Let me possibly be the 100th person to reply. I LOVE THIS THREAD!!! Mike

I wonder if Bambi is as afraid of forests as she is of water? -

In the interests of accuracy, let me point out that Faith has declined the offer of a bodyguard. Just Faith and Bambi, alone in the big city. I, too, cannot wait for the trip report.

tinarose: Of course, in the realm of probabilities and possibilities, Faith's story could be true after all.

But what kind of business is Uncle in that he needs a BODYGUARD???

A Bodyguard? If Faith had said "chauffeur" or "butler" or "private pilot" or "private yacht captain" - but BODYGUARD???

If Uncle can afford a bodyguard, would he not have popped for some sort of special NURSE to go along on the trip, given the frail condition of his offspring?

Well, I await further correction and elucidation!

Also in the interests of accuracy, my understanding was that Uncle has a personal assistant whom he was offering AS a bodyguard, not that Uncle actually had his own bodyguard.

I think we have a modern day Charlotte Vale from "Now Voyager".....

Good one KE1TH! I wonder if Bambi smokes ...

StCirq: Thank you! I stand corrected!

But, you must admit, the scenerio gets harder and harder to swallow.

On some other thread, the "bodyguard" is amended to "a wizoned old man with suspenders".

Now, if I were Faith, I would be double groaning aloud. Not only is she saddled with a hydrophobic cousin, but now she has to deal with a wizened old man who is probably standing upright only because he's held up by his suspenders.

Can YOU see travelling through Italy with responsibility for companions like that? Would Uncle please step forward with his millions and hire a strong young man??? MAAASSSSIMMMOOO!

easy, LOL at the idea of the bodyguard barely standing on his own!

This reply should top the thread for Ziana, who needs to be up to speed before she can play "Name the bodyguard."

Well, well, where to start!?
You know, I think my life is just like everyone else's - my friends say I just have a way of telling common events in an interesting manner.

I will only say a few things, we have friends and relatives in other countries where we can stay in their homes, not so unusual. When I go to Britain I stay in their homes and they stay in mine when here.

The assistant would come along to help us, but I don't want him too and his name is......Orlando.

Oh, the apartment is fine for us in Rome, but Uncle is still working on one in the South, which we chose only for the warmth at this time of year. We will have access to a driver to get us from Rome to....whereever (we may have a place for us in Piano di Sorrento, so I am looking up that area). I think it means the upper part of Sorrento?

Bambi is all caught up in the trip planning now, she thinks we should do the trip in style, that is Old Movie Style, and wear full skirts and wide brimmed hats which we will hold onto in the wind in the piazzas with our gloved hands.

This is better than a few weeks ago when she was into the TV show Survivor, when she and her gardners dug out a fire pit in their back yard and she had them shirtless holding spears while she set up a teriyaki barbeque.

So, see, life goes on at the Bambi household and I, Faith, report it to you so you can help me prepare for my trip.

OK, come out whoever hired intertainer for Fodorites ... come one, we all know by now there is no such (**(&*however they do this) could exist in the world.

What was that about $100.00 per day ?

Looks to me like the jig is up. Good job, Faith =D>

By the way, the gardners are Norweigan brothers, so no racism was involved (re branch spears, etc).

Bye for now.

Shirtless Norwegian gardeners with spears...oh my what an image! Faith, you have a gift for fiction, dear.

...or some form of shizoid

To get your minds off of my family and onto travel, here is a website you might find intereting. I was looking for information of The Arco Felice which my Uncle always talks about, he played near here as a child.

http://touritaly.org/

(It is not so strange to dig a fire pit, is it? Surely some of you have?
And some of you have wanted to dress
as my cousin wants to?)

Maybe we are a little different, but I can't believe it.

Digging a fire pit: not strange
Making your shirtless gardners hold spears while doing so: very, very strange indeed

When you're finished with the shirtless Norwegians, could you send them my way?

Nothing like a little eye candy while doing chores at home.

ncdgrrl,
you don't think they come for free, do you?
If they are - send it my way before your eye gets diabetic ;

I'm thinking there might be a grain of a real question here. Perhaps the original poster is herself a woman who is a little frightened of venturing out alone, and so concocted this scenario to get ideas to help. Then more and more questions are asked, and it gets more and more ridiculous, and we're off to the races! But maybe someone will get some good ideas anyway.