janisj

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukne...stilettos.html

ChgoGal

No, you misunderstood, Janis. I'm thinking this is some sort of Law and Order-SVU "fan fiction" set (implausibly, yet imaginatively) in the Cotswold.

Or a clever comedy of errors... in chapter two, the ladies are persuaded to swap their nipple pasties for a meat pasty, or lament the difficulty of cleaning lucite heels of sheep dung, etc., because nothing like this ever, EVER, happens in the Cotswold in my remembrance.

Never ever.

janisj

When I lived in the area - dons basked naked on the riverbank in the middle of Oxford and my poor mid-20's sensibilities were shocked (punting down the river one June afternoon) coming around a bend in the river to several of them sprawled out for god and everyone to see . . .

But lap dancers, masquerading as pole dancers, who kidnap the impresario . . . Nope never encountered such a thing . . .

Southam

Unless it disturbed the fox hunt, it's not news. Although, on second thought, no newspaper knows the wellie-wearers better than the Telegraph.

PatrickLondon

Well, there's not lot else to do down there, I imagine.

Unless there's some other reason why it's described as a "pop-up night club".

flanneruk

"When I lived in the area - dons basked naked on the riverbank in the middle of Oxford "

You clearly never attended the Cheltenham Festival.

Although the alleged kidnapping happened one September, it was related to the girls' allegedly providing "special" lapdancing services to punters during the previous March's Cheltenham races.

Their response was unusual: their behaviour during the Festival simply par for the course.

No delusion about elderly spinsters sipping elderflower wine in a thatched cottage has ever survived 0.6 nanoseconds' exposure to every single racketeer, gombeen man and former Taoiseach in Ireland (though the terms all refer to the same people) taking over Cheltenham each St Patrick's Day and - with a bit of help from my neighbours - turning the place into a latter-day Gomorrah.

The Cheltenham Festival is at least peaceful enough to be allowed to survive. The Wychwood Forest Fair, after mass mayhem involving thousands, got temporary bans in 1830, 1831, 1832, 1833, 1843 and 1845 - and partial closure in 1852 - and was finally banned - supposedly forever - in 1856.

Predictably, of course, it's now been relaunched on the same site (owned by the sister in law of the Governor of the Bank of England), rebranded the Wilderness summer festival.

Involving far more nudity, and even more outrageous prices, than any Cheltenham lapdancing club, front-page photographs of Britain's rulers cavorting there are now a standard feature of August newspapers.

kovsie

Poor Judge Mercer, who has to keep a straight face through all of this!

PatrickLondon

"Involving far more nudity, and even more outrageous prices, than any Cheltenham lapdancing club, front-page photographs of Britain's rulers cavorting there are now a standard feature of August newspapers."

Bumface cavorting in the altogether? Nurse! The mindbleach!

flanneruk

The rulers ensure they're photographed only in M&S jeans, surrounded by rulerbrats, eating fish & chips from the J Sheekey pop up.

Participants in the mass skinny dips are generally unidentifiable. Like in that Duchess of Argyll photo.

sofarsogood

for those you of you wondering what to do in the Cotswolds in the evenings these ladies are now available for your entertainment…

but make sure you pay up

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2...dnap-club-boss

PatrickLondon

I sense a comedy caper movie in there somewhere. Possibly starring Ricky Gervais.

ira

"Curtis Woodman says lapdancers kidnapped him when he failed to pay them after their refusal to keep their clothes on meant that his club was shut down, a court hears".

He's lucky they didn't send Vito to discuss it with him.