breathe

I am going to be traveling around Europe for 10 weeks this summer with my husband and my two teenagers. I feel very fortunate that I have this opportunity, and I have planned the entire trip with all of your great advice, and I am really looking forward to it, but...I am also very nervous. I am going to be in 5/6 different countries and I will not know the language, the culture. I am going to be together with my family 24/7, no friends, no internet. I know that should sound like an exciting adventure, and it does. Ninety percent of the time I am keeping positive, and am very excited, but as it gets closer, I get this sick feeling in my stomach. I am going to be out of my comfort zone in a lot of areas, and I have real anxiety about it. If anyone has done this before; left their home and their life for this long, please write me with how you managed, and with any advice. For those who want to call me a spoiled brat who needs to grow up, just please refrain from responding. Thank you, Breathe

ita

I don't think yoou should worry about culture and language. I am sure part of why you are going is to experience the differences. The only advice I can give you is about France where it is an important part of the culture not to approach people in English. A simple: "Bonjour, parlez vous anglais" will probably get a response in English. I travel quite a bit and one regret I have is that we don't seem to spend that much time with the locals as we are usually at tourist destinations. My second suggestion is that you not be with your family 24/7. Surely you won't all want to do the same thing everytime. Try to get a few hours to yourself once and awhile. Thirdly be flexible, don't have a rigid schedule and take time every now and then just to sit at the beach or in a park. Have a wonderful trip.

Betsy

Your screen name says it all, Breathe! What a great opportunity! We've traveled for six weeks in Europe--my husband was ready to come home, but I could've stayed six MORE weeks. Is this your first trip to Europe? If so you may be a bit overwhelmed at times, but if you adopt an adventurous attitude, that will help. My most important suggestion to you is to spend some time AWAY from the rest of the family and encourage the others to do the same. Go exploring on your own for a half-day or a whole day. Come back to dinner refreshed and full of exciting experiences to report.

Will you post your itinerary for those of us who travel vicariously through lucky people like you? And of course we'll expect a detailed trip report upon your return, so be sure to pack your journal.

Bon voyage, buona viaggio, etc.

adrienne

Hi breathe,

I identify 3 problems in your post; let's see if we can solve them a bit and make you feel easier:

1a. Different countries/cultures. You have time to find books at the library about the cultures of the countries you'll visit. Read these books and any other guide books which usually have some information at the beginning on the country culture. If you post what countries you're going to perhaps we can help with cultural differences.

1b. Language. Most people in Europe who deal with tourists speak at least some English. Unless you're going to small villages/towns you'll be able to converse with others in English. Also, there will be lots of English-speaking tourists. Strike up a conversation with strangers. Ask questions of them to get the conversation started, i.e., have you been to XYZ town, we're thinking of going there. Many people on vacation like to talk to others. This often happens in restaurants/cafes.

2. Family 24/7. Why do you have to be with them all the time? Can't you say you need some "personal space" and go off for 2 hours on your own? Sit in a cafe and write post cards or in your journal (and please keep a journal - you'll love to look back on it). Or, go to a museum or shopping. Maybe there's other fodorites who will be in the same places the same time as you and you can meet up for drinks or dinner.

3. No internet? There's tons of internet cafes in Europe. Why not stop in one and get on line for a while. It could be a family outing or some alone time for you.

Hope this helps relieve some of your stress. Have a great time - I'm envious of your 10 weeks. By the way...I did 5 months once; most of it alone.

nytraveler

I agree with Ira - you biggest danger is being with your family 24/7. I don't care how close and loving you family is this is a recipe for disaster. Your must build regular alone time into the schedule for each of you as well as time for the adults to be alone together and time for the teenagers to spend with their peers. As for no internet - for this time away I would definitely bring along a tiny laptop - to use at internet cafes if nothing else - so everyone can at least keep up with their friends via e-mail. I think even this level of outside contact can take a lot of pressure off everyone. Also, try to maximize your contact with people you met on the trip - either locals or other tourists - to do things with to break up the constant family party atmosphere.

(When I was a child we took numerous, lengthy family vacations - aunts, uncles, cousins etc - but 4 weeks, not 10 - to a summer house. But what took the 24/7 pressure off was the kids could do things with kids from neighboring houses during most of the day - and the adults frequently went out to dinner together - either using a sitter - or us older kids once we hit 14. Without those free times it would have been fatal for everyone.)

Gardyloo

First, yes, take a breath. If it's summer and you're in Europe, langauage will be the least of your concerns. You will likely feel way too familiar with the goings-on around you.

Second, with 10 weeks and 5/6 countries, that's under two weeks per country. Plenty of people spend two weeks in a foreign country and barely have time to see a small percentage of the highlights. Don't know on your mode of travel, but that period is long enough to warrant looking into house rentals in some locations, so you can add domesticity (plus, usually, neighbors, shopkeepers, etc. that know you) into the mix.

