Thanks Jocelyn, my very first post got deleted so this was my second first post with the same question which stayed.

Odd how it worked out, but I love the people on this forum.

Hmmmmm..... so the first post was about Stendhal Syndrome?

and quotes 'I walked with the fear of falling' ??

Think we've been had

...and I thought we had some real winners over on the US fourum! LOL!
R5

faith:

I don't want to burst an obviously already fragile bubble (and I DO commend you for taking your cousin on a trip that could so easily turn out to be a huge burden), but to me Rome is a rather difficult city, and I say this from the perspective of someone who has spend a huge amount of time traveling in Europe in the past 25+ years and who speaks Italian. It's FAR more problematic than Venice, with its crazy traffic, whimsical closings of historical sites, chaotic public transportation, pickpockets on the metro, etc. Venice is a breeze by comparison.

I just do not understand the logic of your cousin's parents. Obviously, they know nothing at all about Europe and are fixated on the water issue, which is - face it - a total non-issue. I would hope that your cousin would use this trip as an opportunity to figure that out for herself.

Whether it's water or Italian drivers or cliffs over the Mediterranean or erupting volcanoes, this trip is bound to elicit some scary moments for your cousin, and possibly you. What if the day you take the drive to Sorrento it's pouring cats and dogs and your driver is going 140 kph? Isn't that going to be FAR more scary than walking alongside a canal in Venice? There are SO many possibilities for things far scarier than Venice in your proposed itinerary that it's really kind of funny, in a sad way.

And if Sorrento isn't a problem, why is the Lakes district? What could possibly be frightening about being near an Italian lake?

I'm sorry, but this whole plan is utterly devoid of any semblance of logic.

I think either your cousin is going to cut loose and go completely wild on you, or you're going to shoot yourself for ever having dreampt up this plan.

I just don't understand why it's so difficult to understand that some people who have no idea what Italy is really like would have illogical fears and wish for illogical things.

Or, why is it so difficult to understand that someone, somewhere could have lived such a sheltered upbringing that even as a 40-year-old adult they cow-tow to their parents' wishes because they don't know any better.

Of course this isn't true of MOST people, but to assume it NEVER happens just because it never happened to you???? I think some of you are more naive than Faith's cousin.

And I did see Faith's real first post that has somehow magically disappeared. Though I only saw it with one reply, so maybe others were worse. It was not as detailed as her "second" first post, though.

Faith - Go, take Bambi on vacation and have fun. Rome will be great for you, even if you are severely limited in what you do for her protection. You'll have a wonderful time, and if nothing else, you'll get a feel for what you want to do on your next trip to Rome, with no Bambi to hold you back.

People, please offer constructive ideas rather than letting your chins hang to the floor in disbelief. Even if Faith weren't real, there are plenty of people who need help all the time trying to decide what to do in Italy.

I can really relate to the cousin's problem, as we have a friend who is deathly afraid of birds. That too makes travel difficult, but she's found ways to cope.

I have to agree with Jenifer. Take my co-worker for instance, as a child he was dunked in a wading pool and to this day (he is 49) he has not set foot in a pool, a lake, the ocean or anything deeper than a bathtub.
After reading this thread earlier today I asked him if he would go on a gondola or vaporetto in Venice,he is a world traveler, and he said no. I asked why and he said "I can't swim".

There is a big world out there and all kinds of people living in it as we find out when we travel as well as in our own back yards.

Travel is stressful. Even birthday celebrations can be stressful. Long flights and crossing several time zones and missing sleep can be extremely stressful, even for healthy people with relatively normal life experiences. I think long flights across time zones create the the kind of stress that can often weaken an otherwise strong, healthy person's immune system, making a person more susceptible to colds, etc. From a few anecdotes that I've heard, it seems it may also be the kind of stress that can trigger panic attacks or exacerbation of mental illness conditions that have been under control for a long time.

