Zeit und raum existieren nur in unseren kopfen. (Time and space exist only in our minds)

Wo zum teufel bleibt der zimmerservice? (Where the hell is room service?)

Wurden sie mir meinen freund tragen helfen? (Would you help me carry my friend?)

Bitte zeigen sie mir die stelle an ihrem korper. (Please just point to the place on your own body.)

Sie werden sich wunschen in Bulgarien geboren worden zu sein. (You'll wish you'd been born in Bulgaria.)

Nun bin ich sicher das ich die burg rechtzeitig erreichen werde. (Now I am sure to reach the castle on time.)

Trotzdem haben wir uns verlaufen. (Nevertheless we are lost.)

Splendid, Edward2005, I'm sure we are all madly impressed!

But if you knew anything at all about the German language, you would be aware that all nouns are capitalized.

Eloise, what a grand touche' of a reply. Actually the grammar is quite good, but those capitals just ruined it all. Maybe Edward is one of those modern typists like so many who don't bother with correct spelling or capitalization in their electronic communications..........

Or maybe I don't know anything about German.

Edward2005---is your middle inital e?

and is your last name cummings?

I have one: Sei ruhig.

These are really, really handy phrases for anyone visiting Germany.

Capitals are superfluous because these are all drawn directly from the spoken language of the man on the street.

harzer

I can't tell you how many times the third one would have come in handy! Thanks, Edward.

I thought there'd been some orthographic conference that was trying to abolish initial capitals on nouns?

Wo ist die Lavabo? Toilette? Where is the washroom? Toilet?

Das ist zu teuer! That's too expensive!

Two phrases I always teach my wife. Wherever we travel. In all sorts of languages.

I particularly like the third one (about the friend) and the fifth (although I have never felt that wish so far, but there's still hope, I presume).

USNR,

Where did you hear the sentence "Wo ist die Lavabo" supposedly meaning "Where's the toilet"? I have never ever in my life heard the term "Lavabo" - and it still doesn't make any sense to me!

Here's the first full sentence I ever learned in German, straight from a 1960s textbook:

Ach du meine Gute! Mein Plattenspieler ist kaput!

Now THAT was useful (NOT)!

hsv - lavabo ist dieses altmodische Ding, eine Schüssel auf einem schmiedeeisernen Gestell, drüber noch meist ein Spiegel, drunter noch eine Kanne mit Wasser. Ist in Antiquitätenläden ganz begehrt, früher eine Notwendigkeit - bevor es fliessendes Wasser überall gab.

Nicht dass Du jetzt denkst, wir im Osten haben noch kein fliessendes Wasser

Gruss aus der Kälte, Ingo

Ingo,

danke! In order to not exclude any others here (and in order to prevent the supervisors of the forum sensing a conspiracy which simply isn't there - you got to be careful these days after 9/11 and such...- , I will go back to using English here, although it was nice to read something profoundly German) I will admit that evidently there still are things for me to learn in my native language. I dare say, however, that using such an expression nowadays will cause some stares with quite a number of people who simply won't understand - at least around my neck of the woods.

And no, no ironic, sarcastic or otherwise condescending comments aboout Eastern Germany from me (at least on this occasion;-) )- it's an area I truly enjoy and I am happy to be able to travel to with no restrictions whatsoever anymore.

Greetings to you, too, from a part of Germany that's also unusually cool!
hsv

I vaguely remember a sentence from the German course I took during my freshman year at college. Something like:

Ich sehe dich doch noch nicht auf dem Podium stehen.

I have never had an occasion to use it.

And the one I taught my father-in-law: Die Rechnung, bitte. (The check please)

And one overheard that taught me as much about german grammar as 2 years of high school and 1 year of college language courses: Wir hatten bessere Platze finden konnen (don't know how to do the umlauts).

Mark Twain's take on "The Awful German Language."

http://www.bdsnett.no/klaus/twain/

Let me ask my son, when he was in 7th grade he was removed from a German class for asking the unknowing German woman teacher for the translation of "Spank the Monkey." I am not sure if he even understood the implication...

IIRC Lavabo = Waschbecken = sink in "German"-speaking Switzerland...