Giving Up Your Seat-What Would You Do?
Nov 30th, 2007, 12:38 AM
#41
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Best example of selfish seat switching in my experience was as follows:
I boarded a full 3-3 ATL-LAX flight and proceeded to my emergency exit row aisle seat. When I arrived I was surprised to find two children in the middle and window seats. Ages about 9 and 7, both playing video games. I looked around to see if anybody laid obvious claim to them, since it seemed very unlikely that a flight attendant would have put unaccompanied minors in an emergency row. Finally I asked the older if their parents were on the plane, and he replied yes and indicated the row ahead and across from us.
So I got up and said hello and pointed out that the children would have to switch seats. They (two young women and a young man, all obviously affluent) pretty much blew me off, so I returned to my seat. The flight attendant came by a minute later and nearly had a stroke, initially assuming that the children were mine. I pointed out the real parents, and she again told them the kids would have to move and why. They very reluctantly agreed to rearrange themselves.
Said rearranging ended up with them asking me if I'd please move to the non-emergency exit row with their children, as the man (the father) refused to be seated with them, and the two women were sisters who wanted to visit during the flight. I declined, and pointed out that I'd left my children at home.
One of the women did end up sitting in the middle seat next to me, with some random guy sitting in the window seat. She wasn't happy, but then life isn't perfect.
Note that if the request for the switch had involved putting children next to parents (instead of moving them as far as possible away from them) I'd likely have accomodated it.
I boarded a full 3-3 ATL-LAX flight and proceeded to my emergency exit row aisle seat. When I arrived I was surprised to find two children in the middle and window seats. Ages about 9 and 7, both playing video games. I looked around to see if anybody laid obvious claim to them, since it seemed very unlikely that a flight attendant would have put unaccompanied minors in an emergency row. Finally I asked the older if their parents were on the plane, and he replied yes and indicated the row ahead and across from us.
So I got up and said hello and pointed out that the children would have to switch seats. They (two young women and a young man, all obviously affluent) pretty much blew me off, so I returned to my seat. The flight attendant came by a minute later and nearly had a stroke, initially assuming that the children were mine. I pointed out the real parents, and she again told them the kids would have to move and why. They very reluctantly agreed to rearrange themselves.
Said rearranging ended up with them asking me if I'd please move to the non-emergency exit row with their children, as the man (the father) refused to be seated with them, and the two women were sisters who wanted to visit during the flight. I declined, and pointed out that I'd left my children at home.
One of the women did end up sitting in the middle seat next to me, with some random guy sitting in the window seat. She wasn't happy, but then life isn't perfect.
Note that if the request for the switch had involved putting children next to parents (instead of moving them as far as possible away from them) I'd likely have accomodated it.
Nov 30th, 2007, 03:12 AM
#42
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While I am not necessarily inclined to switch to a lesser seat, I think some are being a little harsh. As has been alluded to, seat assignments can change for a lot of reasons and it isn't necessarily due to some sort of incompetence or laziness that someone ended up in a bad seat. Nor is it always up to hard work and moral superiority that someone has a better seat. I've had seats changed by the airline within an hour of departure - so late that I didn't know until I went to board. I'm sure others have encountered similar experiences.
I've switched for people before. And I've asked others to switch with me. As long as everybody is polite, respectful, and not trying to get the better of anybody else, I don't see the harm. I don't think it appropriate for <i>either</i> party to sulk, complain, or lecture the other.
I've switched for people before. And I've asked others to switch with me. As long as everybody is polite, respectful, and not trying to get the better of anybody else, I don't see the harm. I don't think it appropriate for <i>either</i> party to sulk, complain, or lecture the other.
Nov 30th, 2007, 03:28 AM
#44
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I'm amazed at some of these stories - I don't think anything like that's ever happened to me that I can recall.
Certainly, if a father decided I should be moved so that he could sit apart from his children, I'd have asked what he imagined he was doing when they were conceived...
Certainly, if a father decided I should be moved so that he could sit apart from his children, I'd have asked what he imagined he was doing when they were conceived...
Nov 30th, 2007, 03:44 AM
#45
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I would be of the same opinion as Travelgourmet, I would certainly try to oblige someone who wished to sit next to their children, but I wouldnt be too amused if someone just plonked themselves in my sit before i even arrived!
Many times, I have been seated seperately to my children, but just put up with it.
Many times, I have been seated seperately to my children, but just put up with it.
Nov 30th, 2007, 06:14 AM
#48
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In retrospect, had the move not meant giving up exit row seating and extra leg room, moving along with these children wouldn't have been the worst thing ever, as they were largely absorbed in their games, with headsets. I like children and don't mind being seated with unaccompanied minors, as they're generally on very, very good behavior.