Therefore it may be risky for a person with the kind of personality, emotional conditions, and experiences that you describe in your cousin to break away with such a big bang by taking a big trip to Europe, with a birthday thrown into the mix besides. Maybe a small-scale foreign vacation closer to home would be a safer start, e.g., a long weeknd in Quebec City. But if you're determined to take her to Italy (my favorite), maybe a carefully selected package bus tour would be best. That way, just in case there are problems, you'd be able to concentrate on caring for your cousin, without having to deal with the practicalities of transportation, and you'd have someone who could connect you with local professional help, if necessary. Or, if expense is not a concern, you could plan a trip using a private driver.

I personally found Rome hard to deal with more than 30 years ago. I think there are plenty of things to be rationally afraid of in Rome, and it would not be my choice if I needed to help someone have a relatively easy travel experience. If you want to change your focus and choose a particularly safe, easy part of Italy that is beautiful and interesting and not too "watery," you might consider the Umbria region (though crossing the bridge over the gorge in Spoleto might be too scary). Since I don't think your cousin would feel like she's about to fall into the Arno, Florence would be a very good destination, and side trips to other towns and smaller cities in Tuscany can be done very easily by public transportation from there.

Am I missing something here? Is Rome hell? Granted the traffic can be a little interesting - but other than that what could possibly be scary about Rome? You're not going up the Amazon in a canoe! There are no wars! No earthquakes or forest fires! No troups of bandits! No dangerous wild animals (unless you count the cats in the forum trying to steal lunch)! From Faith's description her poor cousin certainly seems to have some life issues - but nothing that would rise to the level of mental illness (many people have all kinds of phobias - I really get creeped out by snakes - it doesn't make me mentally ill). Faithonholiday is trying to do something very exciting and enjoyable to help her cousin - why make it seem so difficult?

My compliments, Faith, for one of the most successfully, longest-running troll postings yet on Fodor's!

Just for the record, I don't think this is a troll post. And since it's kept so many of us amused and involved, who cares if it is? Any trolls out there who can come up with unusual and thought-provoking situations are welcome to post IMO.

Not only do I think it's a troll, I'd be willing to bet I know who it is. And considering the rise it got out of some of the "experts", it's been a great job!

OK, Grasshopper, who do you think it is?

Ohhhhhhhh, I think I know who you're thinking of, Grasshopper; the phrase "on holiday" is very British, or should I say, United KINGDOM. Hmmmmmmm....

Yeah, come on, Grasshopper, tell us. If the thread gets too contentious, it'll just get locked down.

Far be it for me to kick apart Faith's sand castle so publically. Marilyn, I emailed you with my speculation.

Good Morning All.
StCirq and CMT, I agree with you that we are both taking on more than we can chew and it bothered me all night and I kept waking up thinking I was wading in a canal!
Grasshopper, you don't know me as far as I know (we could be neighbors for that matter) but you don't know me on Fodors Talk that I do know.
I'm not from the UK, but some family members are and I like the word "holiday" better than "vacation" which sounds like something to do with bovine to me, lol.
Anyway, I guess since the tickets are already purchased I will trudge along with the plans, I am thinking of just letting Uncle do most of it and let this be her trip all the way, we do good deeds for strangers, why not for relatives whom we love?
I am going to request an hotel away from the center in a more residential area which should be calmer.

Well, over to the drawing board....

I definitely agree that Britain would be simpler. Italy requires a certain willingness to accept adventure with common sense caution.

Here's my hopefully constructive suggestion - since the air tickets are purchased, knowing trains are out, etc.

Money doesn't seem to be a problem this trip. I suggest for Faith, take as much as you can and don't be afraid to spend it to ease your way!

Hire a private driver for 1/2 day or day tours. Take organized formal guided city tours. Avoid public transportation and take taxis as needed.

Since the stress level seems pretty high for this trip already and adventure-tolerance somewhat low... sheltering yourself from the hassles of normal travel should make it simpler for you both.

Why not just spend all the time at the airport?
After all, you can get everything there, a hotel, food and shopping. Of course you'll have to fly over water.
You could always take the overland route to Italy but I believe that you can only do it if you begin the journey when the Bering Strait is frozen.