Do you find Parisians rude?
#41

Joined: Jan 2003
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ad nauseum is right, people are obsessed with this topic on here. They don't talk about it for most other cities, wonder why. Someone else posted about this thing the other day and I gave my opinion there. Seems like the Mayor thinks they are rude, obviously, right?
#42
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,285
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Pad, you know in your heart of hearts that the waitress in question is a better person for her experience. She realizes that Laura was an angel in disguise ... oh, the cute scene this would make in a romantic comedy.
Alors.
I think it's contemptible to walk out on a check. It's also rather stupid, unless spending part of your day fighting with business owners - and possibly police - is an appealing notion of cross-cultural exchange.
There are good reasons waiters have some responsibility for checks: for one thing, it's simple awareness of the customer; we were also responsible for errors = we paid if we made an error in the customer's favor, but did not benefit if we made an error in the house's favor. (This makes sense; it would otherwise be a route to stealing.) That said, the only time a customer walked on me (a "charming" young couple who stuck me for about $65 - even remember this after about 25 years) did it while I was working in another part of the restaurant, immediately after I had served their desert. I still had to pay. Yes, this SUCKED!
Anyway, it doesn't matter who got stiffed on the case in Paris - it's still hardly a moral high ground to "get even" with "rudeness" by deciding you're eating for free.
When I encounter rude service (or rude customers) I console myself that I only have to deal with the person briefly, while there are other people who must suffer them every day!
Alors.
I think it's contemptible to walk out on a check. It's also rather stupid, unless spending part of your day fighting with business owners - and possibly police - is an appealing notion of cross-cultural exchange.
There are good reasons waiters have some responsibility for checks: for one thing, it's simple awareness of the customer; we were also responsible for errors = we paid if we made an error in the customer's favor, but did not benefit if we made an error in the house's favor. (This makes sense; it would otherwise be a route to stealing.) That said, the only time a customer walked on me (a "charming" young couple who stuck me for about $65 - even remember this after about 25 years) did it while I was working in another part of the restaurant, immediately after I had served their desert. I still had to pay. Yes, this SUCKED!
Anyway, it doesn't matter who got stiffed on the case in Paris - it's still hardly a moral high ground to "get even" with "rudeness" by deciding you're eating for free.
When I encounter rude service (or rude customers) I console myself that I only have to deal with the person briefly, while there are other people who must suffer them every day!
#43
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 78,320
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We were verbally abused by a waitress in a restaurant in the Marais because we took to long to decide which dessert to have....we got our own back though by slipping out the back without paying!!
This is so LOW - it's the same as stealing anything and speaks volumes about your morals.
Bad service - complain to management and yes you're lucky you didn't get tracked down by gendarmes.
I hope you are not American but an UGLY something else!
This is so LOW - it's the same as stealing anything and speaks volumes about your morals.
Bad service - complain to management and yes you're lucky you didn't get tracked down by gendarmes.
I hope you are not American but an UGLY something else!
#44
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 511
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SuzieCII unless you were in an unmarked cab; your cab drivers were French. We are a racially diverse country!
IF you asked where they were from, they'll say Delhi, Tanzania, Algers etc but that's like you saying you're Irish even though 4th generation born in the USA.
IF you asked where they were from, they'll say Delhi, Tanzania, Algers etc but that's like you saying you're Irish even though 4th generation born in the USA.
#45
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,285
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Moxie, my first ever Paris driver was Chinese (I believe) and seemed to speak no more French than I (which isn't much), though maybe he just found it easier to be understood in his minimal English. (He'd have been correct there.)
Anyway, he was fantastic. Not only waved at our trio and our pile of bags, pointing at his capacious station wagon, but he made an appointment to pick us up at our hotel the morning of our departure and was there half an hour early - in the snow.
Anyway, he was fantastic. Not only waved at our trio and our pile of bags, pointing at his capacious station wagon, but he made an appointment to pick us up at our hotel the morning of our departure and was there half an hour early - in the snow.
