This here urgent request for assistance is not for me, you understand, it's for my dumb cousin who is getting uppity and wants to improve himself.

Yes, Leroy wants to surprise his wife when they go to Paris. Sort of like an extreme make-over thing you see every time you flip the channel on cable.

Now the poor boy is plain lame when it comes to getting gussed up, he bathes once a week, and shaves every month, but it's the colors and textures that give him a dang awful problem. You see he is near color-blind and wore a uniform for many years (think prison pinstripes). He tends to wear lime green, fuchsia, fire engine red, and mauve on occasion. Hardly wears black at all.

Anyway, he's got black wavy hair, brown eyes and an olive complexion.

So here's the question: What kind of clothes and colors should he be wearing to a right fancy eating place in the City of Light?

He wants to get the motor really running hot on the old lady, if you get my drift! Impressing some discerning continental dinners would also be a plus.

This here swamp boy needs help in the worse darn way. Comments on jackets, shirts, shoes, belts and ties would also be welcome.

Please help Leroy be savvy and deboner abroad. Who knows, he might be sitting at a table right next to you!

Can he say "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", if he can he is golden (and deboner). Black, grey, khaki all mix and match...no chartreuse allowed;-).

I think a nice lime green silk suit would be lovely. Add a mauve satin dress shirt and accent with a very wide tie patterned in fushia and fire engine red.

If he wants to be really stylish, he should consider purchasing some hunter green (I know he doesn't wear this color.) sneakers with perhaps a swish of lime green to match the silk suit.

A black watch band set with diamonds would set the whole outfit apart from the riff raff and drive his wife crazy.

This is a good way to use colors that make Leroy comfortable and still allow him to be at the height of fashion.

Hey SalB,
>I think a nice lime green silk suit would be lovely. Add a mauve satin dress shirt and accent with a very wide tie patterned in fushia and fire engine red.<

ROFLOL

My LW and I were enjoying the sights of Naples, wondering why everyone *wasn't* wearing black, when we came across an gentleman of some years surrounded by his entire family (40-50 people) apparently out for an important event.

His very wide tie was gold. Otherwise you are right on the money.

Degas,

Leroy needs a fashion consultant. OK, here I am. Polyester Leisure Suit, gold chain, platform shoes. Have his hair cut into a "mullet". Ready for the disco scene. He will be the talk of the town. "Literally"!

Hey Wren,

Are Polyester Leisure Suits back in? I think mine is in a trunk somewhere.

Right fine recommendations for sure.
My head is spinning with all the head-turning combinations.

Disco is big around here - we always have been cutting edge on cultural trends and show like to "boggie down".

I'll ask Roscoe, the barber, about the mullet hair style and I'm sure we can rustle up a pair of platform shoes.

degas, just lend the poor guy some of your own favorite clothing items. That should do the trick.

shellio, I would but we are not the same size. He's a puny xxx-large.

See my comments on dressing <i>in a jacket</i> on http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...p;tid=34525128

Best wishes,

Rex

Anybody got a pink Nehru jacket and matching polyster pants with a white artificial leather belt you could lend this guy? Or, better yet, sell them to him? Paris will swoon.

Guys... I seem to recall a post from Degas requesting guidance in learning to appreciate wine. I think this post may be a similar poll for real suggestions, in spite of the way D. always couches his remarks in over-the-top humor...Help the guy out..?

Increasing the amount of Internet Fame to a full 20 minutes would probably do more good than anything else.

OK, I'm just a girl, but I have a few simple suggestions for Leroy:
Forget the color of the clothes for a moment, and concentrate on these simple basics, guaranteed to wake up the bumble bees in any girl's heart.

A) Shave daily, not monthly

B) Shower daily, not weekly

C) Erase the phrase &quot;Old lady&quot; forever from thought and speech, and replace it with &quot;Cherie&quot;, &quot;lovely lady&quot;, or &quot;darling heart &quot;. No, wait! &quot;Babe&quot; has to go too! Try &quot;Mon petit B&eacute;b&eacute;...&quot;

D) Hair: A mullet might be cool, if you update it with the use of Product. (For the meaning and uses of &quot;Product&quot; see Queer eye for the Straight Guy)

E) Compliment your lady at least once every half hour, tell her she is beautiful, and mean it. Do it in a low voice spontaneously, so she knows it's meant for her ears only. If you do this, it will not matter too much what color your shirt is.

F) Make sure your socks match.

G) Wear toned down colors, with black hair and brown eyes, Leroy can wear most any color, even pink! don't be afraid to mix colors and textures, then use your tie for a brighter flash of color. A jacket is a must in a fine restaurant. Don't mix polka dots and plaids though.

H) Most important: be yourself, your sense of humor is a wicked deadly weapon!

Bon voyage!

If those looks from the seventies were so ridiculous, how come we all wore them?

(BTW: I remember wearing platform shoes so vertiginous that I had to descend a staircase -- in public -- sideways.)

&gt;If those looks from the seventies were so ridiculous, how come we all wore them?&lt;

A capitalist, imperialist, sexist pig plot to belittle women?

Don't mix polka dots and plaids? Okay, but it's going to feel funny.

Travelnut, your memory is great - I did take the wine recommendations to heart and learned a great deal from the thread.

Whimsical recommendations are always a bit of harmless fun, but as before, I'd also like serious ones as well. We often talk about dressing &quot;right&quot; in Europe, but I'm often unsure exactly what folks mean by that phrase.

Topman: What have I done to incur your wrath? Is it you just having a bad day or is it something more than that?

The show &quot;Queer Eye for a Straight Guy&quot;, although it's been the source of a few jokes, is actually a really good one, and I have watched those fellows achieve amazing positive results.

They really do give wonderful advice, tailored to the individual, and they are knowlegeable about the way a man can put his best foot forward. For example, they might say, If you hardly ever wear black, why not try adding something in black to your wardrobe, just for a change. It looks elegant and sexy on a man with black hair!

Every suggestion I made to you was quite serious, except the polkadots and plaids one, which was a response to the tone of your original question.

My next door neighbor grew up in Paris,and is a close friend, so let me reflect on the way he dresses.

He does wear athletic shoes, but would wear leather shoes out to dinner in a nice restaurant.

He doesn't wear T-shirts with any messages on them that I know of.
He has a very few basic items in his closet which are very high quality. He also has two or three shirts which are in bright colors. My favorite one is a shade of bright blue. He doesn't wearing every thing to match exactly, but mixes things together.
The colors are related to each other.

He often wears a leather jacket in fall and winter, but that might not be your style.

I have seen him wear just a T'shirt or turtleneck under a sportsjacket, which looked fine.

Mainly, it is his behaviour and wonderful manners that define his style, as much as his clothing.

Good luck with your new look!

Lederhosen. It's the new black. Really.

sognatrice2, I knew you mixed a fun one with the serious. There is much truth to what you wrote - many of us should focus on having fewer clothes, but the ones we have should be top quality. Maybe walking-in closets encourage over consumption?

Clifton, the German Tourist Board has approached me about modeling Lederhosen - should I accept?