French Etiquette
Feb 8th, 2005, 06:14 PM
#2
First. Always say hello and good bye Bonjour, Au revoir to ALL shop keepers, people that you meet. Wrists on table, never on lap when eating. I think if one is kind, gracious, you will never have a problem even without knowing French, tho they will appreciate your trying out what few words you know.
Don't yell out for your check in a restaurant.
Don't yell out for your check in a restaurant.
Feb 8th, 2005, 06:19 PM
#3
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When counting, start with your thumb for #1. Number two is then added with your pointer finger ending up with your pinky.
If you aren't careful, you could be on very bad behavior when ordering "two" of anything if you do it in the typical American fashion!
If you aren't careful, you could be on very bad behavior when ordering "two" of anything if you do it in the typical American fashion!
Feb 8th, 2005, 06:29 PM
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Feb 8th, 2005, 07:00 PM
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Try what little French you can. Sometimes they'll act as though you are speaking Japanese but often they'll realize they're English is better than your French. The Frency often know English they don't let on because (I think) they don't want to appear unknowedgeable. For the most part they are very gracious people with an undeserved reputation for rudeness. They are formal and expect the kind of manner many Americans have long since let go of, including me when I'm here at home.
Feb 9th, 2005, 04:07 AM
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cigalechanta, thanks for that link.
On the topic of queues, I've joined a few in French post offices and many in French grocery stores. Everyone seems quite happy to shuffle along in the order they arrived. I did watch a woman queue-jump at the post office in Agde a couple of years ago. There was a bit of hissing and eye-rolling from those in the queue. The postal agent served her, but gave her a frosty lecture on line-ups. Interestingly, the woman then turned around and apologized to all of us still waiting. It's a fascinating society.
The only other thing I'd mention is that you can always expect to use the "vous" form, rather than "tu." As others have observed on Fodors before, addressing someone as "tu" is generally reserved for pets, one's children, close friends, and intimates.
Anselm
On the topic of queues, I've joined a few in French post offices and many in French grocery stores. Everyone seems quite happy to shuffle along in the order they arrived. I did watch a woman queue-jump at the post office in Agde a couple of years ago. There was a bit of hissing and eye-rolling from those in the queue. The postal agent served her, but gave her a frosty lecture on line-ups. Interestingly, the woman then turned around and apologized to all of us still waiting. It's a fascinating society.
The only other thing I'd mention is that you can always expect to use the "vous" form, rather than "tu." As others have observed on Fodors before, addressing someone as "tu" is generally reserved for pets, one's children, close friends, and intimates.
Anselm
Feb 9th, 2005, 04:56 AM
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McBetsy,
I think you have hit the nail on the head. Some French folks will not respond in English because theirs is not so good. It's not, as some have suspected because they are wicked! We advice monolingual visitors to approach people who are by themselves -- that is with no witnesses. We think the success rate is higher if you do that.
I think you have hit the nail on the head. Some French folks will not respond in English because theirs is not so good. It's not, as some have suspected because they are wicked! We advice monolingual visitors to approach people who are by themselves -- that is with no witnesses. We think the success rate is higher if you do that.
Feb 9th, 2005, 05:06 AM
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Don't leap to conclusions that the French are "rude, unfriendly, unhelpful.." etc. Their thinking and responses are conditioned by an entirely different set of cultural 'rules' than how you think and respond or expect others to do.
Smiling is for a reason and for close friends, not for just being happy as you walk down the street.
They might not want to 'insult' you by assuming you can't figure out something, like reading a map or looking for a place. But the minute you indicate you need help, they will be there for you.
They might feel responsible to give an answer to your question, even if it's wrong, rather than say they 'don't know'.
Don't ask too many questions of the same person, especially people who are not in the job of providing tourist information.
Even if you don't know or remember these kind of 'rules', you will be fine if:
- you keep your voice at a moderate level
- you ALWAYS say "Bonjour Madame", "Merci, Monsieur" (don't just walk up and start asking questions, say a greeting first)
- don't handle the merchandise
Absolutely excellent reading:
French or Foe?
Savoir Flair
by Polly Platt
Smiling is for a reason and for close friends, not for just being happy as you walk down the street.
They might not want to 'insult' you by assuming you can't figure out something, like reading a map or looking for a place. But the minute you indicate you need help, they will be there for you.
They might feel responsible to give an answer to your question, even if it's wrong, rather than say they 'don't know'.
Don't ask too many questions of the same person, especially people who are not in the job of providing tourist information.
Even if you don't know or remember these kind of 'rules', you will be fine if:
- you keep your voice at a moderate level
- you ALWAYS say "Bonjour Madame", "Merci, Monsieur" (don't just walk up and start asking questions, say a greeting first)
- don't handle the merchandise
Absolutely excellent reading:
French or Foe?
Savoir Flair
by Polly Platt
Feb 9th, 2005, 05:23 AM
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Very interesting thread. I have ben to Paris a few times and I did not know about wrists on the table while eating or not to handle merchandise.
It is great to learn nw things. My rule of thumb is to always be polite and try to speak (3 years college French) the language, and to be respectful of others there and everywhere.
It is great to learn nw things. My rule of thumb is to always be polite and try to speak (3 years college French) the language, and to be respectful of others there and everywhere.
Feb 9th, 2005, 06:13 AM
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Don't expect the waiter to bring your check automatically. You have to ask for it. Also, the waiters are very professional, even at the smallest coffee shop. All you have to do is catch their eye if you need something. Be polite and gracious at all times.
Feb 9th, 2005, 07:11 AM
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A touch of friendly "attitude" seems to work well. For reasons I don't quite understand, the French do not respond to the meek as well as to people who are a bit "up front". This goes for NYC too. And if you are going to a private residence on your trip, be sure to read Polly Platt's books re cleaning your plate and the use of private restrooms(you don't!). JP
