Donna Barrow

I will be traveling to Paris with my husband and daughter in early June 2001. I have had many people tell me horror stories about Parisian waiters. Are they difficult to deal with and what is the best way to interact with a waiter in Paris? I am brushing up on my conversational French as I have not spoken it in about 25 years. Any advice on dealing with the Parisians and other tips would be greatly appreciated because I like to blend in as much as possible. Thank you for your time.

Donna

We visited Paris twice, ten days each, and visited cafes, brasseries, restaurants all over and do not have a single "horror story". Quite the opposite. Can't wait to go back in June. It helps to know that, in Paris, they don't come rushing right over the second you sit down, service is much slower paced and more relaxed, and you'll have to ask for your check, for example. Many folks report horrible service because they "waitied forever for the check", not realizing it's almost never delivered until you ask. Anyone who hollers "Garcon!" is likely to be ignored... We found the waiters in Paris to be totally charming. I could listen to "My pleasure to serve you Madame" (in English!) about ten thousand more times. It's a good idea to peruse a good menu glossary (an extensive one, not one of those tiny ones) and familiarize yourself with foods, methods of preparation, courses, etc. Cheap Eats in Paris and Food Lover's Guide to Paris both have fabulous tips on dining around Paris.

Bob Brown

I have no horror stories after two visits to Paris where French waiters are concerned. <BR>Just realize that the average waiter or waitress (to use the sexist term I guess) is assigned more tables than he or she can handle quickly. So they are very busy and work hard. <BR>As for blending, good luck. When my wife approached clerks in a store, they started speaking English automatically, even if they didn't know how!! <BR>The crowing glory came when we were walking along and a man came up from behind and said in English to my wife <BR>"Your back pack is unzipped." He had not at the time had a good look from the front! He could tell from the rear view that we were Americans! <BR>And don't sweat the clothes issue. <BR>I have read on this forum that blue jeans were awful etc. Well, I saw all manner of Europeans wearing jeans! <BR>The only place I have been in Europe where jeans would have been out of place was at the Volksoper in Vienna and a couple of moderately fancy restaurants where virtually everyone was dressed nicely. <BR>At the Volksper, I saw no men who were not in a coat and tie. Perhaps there were some guys and/or girls in the upper balconies dressed that way, but not down on the floor. <BR>

francesca

A few tips: <BR>Be smiling but business-like and expect the same treatment from waiters, who will never introduce themselves or ask "is everything ok?" as they do in the US <BR>Just ask for a "carafe d'eau" if you don't wish to pay for bottled water, it's no big deal. Paris tap water is actually very good. <BR>If you hate smoke, try for an outdoor table (even in winter many terraces have heat lamps). Often, the no smoking section is tiny, badly located or non existant. <BR>You can just order a main dish if you want, you do not have to have an appetizer and a dessert(unless you are in a place that only offers fixed price menus). Many people here skip them. <BR>If you are especially happy, leave a 10F coin (more like 50F or 100F in a top restaurant) but no extra tip is expected; it's in the bill. <BR>Do not approach waiters with "Hey, kin I git a coffee?" or any other English phrases. At least learn how to say "Parlez vous anglais?" if you must rely on English. <BR>Bring along a pocket menu translator so you are not left guessing or limited to places with English menus. <BR>Take a look at Patricia Wells' site or the food section of the Intl. Herald Tribune's site (www.iht.com) for good tips on the best restaurants right now. <BR> <BR>Et bon appetit! <BR>

love2trvl

Hi Donna: <BR>First of all have a wonderful trip to Paris! I hope you and your family will love it as much as I do. I can only remember one incident about five years ago with a rude waiter. When he approached I ordered wine for myself and cafe for my mother. The first thing he said was "I do not speak English" to which I replied, "I don't know but that seem to be English to me!! " He looked at me for at least 5 seconds before he could speak again. After that he became very attentive and I have gone back to that brassiere every time I go back to Paris and have seen him each time and we greet each other warmly.... Be polite and patient. I have found that a bonjour (madame or monsieur) and then followed by a Hello and we are well on our way to good service and wonderful food.

Bob Brown

On the smoke issue, we found that the restaurant at Musee d'Orsay has a non smoking area. Also, Bistro de la Gare on Boulevard Montparnasse, near the intersection with Rue de Rennes, has a separate non smoking section inside that is/was a little away from the main area. <BR>The section was new this year. Although the menu at this place seems to stay the same (it was identical this year to last year's issue), the food is fairly cheap and quite good. The meat portions are small, but the salmon is quite good. <BR>

Donna Barrow

I would like to thank you all for the very helpful advice. After I gave the matter a little more thought, I realized that the people who gave me these "horror" stories about rude Parisian waiters are actually rather rude people themselves. I am very excited about my first trip to Paris and I'm going to relax and enjoy myself. I think you are all correct -- if you are gracious, then most people will be gracious in return. Thank you again for your kindness. I will be writing back with questions on other topics regarding my trip because I am trying to do as much research as possible beforehand. This is a wonderful site!

elaine

Dear Donna <BR>I'm glad that everyone allayed your concerns. I am a big Paris fan as well, and have never had a consistent problem, only the occasional cranky person one might encounter anywhere. <BR>I have restaurant and sightseeing ideas in my Paris notes; if you want to see them, email me. <BR>The very fact that you are brushing up on your French, however limited it is, will go a long way toward ensuring pleasant interactions in Paris--most Parisians seem to appreciate the effort, even if a moment later you both switch to English.

Cindy

Donna, <BR>I just returned from Paris, and I speak not one word of French. Everyone (and I mean everyone) was unbelievably nice, helpful and professional. I started every conversation in horrific French, sometimes reading straight from a phrase book. I received amused smiles and answers in English and excellent treatment. I can't wait to go back!

e

Had a lovely time this past June. <BR>French were fine; they dont like loud noisy people, esp. kids though, ironically, the loudest kids we saw were <BR>french. Oh well. Just be polite & try french. PS we ate at lots of Italilan restaurants in Paris since my kid hates french food. the Italian waiters were very charming! Try Felini near the Louvre---great clams & pasta & not too $$$.

Donna Barrow

Elaine, I sent you an e-mail asking you to forward your notes about restaurants, sights, etc., in Paris. I appreciate your assistance.

Lois

I have been to Paris twice and have never had a horror story. In fact, some people have actually gone out of their way to be of help. I do research before a trip like you are doing and it helps alot. Try speaking just a little French and you will be surprised how friendly Parisians can be. I am planning another trip to Paris next year and am looking forward again to be "Parisian" for a while. Have fun and bon chance!!

Melissa

Donna, I don't speak French, either! But the French seem to appreciate when you make the effort, even if you cannot pronounce the words that well. I always carry a French-English dictionary with me because I cannot for the life of me pronounce the words for tap water correctly! So I bring out the dictionary and point to the words, and the waithelp is usually amused but bring me EXACTLY what I want. <BR> <BR>More & more Parisans are speaking English now, so you should have no trouble. And interestingly enough, they have been exceptionally warm & gracious to me everytime I go.

Melissa

p.s. Watch out for pickpockets on the subways!! Just keep your belongings very close to you, especially when getting on & off. That is their prime time for trying to hit on tourists. My brother had really quick reflexes--in a split second he pinned the gypsy girl to the train door as the train was sounding to leave, so she & her partner had no choice but to surrender his wallet and escape or be trapped in the train with us.