where on when do you draw the line??
I have a relative coming over to visit me from he States. She has gotten rather obsessed with NOT checking a bag.

She's already shipped gifts for my children over to my house. An expensive for both of us! She's paid almost the price of her airline ticket in at the post office. And I'll get a huge bill from customs soon enough.
And now she's said "no" to taking gifts from other relatives as "she's not checking a bag." Her advice was to ship your stuff too.

I'm not sure what my question is in all of this. Perhaps just a Friday rant. But can any one suggest a way to talk some sense into her???? Or is it just live and let live??

The "no checked bags" people often have the fervor of recent converts to a cult, so I'm not sure anything you say will get through to her.

You might try telling her what you've just said here, about the extra expense that her idée fixe is costing you and her and may impose on others as well.

The first time British Air insisted I check my suitcase... was the best things that ever happened to me! Now I do carefully pack a true "carry-on" small wheeled bag, in a way that I could live our of it for a day or two if necessary. Consider me a reformed cult member.

highledge, I'm gonna guess there's no taking sense to this person, sounds like.

Tell her to forget gifts. That's her main problem, not "carry-on vs checked".

OK - I guess I'm part of the cult. When I'm travelling on my own I only take a 19 inch rollaboard - which is big enough for almost any trip. On Virgin and BA I have to check it so I'll take a slightly larger handbag to hold reading materials, meds, toiletries, etc.

BUT - if I am toting gifts and other bulky things I take a small duffle on board and check the 19 incher.

My guess is that your relative might not understand about duty on packages sent from overseas. BUT - if she does know about customs duty and ships the stuff anyway, then she is just selfish or clueless or both.

This is HER business to check or not to check a suitcase. This is YOUR business to go or not to go to a post office to receive the package.

By the way, what country is this? I know our relatives even in Belarus don't pay taxes if the package comes from a close relative. My husband signs his name on the paperwork, and his sister doesn't pay anything upon receiving.

Maybe your relative doesn't realize how much you have to pay?

My exact thought!!

OK now I'm curious... when I mail a Christmas gift to a friend in Switzerland from the U.S. - does she have to pay something on that end in order to receive it?

Quite possibly, suze. I've had to pay duty when people send me gifts from the US. One way around it (maybe) is to assign a $0 value to the item.

If you are giving her the gifts, then do so when she arrives or at Christmas. Then it is up to HER how to get them home.
I travel to another state for Christmas and would never expect my family to pay for mailing my gifts to my house.

Back to highledge's original question then... Maybe you simply need to explain to this relative about the costs you are having to pay when she does this. As others mentioned earlier, maybe she (like I) did not realize that.