Their mother (or was it their aunt?) on the other hand was a yacker, and yacked pretty much the entire flight, either to the guy sitting at the window seat or with her sister whenever she could get up and go over to her.
Either way, a long flight, and clearly a memorable one. Exceptional in my experience---usually this sort of thing is all handled very politely and easily.
Their mother (or was it their aunt?) on the other hand was a yacker, and yacked pretty much the entire flight, either to the guy sitting at the window seat or with her sister whenever she could get up and go over to her.
Either way, a long flight, and clearly a memorable one. Exceptional in my experience---usually this sort of thing is all handled very politely and easily.
Nov 30th, 2007, 06:16 AM
#49
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I'll echo what some others have said about allowing parents to sit next to their children, if possible, and it not always being the "fault" of those wishing to switch seats that theirs weren't assigned next to each other.
My story:
Several years ago, my husband and I booked a trip for us and our two children somewhat last-minute. We didn't think it was last minute, but I guess the airline thought so. We tried to get seat assignments, but couldn't; we'd get them when we checked in. Flight to our destination went fine. Different story on the trip back.
Early morning flight, about 6 am departure. Orlando, FL, to Detroit, so not a long flight. The kids weren't used to getting up so early, but hey, this was vacation. And our son was definitely a cranky 4-year-old kind of worn out from our fun-filled vacation. I got frustrated with him and, in my frustration, told my husband that I would take charge of our daughter (miss not-as-cranky 6-year-old) and he was in charge of little-mister-cranky. (OK, not too gracious of me--I guess I was a little cranky, too.) Hubby agreed. Fine.
We got our seat assignments. DD and I got seats one behind the other mid-plane. I politely asked if someone would move so we could sit together; someone agreed and all was well.
DH didn't fare so well. He was assigned a seat mid-plane, DS was assigned a seat in the back. DH protested--hey, this is a 4-year-old we're talking about here! Flight attendant suggested that he ask passengers to move; he did and none moved. When he talked to the flight attendant, she basically told him it was his problem. He said no dice, her problem. FA made an announcement, asking if anyone would be willing to move so this little boy could sit next to his dad. No takers. (By the way, I swear, I couldn't NOT move for a little one, although I might wait and see if someone else would do it first.) At this point, I was distracted doing something for DD and kind of periphally noted that the boys got seats somewhere.
DD and I got our fabulous breakfast of cold cereal, yogurt, bagels, etc. (this was when you got breakfast even on short flights). After breakfast, DH popped by to say hello. He indicated that, yes, he and DS did end up sitting next to each other. Really, where? Seats 1A and 1B. What, business class? Yup, right behind the cockpit! Nice hot breakfast, by the way--eggs, bacon, fresh OJ. I protested--hey, you've been bumped up to business class several times on business trips, but I've never had that luxury. Let's switch, so I can enjoy business class. His response: Oh, no! What had I decreed earlier? He was responsible for DS, and I was responsible for DD. We had our assignments and we were sticking to them. The cranky boy was his, and he was sitting next to him!
Ok, my words came back to haunt me! And, that little cranky boy spent most of the rest of the flight curled up, asleep, in that nice big, comfy business class seat! The pilot did give him a tour of the cockpit after the flight was over, though!
My story:
Several years ago, my husband and I booked a trip for us and our two children somewhat last-minute. We didn't think it was last minute, but I guess the airline thought so. We tried to get seat assignments, but couldn't; we'd get them when we checked in. Flight to our destination went fine. Different story on the trip back.
Early morning flight, about 6 am departure. Orlando, FL, to Detroit, so not a long flight. The kids weren't used to getting up so early, but hey, this was vacation. And our son was definitely a cranky 4-year-old kind of worn out from our fun-filled vacation. I got frustrated with him and, in my frustration, told my husband that I would take charge of our daughter (miss not-as-cranky 6-year-old) and he was in charge of little-mister-cranky. (OK, not too gracious of me--I guess I was a little cranky, too.) Hubby agreed. Fine.
We got our seat assignments. DD and I got seats one behind the other mid-plane. I politely asked if someone would move so we could sit together; someone agreed and all was well.
DH didn't fare so well. He was assigned a seat mid-plane, DS was assigned a seat in the back. DH protested--hey, this is a 4-year-old we're talking about here! Flight attendant suggested that he ask passengers to move; he did and none moved. When he talked to the flight attendant, she basically told him it was his problem. He said no dice, her problem. FA made an announcement, asking if anyone would be willing to move so this little boy could sit next to his dad. No takers. (By the way, I swear, I couldn't NOT move for a little one, although I might wait and see if someone else would do it first.) At this point, I was distracted doing something for DD and kind of periphally noted that the boys got seats somewhere.
