GaryCA

We need escape in this world.

MarthaT

I always get depressed on the way home from a trip. But as soon as I get home I am planning the next trip so I feel I have something to look forward too, keeps me from being too depressed with the realities of everyday life.

MomDDTravel

Good point Gary.

Dawn

jasles

ferryann,

interesting thread!!

To some degree or other, most people do seem to get a lift from the excitement (changes) brought on during travel. Nothing wrong with that. But many do use it to try and fill the gap in their lives.

I think what u are really talking about is something deeper - the need for some peace (and fulfillment) in your soul.
"Come unto me all ye that are heavy laden ...and I will give you rest to your soul." Guess who??
"My peace I give unto you..."
"Peace like a river..."

This is probably not the right place for a loooong chat on this 'angle' but u are welcome to contact me by email ([email protected]). And yes, I am a pastor...

Best wishes!

MomDDTravel

Jasles - one does not need to be a Pastor to know those scripture!

Dawn

Vicky

I am used to taking at least 2 trips per year and in 2004 I took FIVE (3 were to Europe!). I have not had one since last May so did not have plane tix in my drawer to give me that to look forward too. That lack in addition to heavy workload and winter which I hate (having spent 22 years living in Sarasota, FL), life was not alot of fun. My trip last May cost more than usual so i couldn't go on another last year; this year due to coordinating special evens, I literally couldnt' get out of here until after next week - so finally leaving for Hawaii on the 30th. Once I was able to plan and research (should I go to Hawaii or Switzerland. Bali or Corfu) I felt alot better and now am on to planning the NEXT trip. It keeps the excitement going and my heart pumping.

Poohgirl

Oh, yeah. I get the black cloud from time to time, and traveling does help. It's frustrating, sometimes, when the black cloud is there when I'm actually on one of my solo trips, which happened last year. I didn't get around nearly enough and was upset with myself durign and after the fact. Although I love traveling solo the best, I know if I were traveling with someone, I would have to keep going to keep up appearances if nothing else.

ferryann

Jasles. Thanks for your message and the spirit in which it was intended. I wish I could get something from religion but when they talk about a God shaped hole in ones life, well I seem to have a religion shaped hole.

I am a Catholic and so is my husband but I am a non believer while he is a fervent believer(yet more isolation for me I'm afraid) I do think that to be a true believer you tend to be wired differently. Maybe it's something to do with the fact that I have had so much spirit crushed out of me since childhood(some of it due to Catholic nuns) that I just don't have anything left that allows me to develop faith in anything or anybody anymore. So I travel and watch the communities in the little villages in France etc. I watch them as they shop, speak in the street, eat out as a family together for hours on end and organise their fetes together. I see in them how I would like my life to be but unfortunately my husbands family only value the blood family and that does not include me. They'd rather organise things and not have me there. I have no family living and was neglected by my parents as a child. On my travels I look on at the communities and often wonder if they know how lucky they are.

rbnwdlr

This is the first winter in four years that I haven't had a June trip to Italy to look forward to. And I gotta tell you it has been a LOONNNNGGGG hard winter. I can say that travel is a definite pick-me-up but it has to be travel on my terms. The Disney World trip in June is not makin'it. As they say, it's not a trip if you don't need your passport.

MomDDTravel

ferryann - one thing I was thinking after the Pastor post was that trust me on this, "believers" can struggle with depression and Joy as much as "non-believers".

Thank you for your heartfelt post. I am sorry for your isolation in your marriage. For a variety of reasons I have felt that at different seasons of my marriage (and like wise so has my dh).

Hugs,
Dawn

ferryann

Thanks. I do love my husband and we do all our trips together. In many ways we are very close but I feel isolated from him on the issue of his family. He was in denial about it for the first 20 years of our marriage. I never felt able to stand up for myself because I was amongst his family group with no support from him. They took a lot of my young life and made it miserable and despite me talking to him I don't think he'll ever truly understand how devastated I am. He's due to see them again in a couple of days and I am home alone so I expect that's why I'm making posts like this at the moment.

Poohgirl

><

To ferryann, ProPre, and everyone else who needs it.

LowCountryIslander

Ferryann...

I definitely use travel as a way to lift my spirits.

For many years I didn't travel for various reason such as no one to go with(I'm single)or financially not able and then one day I said to myself "What am I waiting for?".