#47
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 172
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So no immigrants become cabbies in France? Is there a ban or something?
By and large, I find the Parisians (not saying I can tell them from other French people) to be like people at home. Their manner is a bit different. There's a certain haughtiness that is probably just clipped formality with strangers. It feels abrasive coming from a nation where a smile is generally the ticket. But I know it's my perception and not their intention. You just have to toughen up on that.
At the same time, we have certainly had bad encounters in Paris. My mother swears an old man hit her with his cane one evening. But what could we do about that? I didn't see it, she is nearly blind... We certainly couldn't hit an old man.
In May, a tiny old lady went nuts on me in the airport. The terminal was nearly deserted. I was standing out of the way, against an advertising structure near another woman. This little woman disturbed me reading my guidebook to ask me - very sweetly - to move so she could pass with her luggage cart. The woman had approached from a very strange angle. There was no logical reason for her to wind up with me in her path. She could have gone around in any event without being noticed. I told her to go around, waved my hand and went back to my book.
Said old lady immediately starting shouting at me and repeatedly rammed her cart into my suitcase. It was all kinds of startling. At first I was shocked, then I thought it must be a distraction for a pickpocket. Then I tried to grab my upright and pull it out of the way of her cart. Just imagine what this must have looked like to the people just over in the Information booth and the Currency Exchange: a woman frantically turning around, trying to close her purse and drag her suitcase - which is trapped because it was against a structure to begin with - while an old lady rides roughshod all over it! All I could think to say was, "Just because you're old doesn't mean you have to be rude, lady!!"
I know they must have been laughing their heads off!!! By the time I got to my hotel four people had graciously assisted me in the Metro (and English) which must have been a karmic payback or something.
By and large, I find the Parisians (not saying I can tell them from other French people) to be like people at home. Their manner is a bit different. There's a certain haughtiness that is probably just clipped formality with strangers. It feels abrasive coming from a nation where a smile is generally the ticket. But I know it's my perception and not their intention. You just have to toughen up on that.
At the same time, we have certainly had bad encounters in Paris. My mother swears an old man hit her with his cane one evening. But what could we do about that? I didn't see it, she is nearly blind... We certainly couldn't hit an old man.
In May, a tiny old lady went nuts on me in the airport. The terminal was nearly deserted. I was standing out of the way, against an advertising structure near another woman. This little woman disturbed me reading my guidebook to ask me - very sweetly - to move so she could pass with her luggage cart. The woman had approached from a very strange angle. There was no logical reason for her to wind up with me in her path. She could have gone around in any event without being noticed. I told her to go around, waved my hand and went back to my book.
Said old lady immediately starting shouting at me and repeatedly rammed her cart into my suitcase. It was all kinds of startling. At first I was shocked, then I thought it must be a distraction for a pickpocket. Then I tried to grab my upright and pull it out of the way of her cart. Just imagine what this must have looked like to the people just over in the Information booth and the Currency Exchange: a woman frantically turning around, trying to close her purse and drag her suitcase - which is trapped because it was against a structure to begin with - while an old lady rides roughshod all over it! All I could think to say was, "Just because you're old doesn't mean you have to be rude, lady!!"
I know they must have been laughing their heads off!!! By the time I got to my hotel four people had graciously assisted me in the Metro (and English) which must have been a karmic payback or something.
#48
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,505
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"I have to disagree with Tom. It is not the general pattern in Europe to make staff liable if customers "do a runner". A minority of establishments do it, probably a tiny minority".
You are right. It is even completely illegal (pas de sanction pécuniaire sur le salaire.
You are right. It is even completely illegal (pas de sanction pécuniaire sur le salaire.
#49
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 78,320
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stealing from the fat-cat owner is only slightly less reprehensible than stealing from a lower-paid wait person but it's still stealing.
