Germans Beer Guzzling Goes Flat

Old Sep 19th, 2008, 09:31 AM
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Germans Beer Guzzling Goes Flat

Just saw that since the early 90s German beer consumption has fallen 13%

What's up in a country that once supposedly tried to convince or did convince Brusselscrats that beer was a food, not just an alcoholic beverage (I think perhaps to be able to keep their ballyhooed Rheinsgeboten (sp) where beer can only be made of water, yeast, hops and wheat (i think) - no preservatives - i think companies like Heineken thought this was unfair to imported brews which had to travel longer and thus may need preservatives

anyway Germans are drinking less

wonder about the Belgians and Czechs?
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Old Sep 19th, 2008, 03:20 PM
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Hi PQ,

>since the early 90s German beer consumption has fallen 13%...<

They've gotten wealthier.

They've become more health conscious.

They've become effeminate, liberal wine and Brie liberals.

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Old Sep 19th, 2008, 09:10 PM
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>effeminate, liberal wine and Brie liberals.

If eating real (french, italian, german, swiss) cheese is effeminate, I'm happy to pronounce:

I love my fromagerie.
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Old Sep 20th, 2008, 03:23 AM
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>>They've become effeminate<<

It is at least beer what we drink - not coloured water like Budweiser, Coors or Heineken.
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Old Sep 20th, 2008, 04:07 AM
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What's worse, they don't sell any cheese either that would go with the wine. Just imitated cheese made from who knows, so...

Give me swiss cheese, even if it's made from breast milk anytime
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Old Sep 21st, 2008, 02:36 AM
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You need to be plastered to even contemplate eating German food.
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Old Sep 21st, 2008, 02:57 AM
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It is remarkable to read this from a guy who comes from a country whose favourite dish is well-aged fat, solidified to lumps and sticks (also called "fish & chips").

This also explains why being plastered is the English favourite pastime.

Looking forward to your reply, CW.
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Old Sep 21st, 2008, 03:20 AM
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One is prepared to accept criticism from the French or Italians - maybe even the spanish. But to have one's grub monstered by the boche is a step too far.

The only people with worse food are the dutch. That's why dope's legal there - you need to have a serious attack of the munchies to eat it. And they put chocolate sprinkles on everything.

German food is lumps of gristle served with loads of spuds and pickled cabbage. Eaten by fat men dressed in leather trousers and hats with feathers on them while listening to tubas.

That's not a cuisine, that's an absurdist art installation.

The "grub" is so bad for you that they have unique toilets so you can well, well you can guess. Let's not go into that here. It's nasty.

No wonder they keep invading France. They're not actually beligerent, they're just looking for something decent to eat.
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Old Sep 21st, 2008, 03:30 AM
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ps I just found this German restaurant in thailand (why?). Needless to say it's empty:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40G62ZcK6IM
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Old Sep 21st, 2008, 03:42 AM
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Your knowledge of German food is obviously limited to eateries which are specially designed to meet the taste of tourists from countries who munch substances like

- British Sausage: Emulsified High-Fat Offal Tube (according to a BBC TV show).
- Weetabix wholegrain cereal: looks liked dried sheep dung, tastes like dried sheep dung, is….guess what?
- Worcester Sauce: coloured vinegar.
- HP Brown Sauce: thickened vinegar.
- Fish & chips: well-aged fat, solidified to lumps and sticks.
- Butter: would in other countries be sorted out as rancid.
- Sandwich: a white, soft and tasteless compound.
- Pasty: meat-flavoured jello in baked cardboard.
- Buffet bar: a three-layered roll of breadcrumbs, offal and coleslaw.
- Marmite: due to its high purine content an excellent trigger of gout attacks, however with such a disgusting taste that it must be injected into the veins.
- Brown bread icecream: who else is able to create an icecream flavour out of the remains of paper recycling?


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Old Sep 21st, 2008, 03:53 AM
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I find this one most revealing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzeDZtx3wUw
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Old Sep 21st, 2008, 03:58 AM
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- British Sausage: Emulsified High-Fat Offal Tube (according to a BBC TV show).>>>>

The much lamented Yes Minister. Something else the Germans can't do - Comedy.

Proper english sausages are wonderful, and certainly a match for the best of the wursts and way better than the the worst of the wursts.

- Weetabix wholegrain cereal: looks liked dried sheep dung, tastes like dried sheep dung, is….guess what?

Is this only an English thing? It's made by kellogs so I kind of assumed it was pretty universal. You do know you aren't just supposed to eat them out the packet?

You can tile your kitchen with them too. Shredded wheats make excellent bullet proof vests.

- Worcester Sauce: coloured vinegar.>>>>

Vinegar, tamarind, and all sorts of other wonderful things marinated for years. What have the hun got to match? Nowt. That's what.

- HP Brown Sauce: thickened vinegar.>>

See above

- Fish & chips: well-aged fat, solidified to lumps and sticks.>>>>

Are you mad man? Fresh fish and fried potatoes. What's not to love? Beats the crap out of cows-arse suasage that you have to wear special clothes to eat.

- Butter: would in other countries be sorted out as rancid.>>

Mad a shithouse rat this one.

- Sandwich: a white, soft and tasteless compound.>>>>

Globally popular. As opposed to german bread which is best suited for unarmed combat (most german foods have a military use as well - which given their history is understandable. When they're not listening to tubas they're listening to mad austrians and up to all sorts of mischief - the cheeky scamps.)

- Pasty: meat-flavoured jello in baked cardboard.>>>>>

I think this bloke's been on the schnapps. He'll be doing unthinkable things with glass topped coffeee tables next. They do that the germans.

- Buffet bar: a three-layered roll of breadcrumbs, offal and coleslaw.>>>

I'll give you that one - they are horrible.

- Marmite: due to its high purine content an excellent trigger of gout attacks, however with such a disgusting taste that it must be injected into the veins.>>>>

Or spread lightly on toast and eaten by real men.

- Brown bread icecream: who else is able to create an icecream flavour out of the remains of paper recycling?>>>>>

We do have a penchant for mad flavoured things it's true. Prawn cocktail crisps*, hedgehog flavoured crisps, pickled onion flavoured snacks etc. I think it shows a willingness to experiment.

*"Bi curious" women: Eat prawn cocktail crisps. If you like the taste - go for it.
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Old Sep 21st, 2008, 04:05 AM
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You almost convinced me. Maybe English food is not that bad.

I desperately want a recipe for "hedgehog flavoured crisps" - I have a hedgehog in my garden.
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Old Sep 21st, 2008, 04:07 AM
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http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...a36/3c62_1.jpg
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Old Sep 21st, 2008, 04:28 AM
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Oh, I am deeply disappointed. I googled "hedgehog flavoured crisps" and found out, it nothing but a scam. They are not made of real hedgehogs!!!

But please assure me that you regularly eat squirrel brain. I read that this really is an English delicacy.
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Old Sep 21st, 2008, 04:38 AM
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTpoEe9CojY

Facts about Germany
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Old Sep 21st, 2008, 05:18 AM
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Here is the British equivalent (concerning food):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGGFrtOtw6A
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