Have You Ever Travelled with an Almost Stranger?
Apr 6th, 2006, 11:12 AM
#101
TamaraEden, thanks for getting back to us with how things turned out.
my only thought is... wouldn't it have been a whole lot easier to have planned a solo trip from the start? you certainly seemed to enjoy that once you got to that point. soooo much time and energy appeared to go into planning to travel with this guy you didn't know, and i never could quite understand the reason why you so wanted to do it.
especially since you seem so free spirited and competent for traveling by yourself.
my only thought is... wouldn't it have been a whole lot easier to have planned a solo trip from the start? you certainly seemed to enjoy that once you got to that point. soooo much time and energy appeared to go into planning to travel with this guy you didn't know, and i never could quite understand the reason why you so wanted to do it.
especially since you seem so free spirited and competent for traveling by yourself.
Apr 6th, 2006, 02:53 PM
#102
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Let's see if I can make some general replies.
First, of course we didn't plan on doing everything together every waking hour. The issue was not that we have different interests. If anything, we probabally did much of the same stuff. The issue is simply that this person, after spending a little more time, is not someone I would associate with or hang out with in reality. Now, if I were reading this (and one of you had written), I too would have similar reactions. This person was an acquaintance. And like so many of you shared, sometimes, traveling with a new person is fun and exciting.
As far as why I didn't plan it alone to begin with...well, first, hotels cost almost double when you get singles or even twins. Splitting expenses is a huge difference. For example, one reasonable hotel that I had booked and prepaid for in Antwerp was 70US a night. Alone, that is more than I would have wanted to spend, but combined, that is a great deal, 35 each. So, cost was a consideration. The other consideration is that IF we clicked as buddies, it's much more fun having someone to share experiences with.
All in all...the trip was great...speaking of which...I should copy and paste that trip report.
First, of course we didn't plan on doing everything together every waking hour. The issue was not that we have different interests. If anything, we probabally did much of the same stuff. The issue is simply that this person, after spending a little more time, is not someone I would associate with or hang out with in reality. Now, if I were reading this (and one of you had written), I too would have similar reactions. This person was an acquaintance. And like so many of you shared, sometimes, traveling with a new person is fun and exciting.
As far as why I didn't plan it alone to begin with...well, first, hotels cost almost double when you get singles or even twins. Splitting expenses is a huge difference. For example, one reasonable hotel that I had booked and prepaid for in Antwerp was 70US a night. Alone, that is more than I would have wanted to spend, but combined, that is a great deal, 35 each. So, cost was a consideration. The other consideration is that IF we clicked as buddies, it's much more fun having someone to share experiences with.
All in all...the trip was great...speaking of which...I should copy and paste that trip report.
Apr 6th, 2006, 03:23 PM
#104
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Charley, we weren't really friends. Just acquaintances who wanted to travel and were able to go at the same time and wanted to go to the same places. So we tried it, and no, there will be no budding friendship. We didn't have an all out fight or blow out, I just know when things don't click.
Apr 6th, 2006, 03:43 PM
#105
charley, they had never even met before the trip.
tamara, for me if hotel costs are the issue i would rather take a bed in a hostel where everyone is strangers, rather than share a private hotel room with one.
tamara, for me if hotel costs are the issue i would rather take a bed in a hostel where everyone is strangers, rather than share a private hotel room with one.
Apr 6th, 2006, 04:10 PM
#106
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"The issue is simply that this person... is not someone I would associate with or hang out with in reality." This comment, along with those made prior to your trip about your travel partner not having the "balls" to make a move on you, and *you* having no romantic/sexual interest in him, come across as pretty condescending. And that's probably not your intent. But it sounds as if you consider yourself "cooler" than he is. Perhaps you are!
But with that attitude, it's not surprising that you two didn't hit it off. He probably thought you two were friends (of sorts.) And wanted to travel with you for reasons other than the economy of splitting hotel costs.
I've loved all my solo trips, and thought the increased expense was worth the decreased headaches. (Have traveled with others with varying degrees of success - from great times to complete nightmares. With no correlation between closeness and compatibility.)
But with that attitude, it's not surprising that you two didn't hit it off. He probably thought you two were friends (of sorts.) And wanted to travel with you for reasons other than the economy of splitting hotel costs.
I've loved all my solo trips, and thought the increased expense was worth the decreased headaches. (Have traveled with others with varying degrees of success - from great times to complete nightmares. With no correlation between closeness and compatibility.)
