with my four year old about where all we can go together someday. If she learns about geyers in a book or on TV, I'll tell her all about Yellowstone and tell her that maybe "someday" we can all go there as a family. She saw a picture of a Venetian gondola and is so intrigued by this place where the cars are boats! It's fun and educational to talk about these destinations with the little ones. By discussing it, you get a good idea of where their interest lie and what kinds of trips will be fun for them in the future.

Merseyheart. Ain't that the truth?
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The people that I know that cannot affored a vacation (to quote them) are paying a fortune in mortgage payments, property taxes, homeowners insurance, heating bills etc., plus the gasoline bills for their huge SUV's and often eat most breakfasts out "because they are so stressed they can't cook (like an egg, or a bowl of cereal?)".

Part of the family is like me, pay off the credit cards in full every month, keep cars a long time, live in what they can afford to live in etc. The other half calls us cheapskates.

Guess which half of the family takes wonderful trips as the other half whines and complains that they "cannot afford to". Too funny!

Sometimes I am in awe of how much I can relate to people on this board. Outside of Fodorland, most of my friends and family do not understand the need to travel. And for me that is a NEED to travel, not just a "want" to travel.

I drive a 10-year-old car and go to Europe twice a year. So many of you have echoed my sentiments, like when Isabel said at 2* hotels you don't meet rich people, just people who love to travel. I couldn't have said it better myself.

If I were to give up travel, I could get a brand new car and a bigger house. But the new car would get old and the bigger house would be more space than I need. And worst of all, I would miss out on the learning and the experience of seeing the world. This might be worth it for some people, and that's OK for them. It's not for me.

To OneWanderingJew--congrats on your marriage and baby!! I can understand your putting travel on the back burner for now, as you obviously have more important things to do. But as your child gets older, I bet he/she will learn to love travel as much as you do. My late grandmother taught me the love of travel, and that was the greatest gift she ever gave me. Good luck to you and your new family.