Third, there are thousands of wireless internet ("wi-fi&quot "hot spots" across Europe. Take a laptop with an wireless internet card and bingo, you're connected. Yes, it may take some sleuthing to figure out where the hot spots are, or how to get connected with local ISPs, but that can be part of the fun of traveling. I'm waiting for the first real "blogs" to turn up here at Fodors; it will probably happen this spring IMO. A computer is great for keeping diaries - one per family member, using the computer's privacy settings.

Fourth, will you have a vehicle for the duration? I ask because on that long a trip your vehicle can become your "home" in a funny sort of way. On a 9- or 10-week tour we did a few years ago our rental car (Renault or Peugeot lease-purchase, the only way to go for long rentals) served as "safe zone," the place where we could reliably hear news in English (thanks AFR and BBC), our own music, have private conversations, and also dry laundry (in the boot) when the hang-it-over-the-tub approach was insufficient.

Last, get phone cards, and/or a cell phone that operates on both N. American and Euro cell systems. Plentiful these days. Allocate some resources to calling home - you'll be amazed how that helps de-pressurize and link you on long trips. Your teens will thank you. Our 10 weeks in Europe were part of a 4-month sabbatical, and by the time we were halfway through it the folks at home were asking us to call a little less, please.

Sally

I traveled in Europe for three months one summer. I went camping with my brother and two friends. It was a wonderful experience. I did go off on my own part of the time- to Paris for an extra two weeks.

The things I missed- my fiance- I was engaged a month before I went to Europe- and hamburgers- before Macdonald's appeared in Europe. I also missed hearing English spoken all around me.
Do learn hello, please , thank you, and do you speak English in the languages of each of the countries you will visit.

Go to the library or the bookstore and spend a half day looking at books about the countries you will visit.

Get coffee table type picture books to bring home and look at with your family before you go. Thi s is what I do with my husband- he doesn't have time to do research himself, but when he looks at photo books of the different places we plan to go, then he gets very interested and picks out places he really wants to see.

rex

There is no reason on earth why you should not - - and by you, I mean ALL of you four, individually and together - - have some time alone each week, or even each day, if you need it. Ten weeks? It would be unthinkable for me, or my wife, or our three daughters to go anywhere, including here in our own hometown wthout considerable time apart. And if your life - - your personal life - - means that your "e-life" is a part of who you are weekly, or daily, I don't think that has to change SO drastically.

Somhow, some way - - even if you need to edit out parts of this thread - - you need to show this to your husband, and maybe even your kids... and talk about it.

The rest of "us" are intensely jealous of your opportunity -- but "we" think your apprehensions are well-founded, well thought out... and, I will just speak for myself here, I think that that the issue can be faced prospectively and addressed successfully.

Best wishes,

Rex

Betsy

Another idea occurred to me as I was making the coffee out here on the West Coast. Maybe each member of your family could plan a complete day from beginning to end--sight seeing, meals, etc.--for the other family members. Whatever the planner wants to do (within reason, of course) rules for that day. This could be a once-in-a-while option or maybe you could do it in each country you're planning to visit.

How old are the teens? Old enough to try their wings on their own a bit? Our son, then age 22, was with us for part of the trip then struck out on his own. Even when we were in the same city, he sometimes opted to say in a hostel so he could have fun with his peers.

Patrick

Since "partial" retirement in 1995, my partner and I have traveled to Europe every summer but one. We've gone for 5 months at time three times, and generally two to three months at a time the other years. We've done as much as 11 countries in one trip, usually more like 4 or 5. Our longest stays have been for two weeks, mixed with lots of 3 night stays. People ask if we were ready to come home and we both agree -- NO!

First of all, I like that idea about letting each person plan some days. Also I think you all need to develop some breathing space (how appropriate to your name). With a few limits, your teenagers should be allowed to venture out on their own some, and you and your husband maybe even will want to split sometimes. All agree to meet for lunch or back in time for dinner. Or give the kids a break and you two do a dinner alone, while the kids can do their own thing. If staying for three days or more, try to unpack everything so you're not living out of a suitcase. Whenever possible book apartments. Or when it hotels try to opt for two inexpensive rooms so you have two baths. You will be very grateful in the long run.

You will not need to be away from the internet. Escape to an internet cafe for a few hours -- they are cheap and available everywhere in Europe.

By the way, neither of us speak any languages, and we are even slow to build up much working vocabulary. Sadly, it seems that everyone makes it too easy for us with English and we put off really working to speak the languages. It's just never been a problem.

ita

I have thought of a few more tips. Travel light-I'm still trying to accomplish this. You cannot depend on getting luggage carts, porters or elevators at stations. Secondly try to stay in one location as long as possible and take day trips. If you stay for a week at a time, I agree you should look into appartment rentals. I am trying this my next trip. It also gives you the choice of eating in sometimes and giving you each individual space. Again have fun.

breathe

Thank you so much for your responses and good advice. Here is my itinerary, and it is not in stone, so please let me know if you think it is too much. My children are 13 and 14.