I mean if i go to Carrefour supermarket and the cashier says something unpleasant to me or yells to pack my things quicker in the self-pack bag then i should just take my goods and leave without paying?
I mean if i go to Carrefour supermarket and the cashier says something unpleasant to me or yells to pack my things quicker in the self-pack bag then i should just take my goods and leave without paying?
#51
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 661
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We drove into Paris, and were trying to find our way to our hotel on the Left Bank. We asked a cab driver we were stopped next to at a light.
He said, "Follow me", and proceeded to drive all the way to a street near the hotel. He jumped out of the cab, and pointed to where we shoud turn. He gave us a big smile and a "Bon jour", and was off.
I turned to my husband and said, "I'm so sick of these rude Parisians!"
gt;
He said, "Follow me", and proceeded to drive all the way to a street near the hotel. He jumped out of the cab, and pointed to where we shoud turn. He gave us a big smile and a "Bon jour", and was off.
I turned to my husband and said, "I'm so sick of these rude Parisians!"
gt;
#52
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 104
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Getting a taxi at airport to go to the hotel: the guy that hailed the taxi and put the luggage into the trunk, was ranting about "if I was in the United States, I would at least say thank you!" This was before he even finished putting the luggage into the trunk! Not only did he not get a thank you, he didn't get a tip.
The taxi driver that took us to the hotel: Charged double the amount shown on the meter. Spoke very harshly to us and said it was because he took the luggage out of the trunk for us (we didn't ask him to). Again, no tip. Although I guess you could say he made his own tip.
The owner of the hotel: When we asked for a recommendation to get something to eat, she carried on (what seemed like forever) about no eating in her hotel! At the time we weren't asking for something to bring back. We did, however, end up eating in her hotel.
The owner(?) of the laundry: We spilled liquid detergent. As we were in the process of cleaning it up, the owner came in and raked us over the coals! My mother had finally had it and let her have it right back. Jody is absolutely right. Rudeness is returned with rudeness!
One very pleasant person: I went into a restaurant we had eaten at the evening before to pick up some takeout. The man I was talking to spoke good English but seem a little put off that I didn't know they did not serve lunch. I asked if he had any recommendations and that really put him off. A young lady that had been talking to the man (in French) began telling me about some restaurants nearby, what they had that I could get for takeout, how much it cost, etc. We spoke for several minutes and before leaving I told her how nice and helpful she had been and that she spoke very good English. Her answer:
"I'm from Chicago".
The taxi driver that took us to the hotel: Charged double the amount shown on the meter. Spoke very harshly to us and said it was because he took the luggage out of the trunk for us (we didn't ask him to). Again, no tip. Although I guess you could say he made his own tip.
The owner of the hotel: When we asked for a recommendation to get something to eat, she carried on (what seemed like forever) about no eating in her hotel! At the time we weren't asking for something to bring back. We did, however, end up eating in her hotel.
The owner(?) of the laundry: We spilled liquid detergent. As we were in the process of cleaning it up, the owner came in and raked us over the coals! My mother had finally had it and let her have it right back. Jody is absolutely right. Rudeness is returned with rudeness!
One very pleasant person: I went into a restaurant we had eaten at the evening before to pick up some takeout. The man I was talking to spoke good English but seem a little put off that I didn't know they did not serve lunch. I asked if he had any recommendations and that really put him off. A young lady that had been talking to the man (in French) began telling me about some restaurants nearby, what they had that I could get for takeout, how much it cost, etc. We spoke for several minutes and before leaving I told her how nice and helpful she had been and that she spoke very good English. Her answer:
"I'm from Chicago".
