You have to wonder where anyone over the age of 4 needs to be reminded not to swipe their bread in the butter or told not to ask others how much money they make.

It seemed strange advice not to offer French people cheese before dinner in your home. Maybe that's when you eat cheese. Your house; your rules.

BTW, I think a good host will serve salad in bite sized pieces so I don't have to break down the lettuce on my plate. It's not a big deal, I just like small salad piece.

Nope, that's one of the only bits of information that was correct -- you do not cut salad in France; you fold it to the proper size. That is, except when you decide to cut it anyway.

People cut salad with a knife? Who knew?

As a French resident for the last 17 years, I am now very surprised when Canadian friends offer a cheese plate with drinks - it really isn't done here. Sure it's your house, your rules, but French people will be rather disconcerted. Yes, you could get away with apericubes - not my favourites - but not a whole cheese plate.

(Also confusing when British people serve cheese before dessert, rather than after. May be their rules, but a French person finds that very strange. Ruins the palate, upsets the equilibrium of the meal.)

We do take wine to our French friends - who do the same to us.

"If a tray of water or juice is passed" - I think she's confusing a dinner invitation with a flight on air france.

But the French serve cheese before dessert, Carlux! And even more so in restaurants.

Yeah, the "tray of water or juice" perplexed me as well. If there are so many people that you put the drinks on trays to pass them around, that means you have servants, and when you have servants, the hosts can go to bed even if there are lingering guests. At least that's how we do it in my château.

The British serve cheese AFTER the dessert.

The French habit of BEFORE makes much more sense because you can continue with your red wine from the main course.

Carlux have you tried those little pieces of cheese instead of Apéricube? Much better, mild cheese with different spices or herbs on top of them http://tinyurl.com/3kwfz2d.
As far as I'm concerned (average French woman) I try not to cut salad with a knife (not easy I must admit)
Hubby brings a bottle of wine to either taste it all together or for our hosts to keep it for another occasion.
We use both hands for the fork, it will actually depends on the food. If no knife is required, we stick to the right hand (pasta, vegetables...)except if we're left handed. I never paid attention to the way my friends or family hold their fork.
And we serve cheese before dessert, never the contrary.
We usually don't visit our friends' home unless they just settled in and are thrilled to show us around. I'd love to visit Kerouac's chateau though ;)

"I am now very surprised when Canadian friends offer a cheese plate with drinks - it really isn't done here. Sure it's your house, your rules, but French people will be rather disconcerted."

Everyone should make an effort to accomadate their guests but sometimes it's fun if they surprise us.
I was once served blood at a dinner. It wasn't the main course and it was out of my comfort zone. Actually, it was good in a strange way. I'm glad my friend didn't worry about whether I'd be disconcerted.

There are people who travel the world and manage to eat only at McDonalds but how many people here do that? When in another's home just be happy with what and how they choose to serve.

I've been served cheese only at the end of a meal.

'(Also confusing when British people serve cheese before dessert, rather than after. May be their rules, but a French person finds that very strange. Ruins the palate, upsets the equilibrium of the meal.)'

Sorry, I'm losing my mind. I meant the exact opposite! Of course we eat cheese here before dessert, so that we can keep on drinking red wine.

Or white wine, which goes quite well with blue cheese.

The more wine the better -- that is an unwritten rule of French etiquette. ;-)

I don't think not cutting your salad is a specifically French thing. I remember hearing that growing up, and I was raised in California. I <i>try</i> not to use a knife with salad, but it can be difficult, especially with rangy lettuces or crunchy greens that haven't been torn small enough before serving.

I've been known to give up and use my knife on occasion. I'm a monster.

You <b>do</b> use the knife -- not to cut but to help you fold.

But sometimes those big backbones of the lettuce require extreme measures.

Coco,

I'm interested in your statement that, "We usually don't visit our friends' home unless they just settled in and are thrilled to show us around."

When I worked in France, and when visiting the French friends of my Practice Wife, we always did socializing in a restaurant, almost never in a private home. My understanding was that business colleagues were just not invited/entertained in the French home. I can only recall dining in a private residence twice.

That was about 40 years ago, now, and I had understood that the customs in France had changed so that home visits were much more the norm. Am I wrong?

more wining instead of whining.
We've dined in many French homes but have never
been given a tour of the house and we always brought wine
or cheese if we were staying at a goat farm
And we brought scotch for the men who like it as it's expensive there.

People will indeed give you a tour if they have just bought the country house of their dreams. In Paris, only close friends are entitled to see your apartment -- but close friends won't even wait to be invited. They will go barging through at will.

All of the rest of you can just wonder, although you will be permitted to see the route to the WC.

Dick, I think it is still the same with colleagues. In my previous life as a receptionist, my colleagues and I used to go to the restaurant together all the time. We didn't even think of going to someones' place. (It sounds weird now I'm thinking about it) It is a matter of privacy I suppose. Only friends at home! But we still like to go to the restaurant even with close friends, to taste new food (and then go home together to enjoy the rest of the evening).

"You <b>do</b> use the knife -- not to cut but to help you fold."

Oh yes, I meant use the knife to cut. I do use it to fold but not always gracefully. And agreed about the backbone of lettuce (nice term), especially hearts of romaine served whole, although I don't recall seeing that in Paris.

The original article seems to be written for Martians who plan to visit France. Don't swab your bread right on the butter, don't remove your eighth eyeball at the dinner table, etc.