Apr 6th, 2006, 04:17 PM
#107
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Gee Lesli, thanks for you attempt at a huge character judgement on my behalf. Am I cooler? NO! Are we different? Absolutely. That's it. That's the point. It's what I've said all along. And the comment about him not making a pass, the guy is quiet, doesn't date, nice person nonetheless. Why is it that people STILL always go back to the guy making a pass. Seriously, what if I was the one who made a pass? Nobody asked me if that was my intention LOL...
Oh and again, thank you for the ummm comments on my character.
Oh and again, thank you for the ummm comments on my character.
Apr 6th, 2006, 04:39 PM
#108
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T.E.:
Though I'm sorry it didn't work out, it sounds like you "made lemonade", so to speak.
For anyone reading this thread and reconsidering travelling with someone you don't know well---I had a much happier experience. Several years ago my two sisters had to back out of an already-planned trip to France. I proceeded to buy tickets and book a hotel, planning to go solo. A friend from high school heard about it and asked about going. Her husband didn't want to travel and she saw this as a golden opportunity. We had been good friends 30 years ago but hadn't kept in touch at all.
We met several times and came up with a few points worth passing along:
1---We had separate rooms the first week while we saw how we "toured" together. After that we were fine sharing rooms---and, yes, it cuts expenses a LOT. Not to mention, we stayed in some very nice places neither of us could have afforded without sharing.
2---We made a "kitty" (small cosmetic bag) for common expenses like transportation, museums, tour guides, etc. We tried to use the kitty whenever possible. When it would get low, we each put in equal euros to replenish it. We kept track of our own credit card charges (hotels/rental car/some meals, etc) and tried to keep it fairly balanced throughout the trip.
3---I think it helped a lot that we like similar foods/wine. (She's more picky, but I found out I can go 3 weeks without Thai food!). We paid for many meals out of the kitty...didn't "nickel and dime" it if one ordered a kir and the other had house wine. It usually balanced out pretty well. We also had similar budgets in mind...I would be miserable with a travel partner who worried about the price of every restaurant.
4---We're both careful to keep our stuff organized so that one doesn't end up waiting for the other to pack/dress/etc. Neither of us likes a cluttered room, so that part was easy.
5---As Balm said, FLEXIBILITY is the key. We both agreed we wouldn't be hurt if one went off alone at times. We did this the time she wanted to spend a 3rd day clothes shopping for her teen aged daughter. I'm an early riser, she likes to sleep in. So I donned my walking clothes and went for long pre-dawn walks which provided some of my fondest memories of Paris.
As it turned out, we've renewed our dormant friendship and have travelled together several times now. So it can be done, and happily at that. It just takes a lot of flexibility...and the ability to laugh when things go wrong!
Though I'm sorry it didn't work out, it sounds like you "made lemonade", so to speak.
For anyone reading this thread and reconsidering travelling with someone you don't know well---I had a much happier experience. Several years ago my two sisters had to back out of an already-planned trip to France. I proceeded to buy tickets and book a hotel, planning to go solo. A friend from high school heard about it and asked about going. Her husband didn't want to travel and she saw this as a golden opportunity. We had been good friends 30 years ago but hadn't kept in touch at all.
We met several times and came up with a few points worth passing along:
1---We had separate rooms the first week while we saw how we "toured" together. After that we were fine sharing rooms---and, yes, it cuts expenses a LOT. Not to mention, we stayed in some very nice places neither of us could have afforded without sharing.
2---We made a "kitty" (small cosmetic bag) for common expenses like transportation, museums, tour guides, etc. We tried to use the kitty whenever possible. When it would get low, we each put in equal euros to replenish it. We kept track of our own credit card charges (hotels/rental car/some meals, etc) and tried to keep it fairly balanced throughout the trip.
3---I think it helped a lot that we like similar foods/wine. (She's more picky, but I found out I can go 3 weeks without Thai food!). We paid for many meals out of the kitty...didn't "nickel and dime" it if one ordered a kir and the other had house wine. It usually balanced out pretty well. We also had similar budgets in mind...I would be miserable with a travel partner who worried about the price of every restaurant.
4---We're both careful to keep our stuff organized so that one doesn't end up waiting for the other to pack/dress/etc. Neither of us likes a cluttered room, so that part was easy.
