Husband can be 100% Dutch, but never have been to the Netherlands .

Skip seeing family, ( sorry you don't know them, they do not live in a major hub like Amsterdams so you would be spending at least 2 days just visiting strangers really) but perhaps just enjoy seeing and experiencing some of the Dutch customs and culture !

heitismij2 if husband was born and raised in the States seems to me he is 100% American with Dutch heritage?

He could have been born in Aruba, Bonaire, Curacao, Sint Maarten, Saba, even Surname and still be 100% Dutch and never have been to the Netherlands proper.
However I assume OP means both his parents (or even all four grandparents) are Dutch but he was raised in the US, since she makes no mention of visiting family whilst in Amsterdam.

Husband can be 100% Dutch, but never have been to the Netherlands >

In American parlance yes but perhaps not in Dutch parlance like the 100% non-Dutch hetismij2 but who lives in Holland (does that make Hetismij Dutch or a Brit living in Holland - even though she probably is a Dutch citizen - point is how we use the word "Dutch"

Here in Michigan we have a very very strong Dutch community in and around Holland, Michigan that sticks together strongly and strongly calls thmselves "Dutch" even though their fore fathers came here about 150 years ago. (Ironically they are extremely religious - the opposite of what I find in Holland today).

so I assume OP means of Dutch heritage - either one or both parents.

Hetismij uses the places controlled by Holland for 'Dutch" but we here use the term very differently - about heritage.

I want to reiterate what Peg said about planning a trip assuming you will be back. This is how I plan all my trips and it works. I may never actually go back, who knows, but the important thing about this way of thinking is that it takes the pressure off trying to see everything on this one trip. You won't see everything on your list, but you will have had a great time with the stuff you did see.

When you are looking back on this trip, the fact that you didn't see Italy (or wherever) will be WAY less important than your memories of just being where ever it was that you went with your sweetie

In my experience, when we try to plan too much, we get frustrated and tired and then grumpy and don't have a good time. When we dial it back, we are more relaxed and have a better time even if we don't do and see as much as we could have.

For 2 week trips, which most of ours are, we find that 3 or 4 destinations is best and we try to group the destinations so that we don't spend too much of our time travelling between places.

And consider base cities - stay in an Amsterdam for several days perhaps and do day trips to smaller and far different towns like Delft or Haarlem or any of dozens - or in Paris day trip to Reims and Champagne caves and tours or to Chartres for the world-famous cathedrals - yes I like too the idea of 4 or so bases for a 20-day trip - day tripping by train is so so easy - no luggage hassles - just head to the station.

Yes, basing yourself in one place and then doing day trips works out great - very relaxing way to go because there isn't the packing, unpacking, hotel change, etc. We generally shoot for 3-5 nights in each place we stay, with the occasional 1 or 2 night stay thrown in when it makes sense.

Another thing about slowing down the itinerary is that if you have an off day, you can adjust - if you are constantly on the move, there isn't any flexibility. And stuff is bound to happen. You overdo things one day and aren't quite up to snuff the next or whatever.