#55
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 108
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No,absolutely not. We just arrived back from a wonderful week in Paris. My family and I were treated with kindness, couresty and smiles. We always greated shop owners, waiters etc with a "bonjour" and they always responded with a "hello". Even if the person couldn't speak English they would try, as we would try to speak French...limited as it is. This was our first time in France and we plan to go back first chance we get. Ptm
#56
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,584
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Among the pleasant encounters we had--my 6 yo son and I left Monoprix loaded with grocery bags and had no luck hailing a taxi on the Avenue de la Opera. I asked someone on the street (in my bad French) if there was a taxi stand nearby, but she just shrugged. A woman strolling by not only stopped and pointed us toward a taxi stand a couple of blocks away, but she saw a taxi parked on a side street (in her direction) and trotted down to check out if that taxi was available! Way above and beyond.
We had only a couple of unpleasant moments (if anything, less than I experience here at home in the DC area), and many nice ones.
My 6yo served as goodwill ambassador. Right after we arived in Paris, my son and I were walking through the Ile St. Louis, and he was jumping in and out of the water flowing in the gutter (from the ubiquitous green jumpsuit guys). Someone strolling in the other direction spontaneously reached out and patted him on the head as he went by. That sort of thing happened several times.
We had only a couple of unpleasant moments (if anything, less than I experience here at home in the DC area), and many nice ones.
My 6yo served as goodwill ambassador. Right after we arived in Paris, my son and I were walking through the Ile St. Louis, and he was jumping in and out of the water flowing in the gutter (from the ubiquitous green jumpsuit guys). Someone strolling in the other direction spontaneously reached out and patted him on the head as he went by. That sort of thing happened several times.
#57
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 559
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<<We always greated shop owners, waiters etc with a "bonjour" and they always responded with a "hello". >>
See, I would have to say that if I greet someone in the target language, it is kind of insulting to respond with the assumption that you speak English- but maybe that's just me...
See, I would have to say that if I greet someone in the target language, it is kind of insulting to respond with the assumption that you speak English- but maybe that's just me...
#59
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 17,749
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While we have only been to France twice, neither time did we ever encounter any rude Parisian. On our last trip, which we just returned from, we actually had several times that people went out of their way to help. Once, when we had no idea where we were, and my mother needed the restroom. I found a kiosk and asked for directions (in French, with the courtesies, if that matters to anyone). The man left the stand, took us across a park, down to a parking garage and led us to the nearest restroom. When we left, we asked the garage attendant for directions to the nearest taxi stand. Again, he went out of his way by locking up his office and personally taking us a block or so away to one. There are other similar stories, but these were on our first day and were much appreciated by us.
#60
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 287
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It's been my pleasure to visit Paris twice. As an advid trip planner I had read all the advice about learning at least basic phrases in French. While I can easily memorize vocabulary, I am one of those cursed with a terrible ear for languages. As the mother of someone with learning disabilities I suspect I too have what is called an auditory processing disorder.
My first ventures to Europe remained in English speaking countries due to my fear of my inability to communicate. My first trip to Paris was with a friend who speaks fluent Spanish and German though no French...but she has no fear of inablity to communicate. We had a blast and I enjoyed every moment of my trip. I decided I would try it this year with my son. I practiced my basic phrases. I made notes so I could show my question if I could not be understood. And I found that after my Bonjour, most seemed more than willing to respond in English - thank God most realized the need to communicate was my major goal!
I loved my experience in Paris, where people are people with varying personalities and experiences, but those in the touristy areas recognize a tourist and try to make the experience one that encourages repeat visits!
My first ventures to Europe remained in English speaking countries due to my fear of my inability to communicate. My first trip to Paris was with a friend who speaks fluent Spanish and German though no French...but she has no fear of inablity to communicate. We had a blast and I enjoyed every moment of my trip. I decided I would try it this year with my son. I practiced my basic phrases. I made notes so I could show my question if I could not be understood. And I found that after my Bonjour, most seemed more than willing to respond in English - thank God most realized the need to communicate was my major goal!
I loved my experience in Paris, where people are people with varying personalities and experiences, but those in the touristy areas recognize a tourist and try to make the experience one that encourages repeat visits!

