LSky

I thought it was the seventh eyeball, whew. Thanks for the 3rd head up Leely

kerouac

Speaking of slavishly following the rules, I went to a dinner one held by an American friend who was trying so hard to be more French than the French. She had set a lavish table with great amounts of cutlery, and I fear that I totally devastated her with a friendly remark. "You know, I hope, that any French person will immediately see that you are not French," I said. Her eyes bugged out as she inspected every single item on the table. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing is wrong," I tried to reassure her, "but you have laid out American dessert forks. In France, we only use dessert spoons."

It's all in the tiny details. If she had had any self assurance, she would have known that she could break any "rules" she wanted to. But she was the sort of person who reads these authoritative blogs and books on etiquette and will not stray from them one iota.

She even lived on rue Saint Louis en l'Ile because it was her idea of the epitome of Paris, but she was not able to live up to her own "French" standards. I think that it one of the reasons that she allowed herself to die.

I once wrote a report about visiting her grave: http://tinyurl.com/myfrienddonna

I still think often about how hard she tried and failed to apply all of these so-called rules and it is one of the reasons that I am so often dismayed by a lot of the <i>savoir-vivre</i> proclamations here. Don't worry, I do understand that I have sometimes made some of them myself.

Leely2

Donna died awfully young. What a shame.

Your photos are quite evocative.

StCirq

On summer a few years after I bought my house in the Dordogne, I decided to throw a 4th of July party for my neighbors. I of course had a helluva time even finding most of the ingredients: I had to hunt down corn on the cob for days; there was nothing like barbecue ribs for sale, so I had to settle for poitrine de porc; I did OK with the baked beans, minus molasses; and the cole slaw and potato salad were pretty easy. And of course I stocked up on cheap local wine and plenty of mineral water.

When the time came and we'd all had an apéro outside on the terrace, everyone sat down at our long outdoor table and the kids and I brought out the platters of food. The expressions on the faces of my neighbors were priceless, ranging from mystified to aghast. But we passed around the platters and most people took a little bit of everything (except the corn on the cob, of course...I should have realized...). Bit by bit,as the wine flowed, people began to taste things and ask questions and comment, and all their facial expressions turned to amiable, even excited. One by one, people started asking for seconds....not of everything, mostly the barbecue and beans and cole slaw and potatoes. By the end of the meal, when I brought out the apple pie, they all stood up and cheered, even though I had done just about everything "incorrectly."

Pvoyageuse

"we only use dessert spoons."

I wonder what those dessert forks are made for?
http://couverts.twenga.fr/fourchette-a-dessert.html

Pvoyageuse

" In France, we only use dessert spoons."

I wonder what these dessert forks are made for.
http://couverts.twenga.fr/fourchette-a-dessert.html

kerouac

They're made for tourists.

kerouac

.... and of course iconoclasts, of which France has plenty.

Pvoyageuse

Not at all, they are used widely.

kerouac

Hence the new obesity problem in France! ;-)

I think the French are trying to copy the things they find quirky and interesting in the United States. And of course, what respectable home does not also have sets of chopsticks?

Pvoyageuse

You bet. Dessert forks are as old as dessert spoons and dessert knives and have been part of the traditional silver "ménagère" for ages.

Les couverts à fromage et à dessert
Ceux-ci n'apparaissent pas sur la table lors d'un repas de cérémonie : ils seront apportés avec les assiettes correspondantes.
Pour un repas moins officiel, ils seront placés en haut de l'assiette de la façon suivante : la cuillère et le couteau se placent manche à droite, le tranchant du couteau étant dirigé vers l'assiette ; la fourchette est disposée dans l'autre sens, manche à gauche.

Underhill

In Hamburg I bought a set of dessert forks; they're basically for pastries. At least, that's what I use them for: just the right size.

cigalechanta

Here's a list of those serving forks and other serving pieces. I recently sold alot of antique serving pieces
because I needed many house repairs and today no one uses some of the exotic ones, only the basics. Cleanig, polishing silver was also a hassle.

cigalechanta

oops!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fork

christycruz

I know this one's for real, because I watched an American guest do it and heard the gasps of outrage from the French guests: cutting the "nose" point off a wedge of brie, instead of just slicing another "pie slice."

The American guest was my husband. I was both tickled and mortified at the same time. The French tried to mask their gasps and pretend nothing had happened, but they kept sneaking glances at the poor disfigured brie.

kerouac

Ladies, I did not mean to make you feel insecure in my mention of dessert spoons, but apparently I touched a raw nerve with the need of some people to justify having them. People can use whatever they want for dessert, and the sellers of tableware would like to convince you to buy as many items as possible. I'm sure that dessert forks exist in at least 10 different sizes, and you need all of them.

However, in the world of those of us with limited means (which does not include very many of you when I see at which hotels you stay and which restaurants you frequent), there is a very simple reason for the dessert spoon -- it doubles as the coffee spoon. We peasants are often very practical people and if we can cut down on the amount of dishwashing, which is often still done manually, we look for those shortcuts. We have also been known not to change plates for every course, but I can sense that many of you are already aghast, so I will try not to displease you any more on this subject. My warmest regards and sympathy for your kitchen staff, even more so if your kitchen staff means "you."

FoFoBT

We have dessert forks and spoons, but no knives. Yes, we use the dessert spoons as coffee spoons (or vice versa).
We recently bought a set of sardine forks like these
http://www.leopardantiques.com/object/stock/detail/416

I'd never heard of sardine forks before and they were only about $1 each (vintage WMF, not antique Russian silver like in the web site above). They come in handy even though we rarely eat sardines. We also have a set of raclette knives and forks; the little curved knives are great for opening up saran wrapped foods (we don't make raclette either, but the set of six forks and knives was only $3, so we figured what the heck).

FoFoBT

Here's the WMF version - we bought them only because we liked the goofy on the handle - goes well with our British gurgling fish jug

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Silver-plate...-/110720093045

kerouac

I think everybody needs snail forks in France, too, but they are probably far less useful in other countries. What would not be of much use here are the corn-on-the-cob holders.

Padraig

What really impresses me when I dine in French homes (yes, I do manage to get invited) is the set of utensils that are provided for eating crab.