suze

My suggestion is you or he also read on The Thorn Tree forum at www.lonelyplanet.com You'll find experiences from travelers in your son's age bracket who have done exactly what he is proposing.

While perhaps "the world is different today" I disagree strongly that "you have to have plans". Loads of kids in that age group are backpacking in Europe, staying in hostels. As long as he understands the basic legal requirements and has saved up some money for the trip, I don't see the problem.

concernedparent

Dear Sassafrass and suze,

Thanks so much for your input. Again, I am beginning to realize the feasibility/acceptability of our son going on this adventure 'freestyle' without a planned itinerary.
suze - I will check out & pass along the lonelyplanet hint.
Sassafrass - how did your daughter find her various jobs & don't you have to have a visa if you are going to be employed?
TO ALL - I am going to share everyone's posts with dad/DH this evening...I know it will help convince him. I'd still love to hear from anyone else out there.
CP

ira

Hi CP,

>Any advice on health insurance since he will be off dad's policy if he is not a full-time student?<

A: If the family insurance plan will cover him in Europe, sign him up as a FT student at the local community college for the semester during which he will be gone.

B: See www.insuremytrip.com

concernedparent

Hi "ira",

Thanks for the tip - ? did you mean to register at the comm. college in our hometown? How does he accomplish that if he won't be attending classes? Or have i misunderstood you? CP

crazychick

He does not need a full plan, part of the fun in backpacking is being free to go where you like with loose plan. It might be a good idea if you feel more comfortable if he just gives you an outline of the countries he is aiming to go. There are loads of internet cafes and many hostels have internet access. So he could keep in touch via email so you would know where he was.

escargot

We are in the U.S., my son is a senior in college. He has travelled alone and with friends since his junior yr in high school - alone as a junior to Utah, for an internship and hiking; as a senior to Spain with friends; and since then hiking and sight seeing in South Korea, Colombia, India, England and more -
this summer, he drove cross country in the U.S. -
he wishes he'd done that and for longer -

I saw it mentioned up above - it is not a bad compromise if you are concerned with him being out of country (don't know his ability to be independent, responsible, street smart, etc) -

Yes, anything can also happen in the U.S., but you are also in the U.S. and likely more comfortable with health care and other options getting him home or getting to him -

nice to know your own country before visiting others - there is also lots to learn here - my son hiked south Korea with a high school roommate from there who had done it previously - sort of a 'mandatory' hike in his own country before he was allowed to go elswhere....interesting I thought.

Either way, you can also have him look into American Express medical coverage, which is what we did since we already had AmEx cards, for a small amount of $ it covered, in an emergency, getting one of us to him or vice versa , other evacuations, medi-vacs, etc -
just another option for you to look at.

I say him b/c I feel if my kids are old enough to do something, and responsible enough, they can make me feel even more confident by finding out these things on their own - have him make the calls, make the plans, do the research - if he isn't willing to do all the work, it may or may not even happen

And, with the wait on passports, if you and hsuband do not have them, make sure you get them in case you need to go there for some reason.

Otherwise, if he is not the least bit interested in seeing the U.S. (by train, bus, plane, staying in hostels, etc) he is certainly old enough if this is what he wants to do and pay for himself and PLAN himself = plan as far as what countries, what immunizations he needs if any and how far ahead, what hostels are available generally in each location, what he would do about phone , email, etc looking thru guide books and having some general plan to present - (my opinion, anyway)

Traveling is a marvelous way to learn - if it doesn't work out for him this time, he can do it as my son has in summers, college breaks, college study abroad, and most likely as the talk is going, he is going to take a year off after college and travel some more.

good luck !

mcnyc

Speaking as a child who was refused this opportunity, I say follow the advice you've received here and let him go. As long as you feel you've raised him well, he is now old enough to be responsible.

I agree with those here who said the traveling would help him focus and prioritize at a younger age. It's much better than him finishing college straight through, not knowing what he wants to do with his degree, then drifting about in decent jobs while he figures out life. He'll have figured something out during his travels.

Oh, one thing. Make sure he takes proper leave from his college so when he returns, he can just pick up where he left off.

Excuse me while I head off and figure out how to get a sabbatical from work so I can do what your son plans to do.

concernedparent

Dear mcnyc,
Thank you for the wonderful reply. And you are correct....better to go, discover, learn from mistakes, succeed as well...He is working/trying to find the info. at his college about leaving on good terms as you suggested. We also need to find out about his student loan as I believe they will expect repayment to begin if he is not there as a full-time student.
Thanks again...CP

concernedparent

Discussions are progressing with our son and his excitment is building at the thought of really being able to do this. We'd still love to hear any additional thoughts and advice as this forum has already provided him with a wealth of information.
We have an additional request for info. from ira and sassafrass....
'ira' as a professor for many years any advice on how he should approach college administration/professors with his plan of leaving college after this semester as he wishes to exit in good standing? He does want to return "sometime" in the future.
Sassafrass, you mentioned your daughter had worked various jobs while in Europe....how she did find out about employment opportunities? We thought a visa was necessary if you planned on taking even a temp job.
Regards, CP

suze

I truly think the best thing you can do is let HIM plan this trip. Certainly you can review things with him as the plans progress. And make sure he has any deal-breaker bases-covered (like a current passport and sufficient funds).

I'm certainly much older and never was a backpacker, but I often travel solo (female) and have been to Europe 5 times. I never arrange anything past my round-trip plane ticket and a hotel reservation in my chosen cities.