1)Germany/Switzerland-10 days,2 locations- upper Bavaria and Munich w/car
2)Austria-1 week in mountains on lake
3)Lake Como, Italy-1 week-house w/car
4)Venice-3 days-hotel
5)Cinque Terre-3 days-hotel
6)Rome-3 days-Apartment
7)Sorrento-5 days-hotel
8)Tuscany- 1 week -villa. w/car
9)Cannes France- 1 week, house-w/car
10)Le Lavendou France-1 week-APT on the beach
11)Costa Blanca Spain, 1 week
12)Madrid 3 days

I had read many threads advising leaving the lap top at home, but it would be a great escape for me to be able to journal in it, e-mail friends,surf the web, etc. If anyone can recommend a small one, I'd appreciate it. Since we will be in Italy for about 5 weeks, I will definately try to learn some of the language. Keep the suggestions coming! Thanks, Breathe

rex

LAptop technology changes so much from week to week, I submit that a trip to Best Buy, Circuit City, CompUSA or Micro Center - - to see what is on the shelves is very much worth your while - - and more likely to be informative than what anyone tells you here. And, as an alternative for buying CHEAP, you might luck out on eBay and find something for under 300 or 400 dollars. Indeed, the laptop I am using right now is worth (to me) so much more than anyone would give me for it (probably $200 or less) - - people (who are less pack rat than me) DO sell stuff, and a 1, 2 or evem 3-year old laptop can be immensely useful to you.

I would recommend two things: you would do well to avoid a laptop that does NOT have a ("floppy&quot disk drive - - since the ability to carry files to and from an internet cafe on a diskette can be very useful. And although almost all laptops are 110/220-240 compatible, might as well avoid the small percentage that are not.

I am utterly devastated with envy over your itinerary.

Buon viaggi!

adrienne

breathe - you are soooooo lucky! I don't know about the Austria part of the trip but for the rest you'll find plenty of people who speak English.

Forget the laptop. There's something theraputic about writing long hand and you don't have to take down everything. Make notes about your impressions and put down the sights you've seen, good restos, prices, etc. The rest you can type up when you return home and relive the trip.

Here's my cultural tips: In Germany I was yelled at for helping myself to salad bar. Apparently the waitress/waiter serves you from the salad bar. You just point and say "when."

In France, don't touch the produce in the markets or green grocers. Again point and say how many/how much. Learn how many grams are in a pound since produce is sold by kilo (or you can ask for a demi-kilo if you want a pound).

Don't forget to add madame, monsieur, mademoiselle to the greeting or the thank you. Greet shopkeepers upon entering (in Italy also).

WillTravel

I've thought about whether to take a laptop (we have a very old one). I've decided that whatever I need to do online (and there will be a few things) can be done at an Internet cafe, perhaps every other day for an hour or so. I'm not taking as long a trip as breathe, though.

My luggage is always heavy enough (even though I pack fairly lightly) and I wouldn't want a laptop, which brings extra anxiety with it as well.

Trips also provide a chance for my hands to recover from possible repetitive strain injuries (since I type an awful lot during the year).

WillTravel

BTW, even though I spend a lot of time at the computer when at home, I don't miss it at all when I am traveling.

ita

Your itinerary sounds great. I would consider staying outside of Venice at Padua especially at that busy time of year.

rex

<<I would consider staying outside of Venice at Padua especially at that busy time of year.>>

To visit Venice, stay IN Venice. To visit Padua and other "Palladio" country, do NOT stay in Venice (why pay that lodging premium to sightsee outside Venice?)

Are you going to have a (leased) car this entire trip (yout best option by far, I think). I submit that the four of you are going to have 100-200 pounds of luggage together (if not more). A laptop, of four pounds, or even eight pounds is inconsequential.

And "there is something therapeutic in writing longhand"? Could well be. So is painting, and swimming, and slicing carrots. Doesn't mean that your laptop will be a bad idea for you.

1deb2

You are fortunate that you will be with your family - I was solo for my three months and it was very daunting. Every city has an internet cafe - even if it is only 1 computer (I was able to acess email in Tirana, Albania and in Macedonia). Having lugged a computer laptop - if you don't need it, don't bring it. But with teenagers, you may welcome its other values for games and dvds.

Planning is key but so is flexibility. I am in a position to say that - my rental fell through and I was literally out on the street in one town where I was planning to stay for 2 weeks. Give yourself a broad outline and recognize (and welcome) alterations to the plan.

Let your family pick/take responsibility for specific cities or sites. This has worked well for me. Have each pick one thing they would like to do, see and one where to eat in each city or for each region. Post the question, "One thing that would make this trip memorable. . ." Believe me, it helps with the feeling that you are responsible for everyone's good time and it helps get all invovled.

Use the net for bus schedules, booking museums ahead of time and for clues, such as this sight offers.

Finally, it will be fun. I remember the panic of trying to find a place to stay as single woman, not speaking the language and not sure of the "neighborhoods." But I really remember that I did it and had an interesting story to tell.

And, you itinerary sounds fabulous.

Cameron

No matter where you are staying, hotel, apt, or house, make sure that EACH person in your family has a piece of paper with the name, address and phone # of where you are staying. This way if one or some of your party become separated or lost, they can at least get a taxi home.