Crab picks are a must!

K,

About dessert spoons doubling as coffee spoons, imo in France, the dessert spoons are huge and the coffee spoons tiny. Dessert spoons I've been given in restaurants wouldn't fit in a demi-tasse.

I inherited my mom's sterling silver flatware and among the pieces are iced tea spoons, round and curved soup spoons, the latter double as dessert spoons, demi-tasse spoons (tiny), oyster forks, etc. It's sad that I rarely use any of it except on high days and holidays.

Ah, but the big difference when you are invited to a feast in the provinces is that they serve real cups of coffee after the meal, not demi-tasses. You are right that the demi-tasse stuff only comes out for special holidays to mark the occasion.

The decision on how fancy to make a meal is very intricate for people who feel that it is important to impress, much less so when you are inviting people with whom you are comfortable. And different people have totally different priorities on what makes it fancy -- starched napkins, multiple crystal glasses, plates inside plates, sterling silver tureens... I was happy to see this stuff only on the really special occasions -- Christmas, Easter, the Fête Nationale... or Thanksgiving when we were living in the United States. The rarity of the display is what makes it special for me. It might sound a bit harsh, but I think that people who do this sort of thing every time they invite people to dinner are a bit neurotic.

Not harsh in my view although some people get huge satisfaction out of a beautiful formal table and that's great and I hope the custom lives on. But in my case, knowing that I would be polishing everything and starching and ironing has me opting for casual but pretty, I hope. I bought some great Basque table runners and napkins last year, don't mind ironing those because they are such cheery colors.

Loved your 4th of July party, StCirq. Did you demonstrate eating corn on the cob? Were there gasps?

My perception is the French in general are rather rigid about meals and rules of society. It's important to appear bien élevée. This makes me uncomfortable -- since I don't know all the rules and am not interested in leading a rule-bound life.

Is my perception accurate? I have to say it doesn't seem to apply to kerouac or to most of my husband's relatives in Paris.

This is a wonderful thread. Made me laugh so hard I cried.

Kerouac, Sounds like you and your friends know how to enjoy life. Thank you for sharing the photos of the cemetery where your friend Donna is buried.

My rule in life is that there are no rules when it comes to friends and a good meal.

"My rule in life is that there are no rules when it comes to friends and a good meal."

Absolutely! I need that posted in my kitchen

K: Do the French eat French fries with their fingers?

I agree, this has been a very funny post.

The French eat them both ways. Even before the arrival of fast food chains, people were buying a <i>cornet de frites</i> on the street or at fun fairs as a snack. So having them as finger food is not a problem. If you have every been to the Léon de Bruxelles chain or other places that sell mussels in the shell, the frites are also served to be eaten with your fingers, since you are already eating the mussels with your fingers.

At home, however, I don't think you will see many people over the age of 15 eating frites with their fingers, unless they have brought them home in a paper bag.

"At home, however, I don't think you will see many people over the age of 15 eating frites with their fingers, unless they have brought them home in a paper bag." So much better with fingers and I'm well over 15!

There's a difference between rules and good manners.

You're right Jean, I don't have good manners with French fries

What would Americans do if you have French folk in your home to dine - expect them to comport exactly to the way Americans eat or actually prefer them to feel comfy and eat like they normally do.

I have had many French fries eat with me in my home and I am always delighted that they eat just like the do at their home and I would not expect any difference.

Otherwise IMO it is not being accepting and friendly and this is what has always been the case with me in French homes as well.

Much ado about nothing IMO. Just as long as you do not take a piece of every type of cheese on the cheese plate!

That's what I was thinking PalenQ - I think the French are generally worldly enough to know that customs differ around the world and not be confused or upset by guests who don't do things exactly the same as they do.

Exactement!

Coco, some foods just taste better when eaten from the fingers. That's my favorite way to eat white rice, usually on the way home from a restaurant with take-out. Frites, too!

"Just as long as you do not take a piece of every type of cheese on the cheese plate!"

Oops.

But I wouldn't worry too much about the etiquette of french fries in a country where they put the things in sandwiches.

I am not coordinated enough to eat white rice with my fingers in the car - but if I was, I would.

I have some friends who eat pizza with a knife and fork. Sometimes I want to shout "Just pick the damn thing up, why dontcha". But I don't, of course.

<i>I have some friends who eat pizza with a knife and fork.</i>

Common in France, and I think that I saw the same thing in Naples.

I eat pizza with a knife and fork. Then again, I only eat a pizza maybe twice a year.