DD and I got our fabulous breakfast of cold cereal, yogurt, bagels, etc. (this was when you got breakfast even on short flights). After breakfast, DH popped by to say hello. He indicated that, yes, he and DS did end up sitting next to each other. Really, where? Seats 1A and 1B. What, business class? Yup, right behind the cockpit! Nice hot breakfast, by the way--eggs, bacon, fresh OJ. I protested--hey, you've been bumped up to business class several times on business trips, but I've never had that luxury. Let's switch, so I can enjoy business class. His response: Oh, no! What had I decreed earlier? He was responsible for DS, and I was responsible for DD. We had our assignments and we were sticking to them. The cranky boy was his, and he was sitting next to him!
Ok, my words came back to haunt me! And, that little cranky boy spent most of the rest of the flight curled up, asleep, in that nice big, comfy business class seat! The pilot did give him a tour of the cockpit after the flight was over, though!
Nov 30th, 2007, 06:19 AM
#50
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"I am sympathetic to families with kids sitting together because, as a mother, I always think that if the plane was going down, I'd want to be sitting next to my kid. Or, if there was an emergency evacuation, I'd want to be next to my kid. Or, if my kid's ears hurt on the descent, I'd want to be next to him. "
Travelgirl2, if the plane is about to go down, I do not want to spend the last minutes of my life contemplating on how I allowed so many to emotionally manipulate me, so often.
Meanwhile, have you ever seen the opera, or heard the CD of, "Miss Saigon"? That piece features a most unsavoury character (the 'Engineer') who, upon realizing what is needed for preferential status to take refuge in the US of A, suddenly affects an heretofore nonexistent interest in the heroine's (American-fathered) child.
Moral of story: even if you find yourself flying with a planeload of sociopaths, aforesaid sociopaths will likely recognize the value of your kid as a 'exit visa' so to speak, and they'll assist your kid to the exit, with all the ruthlessness of sociopaths.
Of course, there is equally the chance that non-sociopaths will also render assistance to your children. Ordinary people will surprise and touch one with their selflessness during (genuine) emergencies, or even merely genuine distressful events (e.g. ear problems). However, to imagine such a scenario requires a more positive frame of mind than one that is preoccupied with imagining rare disastrous outcomes (plane crash) during routine flights.
Travelgirl2, if the plane is about to go down, I do not want to spend the last minutes of my life contemplating on how I allowed so many to emotionally manipulate me, so often.
Meanwhile, have you ever seen the opera, or heard the CD of, "Miss Saigon"? That piece features a most unsavoury character (the 'Engineer') who, upon realizing what is needed for preferential status to take refuge in the US of A, suddenly affects an heretofore nonexistent interest in the heroine's (American-fathered) child.
Moral of story: even if you find yourself flying with a planeload of sociopaths, aforesaid sociopaths will likely recognize the value of your kid as a 'exit visa' so to speak, and they'll assist your kid to the exit, with all the ruthlessness of sociopaths.
Of course, there is equally the chance that non-sociopaths will also render assistance to your children. Ordinary people will surprise and touch one with their selflessness during (genuine) emergencies, or even merely genuine distressful events (e.g. ear problems). However, to imagine such a scenario requires a more positive frame of mind than one that is preoccupied with imagining rare disastrous outcomes (plane crash) during routine flights.
Nov 30th, 2007, 06:23 AM
#51
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One time I gave up my middle seat so a 20-something couple could sit together. (They must have hoped that no one would purchase the seat between them when they booked.)
On one hand, I now had the aisle seat.
On the other hand, the couple spent most of the two-hour flight smooching and crooning to one another.
A seven-year-old with a video game sounds like the better option.
On one hand, I now had the aisle seat.
On the other hand, the couple spent most of the two-hour flight smooching and crooning to one another.
A seven-year-old with a video game sounds like the better option.
Nov 30th, 2007, 06:29 AM
#52
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Anytime you find someone has "commandeered" your set I would, and have, immediately contact the FA and ask that person to tell those people to move.
If you "want to sit together as a family" you get your act together and make appropriate seat assignment choices.
If there "wasn't time" then it's real simple: SUCK IT UP.
Some people will do anything they can to manipulate situations like these to their advantage and when they can use the "family" as some sort of trump card they will do so.
Sorry, play the game the right way or eat it.
If you "want to sit together as a family" you get your act together and make appropriate seat assignment choices.
If there "wasn't time" then it's real simple: SUCK IT UP.
Some people will do anything they can to manipulate situations like these to their advantage and when they can use the "family" as some sort of trump card they will do so.
Sorry, play the game the right way or eat it.