I had traveled a bit during my college years, but once I hit the career path it took a while to build up the time and money to go.

About 6 years ago I really started to get back into traveling. Yes, I have to plan accordingly, but fortunately I've been able to take trips each year ranging from 1-4 weeks (working at the same place for 10 years does have some perks with vaction time accruals!)

Believe me, my job doesn't "thrill" me, but I won't mope around about it (well, not all the time anyway!), so doing my trip planning and research (and then actually experiencing a place) gets me through the rough patches.

Thanks for posing this question, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way!

cybertraveler

I think that we all need something positive to look forward to in our lives. For me, if I can't have a trip to look forward to I do feel sort of "cheated". DH and I have had a couple of years where we couldn't get away alone for various reasons, so I'm all the more excited to be planning our trip to Italy this summer.

We seem to be working more hours but not having more fun, so we've decided that there's no time like the present to get away. Instantly, life is good again!

I know what ferryann is talking about, though. It seems like the people who live in the places we love to visit have such great lives. Probably, if we got to know them and saw what's under the surface, we'd see that they all have their own problems and worries, too. It's part of the human condition.

So, I'm very grateful for the times I've been able to travel and hope to take many more trips, because they certainly do make the work, bills, hectic schedules, etc. the rest of the year a lot more tolerable.

adventureseeker

I don't think it's depression, but I love to have something to look forward to. And travel is it!

After we return from a trip I go into a chill phase for about a week. DH knows it and lets me be.

If that's what depression is, it's so worth it!

adventureseeker

one more thing....

I believe travel is an essential form of getting away from the daily routine/drudgery of life and reconnect....with your mate, with yourself, kids, friends, family, whatever.

Travel is different to everyone, but I get so much out of it that it becomes a staple for me.

I've never been a material girl and will take life's experience <u>any day</u> over a big new house or fancy car. That's where my priorities lie.

jennifero35

We also travel quite a bit. About 2 or 3 trips per year. Sometimes Europe, Hawaii, a cruise, and Disney World as well. We've just returned(two weeks ago) from a fabulous 9 day trip in Paris and Amsterdam. I have to admit I love the planning! More importantly, it's a time for our family to reconnect and have time together since hubby is in the military and gone quite often. I wouldn't say I'm depressed between trips because I'm blessed with a good life. On the other hand, I'm already dreaming of going back at Christmas!

pailthorp1

Ferryanne, I'm nearly 52, married into a Catholic family 33 years ago and understand your feeling of loneliness concerning your husband's family! When my DFIL died 2 years ago, I was devastated and the rest of the family chose that time to &quot;remove&quot; me from any family discussions or events. Try not to &quot;think&quot; about them too much and enjoy your own friends. I consider my friends my extended family with far fewer &quot;issues!&quot; Husbands don't always get us and maybe good Catholic boys are guilted into being loyal to their blood relatives even over their wives at times! I have found it's still worth hanging in there though and hope you do too!

I plan our travels each year and relish reading about other's trips and experiences. When I can't go, at least I can live vicariously! If you have found that this is a key to being happy, I think you're ahead of the game of life!

Big hug to.

bozama

Ferryann, you are a very strong woman to have stayed with your husband all these years, I would not have had the stomache for him. Love means not letting a loved one suffer.. he let you suffer. He should be ashamed.

As for &quot;religion,&quot; forget it, but for God, he is a quiet voice in your heart, call to him, not to the church first.. I too was raised Catholic and it clouded my perception on a few things. Look to doing some research on your own,, just pick up the Bible, something as Catholics we were taught we didn't really need to do...

As for depression, yes, I do use travel as a relief. For 26 days this summer I am going to be free of certain stresses,, we have a 17 yr old son who is struggling with some drug abuse, and let me tell you , when dealing with an addict, you are truly not in control, and as a parent that is weird terrifying and heartbreaking, its never good to watch a loved one suffer and commit slow suicide. . Dad is staying home and dealing with sons, I am taking daughter and we are going to have FUN for 26 days she needs to be out of situation as much as I do..

Propea,, I am sorry you are still struggling with your addictions, don't give up on yourself.. one brick at a time, all you need to do is one brick at a time. Tear the bricks down, don't build them up. Good luck .

pailthorp1

&quot; Sorry, I didn't finish that sign off! It should have read &quot;Big hug to you!&quot;