Dining in a French home: etiquette
 

The last two issues of the bonjourparis.com newsletter have held two excellent articles about being "correct" when invited to a dinner in a private home in France. Good things to know.

And no, I'm not connected with that site other than as a reader.

Wow, what a bunch of crap! And you believed it?

It is obviously a joke.
I giggled at "Don’t serve cheese before dinner, should you ever entertain French guests."

Is serving cheese the equivalent of Yorkshire pudding to take the edge off the appetite?

I also loved "please use your knife to spread butter on your bread, don’t swipe the bread against the butter to spread it."

I have known many Americans and can't think of one who would be so uncouth.

I have eaten at quite a few friends' houses and never had cheese before the meal. Most of the advice is probably correct if a little formal. The dress code got to me when one considers that the recent picture of Bernanke and his European equivalent shows Bernanke in a dark suite and tie while his European <i>confrère</i> is in jeans, jacket and no tie.

Wow, you have never been served the extremely famous <i>Apéricubes</i> made by La Vache Qui Rit or any of the Gouda or Emmental cubes sold in every supermarket?

Next somebody will say that the French don't serve olives either.

I can't ever remember being served cheese before a meal either - usually it's those horrid crunch mixes or potato chips. And olives, of course.

"Wow, you have never been served the extremely famous Apéricubes made by La Vache Qui Rit or any of the Gouda or Emmental cubes sold in every supermarket?"

You call that "cheese"? :-)

<i>Wow, you have never been served the extremely famous Apéricubes made by La Vache Qui Rit or any of the Gouda or Emmental cubes sold in every supermarket?</i>

Never.

Didn't read it, but I wouldn't expect to have cheese as an appetizer as we do here. Cheese course with dessert? Oui?

It's very Parisien. France is a great deal bigger than Paris; and yes, I've been served cubed cheese with my apero. It wasn't La Vache qui Rit, however....

Ha ha, you have not touched the bottom then! I wonder why such a huge selection is on sale then with 10 or more new flavors being released every year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crpt1...feature=relmfu

I've seen lots of places that have cheese cubes or brie with bread pieces, or something like that as part of the hors d'oeuvres before dinner (or maybe more like cocktail hour) in the US, I'm not getting why people have never heard of that or seen it. It is pretty common. I don't really understand why that is so hilarious, either.

On the other hand, I have never heard of, and can't imagine, someone swiping their bread over the butter to butter it.

I think that website is often full of it by some woman who thinks she knows everything and wants people to pay her for her supposed expertise on all things French. First, the idea that all homes are exactly alike, can you imagine some rules for dining in an American home? And the idea that you can't do anything different from what your guests might do, regardless of nationaltiy. What kind of strange etiquette is that. FOr example, the mandate that you cannot use your right hand for your fork even if that is your custom just because some European might not. How rude that they would be dictating what hand you are allowd to use for your fork.

I would never tell some guest in my home what hand they were allowed to use for a utensil, why would I care. Can you imagine if Americans told Europeans in their home they weren't allowed to use the hands they wanted for their utensils?

<i>If you can feed yourself gracefully using a fork with your left hand, do; if not, don’t.</i>

She does not mandate the use of the fork in the left hand.

But she implies that it is not good. Being left handed, I have made a point of not changing my eating habits in the Middle East in spite of all of the information about how unacceptable and nasty that is for cultural reasons. And I have also noticed over that last 15 or 20 years that quite a few Arabs are left handed now, so obviously people are getting over the taboo.

Nobody gives two hoots in France regarding which hand you use for your fork.

well her views are generally true for most European dining experiences. I would have thought she should have covered the more obvious French issues for instance

Take flowers the day after to say thank you rather than for the meal

Dont' take wine as it suggests your host cannot chose his or her own.

etc

<i>Don’t ask for a tour of the apartment. The French consider that an invasion of their personal space and whatever you do, never ask the cost of an apartment or home.</i>

Is it acceptable to <i>ask</i> your guests for a tour of their apartment in the US ??

I've never asked anybody for a tour of their home unless they lived in a particularly noteworthy place - of historical or architectural signfigance, in which case most people are perfectly happy to show guests around.

One wouldn't ask the host/hostess to tour the home most <i>anywhere</i> I've been -- on either side of the Atlantic. That would seem to be very rude. Certainly nothing unique w/ the French.

Some hosts DO offer to show folks around - but it should always be their own idea/decision/choice.

Parts of the rest seems weird, and other bits are only stating the obvious.

I am from the deep piney woods of East Texas, and I have NEVER seen anyone wipe their bread across the butter. And some of the Rednecks here do some strange things.

IMO Americans should use the hand they always eat with and never ever in my many visits to homes of French folk has anyone ever raised an eyebrow with what hand I eat with or whether I turn my fork down or not.