Help, I have a conundrum!!
Mar 26th, 2006, 04:44 AM
#22
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Ask youself two questions:
1. What is the one thing I want above everything else to avoid -- i.e making my husband feel unwanted; being apart from my husband on my birthday; having a disappointing trip with a reluctant travel-companion.
This will not give you a solution but it will tell you what risk you most need to manage.
2. If I have to make trade-offs, what is the thing on which I least want to compromise -- i.e. the trip MUST be on my birthday; the trip MUST be to Europe; my birthday MUST be spent with my husband, etc.
Frankly the birthday thing and the trip thing seem the easiest to separate out.
Would it be the same issue, if you were to go on a holiday without him and your departure date were June or September rather than August.....
1. What is the one thing I want above everything else to avoid -- i.e making my husband feel unwanted; being apart from my husband on my birthday; having a disappointing trip with a reluctant travel-companion.
This will not give you a solution but it will tell you what risk you most need to manage.
2. If I have to make trade-offs, what is the thing on which I least want to compromise -- i.e. the trip MUST be on my birthday; the trip MUST be to Europe; my birthday MUST be spent with my husband, etc.
Frankly the birthday thing and the trip thing seem the easiest to separate out.
Would it be the same issue, if you were to go on a holiday without him and your departure date were June or September rather than August.....
Mar 26th, 2006, 11:02 AM
#24
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You could also find out what he doesn't like about traveling?
The packing/unpacking involved with an ABC tour? If so, is a river or barge cruise an option?
Does he dislike major cities? Maybe staying in a rural setting with daytrips. You could explore on your own while he can stay home or do his own thing.
Hates the long flight? Take the QE2 or QM2 transatlantic and spend a couple days in England before just 1 long flight.
He is a regular meat and potatoes person and is afraid of the food? Rent an apartment and cook one meal a day.
Does he have a particular interest you could appeal to? Tons and tons of activities that relate to a variety of hobbies.
It's been my experience that when you can't get an answer from someone close to you, they don't want to express their opinion because it will be in conflict with yours. And there never seems to be an easy way around that conundrum.
The packing/unpacking involved with an ABC tour? If so, is a river or barge cruise an option?
Does he dislike major cities? Maybe staying in a rural setting with daytrips. You could explore on your own while he can stay home or do his own thing.
Hates the long flight? Take the QE2 or QM2 transatlantic and spend a couple days in England before just 1 long flight.
He is a regular meat and potatoes person and is afraid of the food? Rent an apartment and cook one meal a day.
Does he have a particular interest you could appeal to? Tons and tons of activities that relate to a variety of hobbies.
It's been my experience that when you can't get an answer from someone close to you, they don't want to express their opinion because it will be in conflict with yours. And there never seems to be an easy way around that conundrum.
Mar 26th, 2006, 11:26 AM
#25
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LuLu, I had the same problem. I LOVE to travel, my husband who for many years traveled for work hates it. He would always get crabby on our family vacations. His nickname became Mr. Crabby Pants! He in the rest of life is never crabby but boy does he change on vacation, because it was no fun for him. About five years ago I decided there were places and great works of art I needed to see, I sat him down and explained it to him. We had been to Europe for his work a few years earlier so he knew how I felt already. My sister also loves to travel, so now we travel together. I now have been to Europe 5 times in 5 years and New York City each summer with my daughter (15). Last summer my husband went to NYC with us, and Mr. Crabby Pants did not appear once. My husband had a wonderful time and so did I! I think he had stayed home those other years and when we got home listened to how much fun we had and decided maybe it would and could be fun.
But, what I guess what I am trying to say is, nothing is worse than taking someone, somewhere they don't want to go or be. It can make them unhappy and you unhappy. Talk to your husband. But now as I approach (MOAN) middle age I realize there are things I need to do and see for me. Have a great Birthday. I have a BIG one next week also!
But, what I guess what I am trying to say is, nothing is worse than taking someone, somewhere they don't want to go or be. It can make them unhappy and you unhappy. Talk to your husband. But now as I approach (MOAN) middle age I realize there are things I need to do and see for me. Have a great Birthday. I have a BIG one next week also!
Mar 26th, 2006, 08:24 PM
#26
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Thank you for all of your suggestions. This evening an ad for "The Amazing Race - Italy" was on the television which was the perfect opening to my question of "do you REALLY want to go to Italy"? The answer was "yes, I really want to go". We are going on a cruise from Venice (2days there before boarding the ship), a week on the cruise ending in Rome (3days) and then visiting Swiss friends for a week. Hopefully, this will turn him on to traveling!
Ira, I checked a dictionary prior to typing my question and the definition was: conundrum> noun (pl. conundrums)1. a confusing and difficult problem or question 2. a riddle
Thank you all for your input. I am relieved and will enjoy my birthday in a place I love.
Happy Birthdays to all!
Lulu
Ira, I checked a dictionary prior to typing my question and the definition was: conundrum> noun (pl. conundrums)1. a confusing and difficult problem or question 2. a riddle
Thank you all for your input. I am relieved and will enjoy my birthday in a place I love.
Happy Birthdays to all!
Lulu
Mar 27th, 2006, 04:30 AM
#27
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Hi Lulu,
>Ira, I checked a dictionary prior to typing my question and the definition was: conundrum> noun (pl. conundrums)1. a confusing and difficult problem or question 2. a riddle <
Another example of the general lessening of standards.
If a conundrum were merely a difficult question, why would it also be a riddle?
It is not only a difficult question, it is a particular kind of riddle.
>Ira, I checked a dictionary prior to typing my question and the definition was: conundrum> noun (pl. conundrums)1. a confusing and difficult problem or question 2. a riddle <
Another example of the general lessening of standards.
If a conundrum were merely a difficult question, why would it also be a riddle?
It is not only a difficult question, it is a particular kind of riddle.
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