WillTravel,
"she was into the TV show Survivor, when she and her gardners dug out a fire pit in their back yard and she had them shirtless holding spears while she set up a teriyaki barbeque".
O! Just noticed - there were several of them ... O, boy !

Ummm! Now another piece of truth/fiction has fallen into our laps...kerploop!

Orlando!

I kinda liked Flower The Suspender myself...got a certain kind of ring to it!

That scene about the wide skirts and the gloved hand holding wide brimmed hat in place, that scene won't have come out of Gone With the Wind, would it?

Now that I think of it, I can see how all this fits together very well.

Chapter... [what chapter are we on now?]
Title: Somewhere Along the Amalfi Coast

Offshore the blue Mediterranean sparkled, while onshore on the edge of the cliff paraded four naked Norwegian gardeners (very skilled at growing flowers in snow) holding Cousin aloft on their broad shoulders while she, dressed in a wide skirt,is desperately holding onto her wide brimmed hat with her gloved hand. Behind them holding aloft a gigantic parasol is Orlando - in his suspenders - shading Cousin from the fierce Italian sun. And behind him is Faith, carrying all the luggage.

I smell Degas' or his cousin's hand in all this!

Hmmmm....the more I listen (yes, listen) to everything Faith types, the more it sounds like our good friend Degas, pulling our collective legs!!

Degas? That you, honey?

LOL easytraveler!!! Great minds think alike!

If she's afraid of the water, would she be afraid of pool boys?

Bring along a couple of pool boys to fan palm fronds at you because you might get overheated looking at shirtless Norwegians.

And if she's afraid of water, why is she watching Survivor? The show is set on a desert island.

Oh easytraveler, thanks for the laugh! I especially like the details -- the Norwegian gardners are good at growing flowers in the snow!

easytraveler, you have described a scene from one of my favorite artists:
Lawrence Alma-Tadema. Bambi and I used to collect prints of his paintings.

It sounds like a good scene, except for me carrying the luggage, that won't happen.

As for Survivor, sometimes the things we fear most have a fascination about them. She will use any excuse to have her gardners strip to the waist anyway.

But enough about me......I have to get back to researching sites. About how long does a good tour of Pompeii take?
And if Mt. Vesuvius is getting ready to erupt, are all tours up there off?

One more question, what about the funicular up one of the mountains that you catch by Herculanium? Has anyone done this? I might like to try it.

Thanks.

Faith, if you really want an answer to your last travel questions I suggest a separate post. This one has traveled so far down the yellow brick road you have lost many fodorites who might be able to answer those specific questions.

Taking your existence on faith,
Marilyn

To allay any concerns about the water in Venice, just tell her that in order to get to Rome, you'll have to sit in a big jet-powered metal tube flying 600mph at 35 thousand feet over the Atlantic ocean. It worked for my mom.

Thanks Marilyn, I will, good idea.

Faith, As a newcomer to Fodors you may not realize, that it is polite and expected you post a Trip Report *after* you return to share all the details of how your Holiday went with those who answered your many planning questions. Don't forget! We'll be waiting!!

Yes, I have read some trip reports and will surely write one, but you have to promise to believe it!

Odd things happen to us when we travel (with Cousin in the US) so I am sure we will have adventures in Italy too.

Maybe I will write while we are there, will my laptop work if I plug it in with an adapter or will it blow up?

Most laptops have built-in transformers that "read" the current coming out of the wall. You might just double-check though.

Correct, Marilyn, although people who regularly stay in relatives' homes in a variety of European cities probably already know the answer to that question. Could it maybe be a troll?

One of the tip offs is the post announcing that Faith had purchased a 22" piece of luggage to go along with her 24" piece of luggage. Hello, I can't believe those of you who live out of a sandwich bag for six weeks at a time didn't climb all over that one.

This is such a load of troll bait. And even if in the remotest possible universe faith is not a troll, I would have trouble offering genuine travel advice to an adult to still refers to her uncle as "Uncle."

Oh well, the alternative is filling out all the tax info for the accountant.

My my you all will pick me to pieces!

It is a new laptop, I don't know that much about them.
You even pick apart my luggage, I am still working on that part, why don't you give me advice?
If I said Uncle's name how would you know who he is? If I say the name Paul, do you know which relative I am talking about?
Enough with the picking apart, please.

(OYeOfLittle)Faith, if your laptop is new it certainly has a built-in transformer.

A 22" and a 24" is way too much luggage unless Orlando is carrying it. Just take the 24" and be sure you can lift it yourself. (How many hat boxes and trunks did you say Bambi was taking?)

If you're for real, I suggest you register with a new name for your cut-and-dried travel questions, and leave Bambi and the rest of that branch of the family out of it. But by all means post your trip report under faithonholiday. We'll all be waiting to hear about the adventures.

Righto Marilyn! I will think up a nice blase' name for my questions, did you see my Purgatory Question?

I thought taking light luggage would be a good idea so I bought the two small bags (Swiss), but they don't fit together, so I might give one to her and take another one.

Don't joke about the hat boxes, she just may bring some! She is still set on the 1940 Grande Tour Theme of dressing, now I have probably set off some more pickers, I don't think I can win here.

Bye for today ladies and gentlemen!

BR: High Five!!

Marilyn: No, no, I should thank YOU! If you hadn't encouraged me, I would still be lurking! This is soooo much fun! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Faith: duty called and I had to leave, and now it's dinner time, but - have FAITH - I'll come back to analyze your luggage and computer situation to help you on your trip to Italy!

Faith: Don't hook up that laptop anywhere near water. You know the scenario with water and electricity - zzzzZZZZZAAAAAPPPPPP! and you're mulch for the sister's garden.