You could both agree he'll keep in touch with you by using internet cafes every few days along the way.

ira

Hi C,

>..advice on how he should approach college administration/professors with his plan of leaving college after this semester as he wishes to exit in good standing? He does want to return "sometime" in the future.<

He goes to his faculty advisor and tells him/her his plans. If there is any necessary paperwork, it will be provided.

concernedparent

Dear suze and others,

I agree, and I should let you all know that through your advice/comments/info. the planning or lack thereof for this adventure IS in our son's hands. It is on his dime..he wants to come home and work Jan-June full-time to save his $$ and then depart. He has been thrilled with all of the support your responses have given him. He will be posting his own questions to all of you soon as he has realized what a tremendous avenue of information this forum is. The ball is in his court....and when he leaves I'll just have to wait stateside for him lob it back once in awhile. The cage door is open..........
Regards, CP

concernedparent

Thanks again 'ira' - your original post to me, as a professor, really went a long way to turning my mother's heart around about this....I am so excited for him...I can hear, in his voice, something I haven't heard for awhile now..
CP

padams421

My 40-something husband did a similar trip when he was your son's age. He wandered all the way around the world in about 9 months, starting on the west coast, then Asia, northern Africa, and Europe. He had a fantastic trip. Our sons are amazed at his pictures and stories of his adventures. I'm glad he got the backpacking thing done before I came along (nothing less than 3 stars for me ). My MIL was hysterical at the time that he wouldn't finish school. He came home ready to finish college, and went straight on to graduate school.

Tell your son that he has to do a trip report on Fodors when he gets back.

TexasAggie

Hi c,

I studied abroad for a short summer semester in college, during the midst of blowing through school and finishing with a BBA and MS in exactly 4 years total. I consider it (rushing straight through school to get a set of degrees in &quot;reliable&quot; accounting) to be about the worst experience I have ever made. I did go on a backpacking trip of several weeks between graduation and starting work, but <b>to this day</b> (five years after graduation) utterly regret not taking a year off and traveling during the 18-22 year-old phase of my life. Once you finish school and start working, it's so much more difficult to take a year off to follow your dreams. I hope your son is able to make it happen!

LJ

As the parent of a young woman who took a gap year and then went on to a successful university career (straight &quot;A&quot;s, valedictorian for her year and on to career in publishing), I would say the two things are indeed linked.

She was able to settle down to her studies because of the break. She learned what she wanted to achieve and learn at home from traveling abroad.(She also paid for 80% of the trip herself-the rest was a gift from a travel-savvy grandparent.)

The only advice I woud have for conpar is that YOU need to have the reassurance of regular communications from your son. Whether this is a regular Sunday phone date or twice-weekly email updates or whatever...this is essential for your peace of mind and his developing sense of responsibility. Luckily contemporary global cell phones make all this easier on you both!

Julie_Hurst

When DH, DS, &amp; I were in Ostia Antica, we met a lovely Australian young woman on her gap year. She was at the end of her trip &amp; was to return home in about 2 weeks. What she longed for the most was familiar food, especially Mom's cooking! Said she had lost a lot of weight!

As a parent, I would feel more comfortable with my child (18 yo maybe, but still my child!) traveling Europe over the US - too much crime in the US. Except for watching for pickpockets, we never feel unsafe in Europe.

IMO, even if he &quot;plans&quot;, he will not follow it. As the young lady we met, he will make friends in the hostels &amp; travel with them until their travel goals divide them!

If he is inclined in the writing area, he should keep a very thorough journal (can do so via email in the many internet cafes) &amp; write a book when he returns. Until this board, I had never heard of gap travel. Many in the US, like me, have never heard or considered it. A book in journal or how-to form would be successful, I would think.

Reminds me of our #1 son who was born &amp; raised in Indiana. After high school he decided to join the Merchant Marines!!! Where the heck did that come from? Middle of Indiana = no water area here! He had never even been on a plane. He did all of the research &amp; discovered the big bucks available while seeing the world &amp; without the &quot;contract&quot; of the military. He made all of the arrangements &amp; made a BIG pot full of money. Each sailor can select the ship &amp; itineray, so he went all over the world, met a lot of people, &amp; even raced horses around the pyramides in Egypt with his buddies! When the wanderlust was over, he left the big money &amp; the world &amp; came home.

Happy travels to your son, Julie

escargot

I'm glad for him - and you ! This is what parenting is really all about - learning to let go and watch them find their life.

I will admit, there were times when my son was in India or South Korea and couldn't be in a touch as often as I would have liked and I loved his emails and most of all, the written letters !! I rec'd when he was too far from email or phone - although I'd usually speak to him or get an email looong before the letters arrived, I cherished those and still do -

It is hard, you worry - but you know, we worry when they go out for a Saturday night, I worried no less when he was driving across the U.S. - you just worry, we love them, we can't help it -
but we let them go

concernedparent

thanks escargot -
We, as parents, are fortunate with technology today....he can check in with us via e-mail so we know he's alive and well...I am amazed at how many hostels offer internet access for a nominal fee!
Mom is convinced...our son is still working on Dad though....
Regards, CP

escargot

well cp, that all depends on where he goes....if he goes to some of the more remote areas my son did, there was no always internet or a place to charge a cell phone ......and so we waited like in the old days ! But whatever, you will pull through - keep us posted.