Nov 30th, 2007, 06:46 AM
#53
Someimes I am willing to switch seats to be helpful to my fellow plane mates. I do prefer when the cabin crew is brokering the transaction, rather than another passenger on their own BUT -most importantly- only if it is an aisle seat (which I work very hard to make sure I have!) for an aisle seat. Or in the horrible situation where I've been seated at a window or middle I would gladly switch and sit next to anyone anywhere to get an aisle seat.
Nov 30th, 2007, 07:06 AM
#54
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Once I flew from Vegas to Burb on Southwest with mu 80 year old wheelchair bound mother. It was one of the worst experinces.
We always boarded first with the persons's requiring assistance. The wheelchair did not fit in the aisle so wheeling her to a seat was impossible. She could not walk. When we boarded we saw a young family with toddlers already on board from a connecting flight seated in the bulkhead row. The flight attendant did not ask them to move. I politely explained that my mom could not walk (she was missing a hip with NO bone there & NO hip replacement) and that the chair did not fit in the aisle. They refused to move. The flight attendeant made matters much worse but insistently asking if we were sure my mom couldn't walk. I told her I was sure becuase I was sure she had no bone there at all!
Naturally this is not the way all young families behave.
My point is I would not feel guilty about saying no to them in your situation. Sometimes they get pretty self absorbed and forget about the comfort and courtesy of others. Keep your seat if you want it.
We always boarded first with the persons's requiring assistance. The wheelchair did not fit in the aisle so wheeling her to a seat was impossible. She could not walk. When we boarded we saw a young family with toddlers already on board from a connecting flight seated in the bulkhead row. The flight attendant did not ask them to move. I politely explained that my mom could not walk (she was missing a hip with NO bone there & NO hip replacement) and that the chair did not fit in the aisle. They refused to move. The flight attendeant made matters much worse but insistently asking if we were sure my mom couldn't walk. I told her I was sure becuase I was sure she had no bone there at all!
Naturally this is not the way all young families behave.
My point is I would not feel guilty about saying no to them in your situation. Sometimes they get pretty self absorbed and forget about the comfort and courtesy of others. Keep your seat if you want it.
Nov 30th, 2007, 07:20 AM
#55
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At my airline,flight attendants are not to ask passengers to change seats. I always tell them that they are free to ask for the swap and I will try and help reshuffle .
Stay firm and remember that some people just think that its their right to have the seat they want no matter what.Its all about them! I agree-don't give up your seat unless its a small child separated from their parents.
Whenever I get the hysterical,"I cannot be away from my husband for that long" (and they are usually right across the aisle from them-think aisle/aisle) I always ask how long they have been together and don't they want a break for a few hours-usually gets a smile and "I quess we can sit across from each other."
Stay firm and remember that some people just think that its their right to have the seat they want no matter what.Its all about them! I agree-don't give up your seat unless its a small child separated from their parents.
Whenever I get the hysterical,"I cannot be away from my husband for that long" (and they are usually right across the aisle from them-think aisle/aisle) I always ask how long they have been together and don't they want a break for a few hours-usually gets a smile and "I quess we can sit across from each other."
Nov 30th, 2007, 07:43 AM
#57
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My husband has been asked (for a short flight) to switch with someone from his aisle seat to a middle seat, so she could sit with her 5 year old son. Now, DH is 6'4" with a bum knee - he really does need the aisle to stretch it into. I had the window seat, the middle seat was empty (on purpose).
We did offer to have the son sit in the window seat and her in the middle (or vice versa) and I would sit in the behind my husband in her aisle seat - she took the offer. Like for like is fine by me.
We did offer to have the son sit in the window seat and her in the middle (or vice versa) and I would sit in the behind my husband in her aisle seat - she took the offer. Like for like is fine by me.
Nov 30th, 2007, 08:00 AM
#58
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It's plane rude.
But if they say, would you mind switching your isle seat for another isle seat, I'll listen.
BTW, Rkkwan, British Airways will always give you a free drink. You need to stop flying those, "That will be five dollars," airlines like Continental.
But if they say, would you mind switching your isle seat for another isle seat, I'll listen.
BTW, Rkkwan, British Airways will always give you a free drink. You need to stop flying those, "That will be five dollars," airlines like Continental.
Nov 30th, 2007, 08:02 AM
#59
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I did not when the same thing happened to me on an 9-hour flight from Rome in October. I might have if they had been sitting in their assigned seats and asked me once I got there. But I thought it was pretty rude to plop themselves in my seat, and then ask if we could switch after the fact. Courtesy begets courtesy.
Nov 30th, 2007, 08:18 AM
#60
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I booked seats for my family several months ago and the equiptment has been changed a couple times with our seats getting re-arranged each time. It is easy enough for anyone to keep track of their seats so they can stay seated together. It is very rude to just sit in someone else's seat and expect them to move. What if this seat was reserved as part of a group?
