Help me convince my boyfriend to go to Europe with me!! Haha!!
Mar 21st, 2007, 12:07 PM
#102
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I read this thread with amazement, not at the OPs post, but at what some of you were able to read into it. Her boyfriend is "controlling", she should dump him etc.
I have dated the same man for a long time. He is in no way controlling, but he is a homebody. It's reflected in both our careers and our vacations. For example, he does not really like to travel on business, but I get bored if I have to work in the same place for too long.
He has gone to Europe with me. (He has traveled extensively in South America and has traveled for business in the past) However, he does not love travel the way I do... that's ok I don't really like fly fishing or gardening...
I am not going to quit seeing him over this, I also don't find it his way of being controlling LOL! It's just that in some areas our interests are different, life is not a three legged race and we don't have to do EVERYTHING together to be a good couple.
Perhaps we should limit advice on this board to travel and not provide couples counseling?
I have dated the same man for a long time. He is in no way controlling, but he is a homebody. It's reflected in both our careers and our vacations. For example, he does not really like to travel on business, but I get bored if I have to work in the same place for too long.
He has gone to Europe with me. (He has traveled extensively in South America and has traveled for business in the past) However, he does not love travel the way I do... that's ok I don't really like fly fishing or gardening...
I am not going to quit seeing him over this, I also don't find it his way of being controlling LOL! It's just that in some areas our interests are different, life is not a three legged race and we don't have to do EVERYTHING together to be a good couple.
Perhaps we should limit advice on this board to travel and not provide couples counseling?
Mar 21st, 2007, 04:41 PM
#103
CarolA, well it was when Layla asked:
"The point that I am trying to make is that we ALWAYS do the type of vacation that he wants...so when is it my turn??"
that caught my attention.
"The point that I am trying to make is that we ALWAYS do the type of vacation that he wants...so when is it my turn??"
that caught my attention.
Mar 21st, 2007, 05:21 PM
#104
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Well, yes, CarolA, that's a very valid point, but if you have been reading this board for as long as I have you will know that for I think the majority of posters, having a spouse or partner with whom to travel is a huge, important deal, and a major part of the relationships of many people on this board.
And I understand that...for me, being able to travel well with someone was always one of the major hallmarks of the relationship.
I think you are probably the exception to the rule around here. And there's nothing wrong with that.
And I understand that...for me, being able to travel well with someone was always one of the major hallmarks of the relationship.
I think you are probably the exception to the rule around here. And there's nothing wrong with that.
Mar 22nd, 2007, 09:50 AM
#106
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But Carol, your boyfriend DID go to Europe with you. Totally different situation.
The problem isn't that her boyfriend isn't interested in going to Europe.
The problem is that he WON'T go with her DESPITE the fact he isn't interested.
Men communicate with their actions, not with their words.
The problem isn't that her boyfriend isn't interested in going to Europe.
The problem is that he WON'T go with her DESPITE the fact he isn't interested.
Men communicate with their actions, not with their words.
Mar 22nd, 2007, 11:09 AM
#107
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No, the problem is SHE won't without him. The thing stopping her is her, not him as I read it. She has gone on other trips without him, so it's not that he won't let her go. That's not where HE wants to go so she lets him make the decison. (That's not always a controlling boyfriend, it can also be an abdicating girlfriend!)
Why should he go if he isn't interested? I don't go fly fishing? I am invited, I am not interested LOL! I don't think either of us consider this a failure in the relationship!
(And would you rather go on vacation alone or with "you made me go and I KNEW I wasn't going to like it?"
Why should he go if he isn't interested? I don't go fly fishing? I am invited, I am not interested LOL! I don't think either of us consider this a failure in the relationship!
(And would you rather go on vacation alone or with "you made me go and I KNEW I wasn't going to like it?"
Mar 22nd, 2007, 02:19 PM
#108
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Well....106 posts later and this thing is still going, I love it! LOL!
I don't want anyone to get into anrguments about what's happening here. CarolA, as StCirq pointed out, having a partner who enjoys my passion for travelling as much as I do is important for me, and if they are not terribly interested in it I would just like for them to share in it with me slightly. I don't expect him to come with me to Europe every year, I just want him to try it with me. What I think a lot of people aren't understanding is that I honestly think he would LOVE Europe if he went. I know his style, and what he enjoys and I really think that Europe is right up his alley.
Apres_Londee, maybe you are right and he is trying to communicate something to me with his actions and I am not yet able to figure it out...I have no idea??
Thanks again to everyone!
Layla
I don't want anyone to get into anrguments about what's happening here. CarolA, as StCirq pointed out, having a partner who enjoys my passion for travelling as much as I do is important for me, and if they are not terribly interested in it I would just like for them to share in it with me slightly. I don't expect him to come with me to Europe every year, I just want him to try it with me. What I think a lot of people aren't understanding is that I honestly think he would LOVE Europe if he went. I know his style, and what he enjoys and I really think that Europe is right up his alley.
Apres_Londee, maybe you are right and he is trying to communicate something to me with his actions and I am not yet able to figure it out...I have no idea??
Thanks again to everyone!
Layla
Mar 22nd, 2007, 02:24 PM
#109
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My 2 Cents
About 4 years ago my parents went to Europe (my step father was born in the Netherlands and hadn't been back since) My mom wanted to go to Germany to visit our relative, my step father did not want to go and he was very adamant. I volunteered to go with my mother and suddenly my step dad decided that well if I was going to go then he would too. Ever since going all they ever talk about is wanting to go back.
my advice: start planning the trip, include some things you think might interest him and if you think he is maybe a bit more interested broach the subject again. Otherwise, go alone. My spouse and I are going to London and Paris in the fall, he wouldn't give me an answer one way or the other so I told him I was going. He suddenly decided he would too.
I hope that it works out for you either way.
Jaz
About 4 years ago my parents went to Europe (my step father was born in the Netherlands and hadn't been back since) My mom wanted to go to Germany to visit our relative, my step father did not want to go and he was very adamant. I volunteered to go with my mother and suddenly my step dad decided that well if I was going to go then he would too. Ever since going all they ever talk about is wanting to go back.
my advice: start planning the trip, include some things you think might interest him and if you think he is maybe a bit more interested broach the subject again. Otherwise, go alone. My spouse and I are going to London and Paris in the fall, he wouldn't give me an answer one way or the other so I told him I was going. He suddenly decided he would too.
I hope that it works out for you either way.
Jaz
Mar 22nd, 2007, 02:30 PM
#110
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Apres_Londee: "Men communicate with their actions, not with their words".
Really?
As opposed to who, all women? Or all he-donkeys? or are we talking all the ponies? or bunnies? Sorry, I am sure you didn't mean anything but I just couldn't help chuckling at the gross generalization of half the population.
Last post on this thread of much free advice !
Really?
As opposed to who, all women? Or all he-donkeys? or are we talking all the ponies? or bunnies? Sorry, I am sure you didn't mean anything but I just couldn't help chuckling at the gross generalization of half the population. Last post on this thread of much free advice !