5---As Balm said, FLEXIBILITY is the key. We both agreed we wouldn't be hurt if one went off alone at times. We did this the time she wanted to spend a 3rd day clothes shopping for her teen aged daughter. I'm an early riser, she likes to sleep in. So I donned my walking clothes and went for long pre-dawn walks which provided some of my fondest memories of Paris.
As it turned out, we've renewed our dormant friendship and have travelled together several times now. So it can be done, and happily at that. It just takes a lot of flexibility...and the ability to laugh when things go wrong!
Apr 6th, 2006, 08:37 PM
#110
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Sorry you didn't have a great experience traveling with an almost stranger. Sometimes it works out great, sometimes it doesn't, and that's just life.
Better to have lived and learned than not to have lived at all.
Better to have lived and learned than not to have lived at all.
Apr 7th, 2006, 12:01 AM
#111
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<charley, they had never even met before the trip>
I did realise that but Tamara said they had been communicating online (all the time) for a few years. I'd call that a friendship of some sort!!
Shame it didn't work out but at least you cut your losses very quickly. You've got to take chances, sometimes they work out and sometimes they don't.
I did realise that but Tamara said they had been communicating online (all the time) for a few years. I'd call that a friendship of some sort!!
Shame it didn't work out but at least you cut your losses very quickly. You've got to take chances, sometimes they work out and sometimes they don't.
and thanks.
Apr 7th, 2006, 10:23 AM
#114
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I can second the above post from JeanneB....
I am one who usually travels with 1-3 as upcoming France trip w/ 3 women friends for 3 weeks.
We do a "Kitty" also and pay for anything we all partake in from Kitty.
We feed the Kitty when it gets low. and take turns being in charge of Kitty ...
Also we usually take turns paying for lunch/dinner with cc. When we get home (and get our cc statements) one of our group does the math (on computer program) and tells each of us who owes what...the amazing thing is that by the end of the trip we each have spent about same amount (within a few bucks) and comes out to minimal adjustments needing to be made.
We each order our choice at each meal and that also evens out very well. We all drink wine so we are compatible in that.
Funny aside: a few years ago my friend and I traveled with a new traveler to France. She does not drink wine at all and drinks cokes. She was VERY concerned that she would get shorted at meal times and end up paying for wine she would not drink.
We agreed and started breaking out wine/her coke $/f from our meals.....as it turned out her coke almost always cost more than our carafe of house red!
All it takes is willingness to be flexible...it is the rare disagreement that has any Historical Significence for me.....AND CHOOSING YOUR TRAVEL COMPANIONS WITH CARE!
I am one who usually travels with 1-3 as upcoming France trip w/ 3 women friends for 3 weeks.
We do a "Kitty" also and pay for anything we all partake in from Kitty.
We feed the Kitty when it gets low. and take turns being in charge of Kitty ...
Also we usually take turns paying for lunch/dinner with cc. When we get home (and get our cc statements) one of our group does the math (on computer program) and tells each of us who owes what...the amazing thing is that by the end of the trip we each have spent about same amount (within a few bucks) and comes out to minimal adjustments needing to be made.
We each order our choice at each meal and that also evens out very well. We all drink wine so we are compatible in that.
Funny aside: a few years ago my friend and I traveled with a new traveler to France. She does not drink wine at all and drinks cokes. She was VERY concerned that she would get shorted at meal times and end up paying for wine she would not drink.
We agreed and started breaking out wine/her coke $/f from our meals.....as it turned out her coke almost always cost more than our carafe of house red!
All it takes is willingness to be flexible...it is the rare disagreement that has any Historical Significence for me.....AND CHOOSING YOUR TRAVEL COMPANIONS WITH CARE!
Apr 7th, 2006, 12:12 PM
#115
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StlSusan, wow, what a great group of girlfriends. Getting the check at a restaurant locally can be a fiasco for some groups of friends. Personally, if it's within a few dollars difference, my friends and I don't make it an issue at all.
Suze--who said I never met the person I travelled with? We totally had met. Just hadn't spent significant time together.
Suze--who said I never met the person I travelled with? We totally had met. Just hadn't spent significant time together.
Apr 7th, 2006, 01:55 PM
#117
My sincere apologies. I was mixing up your story with a similar thread... one where the person said it was too expensive to fly and meet the person who lived in a different state before their trip together. Really, sorry.
