BKP

We live outside of London and have a 2 1/2 year old. We're beginning to plan our trips for the following year and trying to come up with some child-friendly options, all of our trips will probably be within Europe, I'm thinking South of France, Tuscany, Greece, etc. We're here for my husband's work so there is no family to leave our son with. We do have a babysitter that we absolutely adore. She's 18 really sweet and really mature and my son has a great time with her. We're thinking about asking her if she would like to go on some family vacations with us. We've never had an au pair or a nanny before so we're a little nervous. Does anyone have any experience doing this?
Here are our questions:
Aside from airfare/hotel/food how much more should we offer to pay her?
How much "her" time do we need to give her -- time where she isn't responsible for our son?
Obviously we should set up some rules/boundaries before we go -- how do we ask her to give us some "family time?"
We're just looking for someone to help us manage the airport gauntlet, watch him while he naps so we can get out during the day for a couple of hours of less child friendly activities and then maybe again at night for some finer dining.
Any advice?

laustic

This is a tricky one for me. We've always travelled with the little one w/o help. And I'm not criticizing at all, because I do know how you can be limited evenings and nap times and it would be so nice to have a helping hand at times like that. I'd say you probably really need to compensate her a little extra beyond airfare/hotel/food. Especially if she is expected to stay in the room for naps and bedtime and then be on her own other times. Maybe some extra spending money? If this is something you do I'd just lay it all out there for her -- what you expect, etc. Maybe even draw up a sort of loose itinerary just so you're totally clear. Good luck and happy travels!

BKP

Thanks Laustic -- it is tricky! Just for clarification -- I don't think we'll be asking her to leave us alone when she isn't watching him. We really enjoy her company too!
Normally we vacation on our own too. But, we just returned from a trip to Rome w/ my sister in law. Our last night she was tired so she offered to stay in while we went out to eat. It was the best of both worlds -- we got to play with our son all day but then got some alone time at night. I was hoping to recreate that!
Thanks for your comments.

bilboburgler

My sister brought one with her form NZ a few years back. The deal was that she got paid for the time working, room and lodging, fights there and back but they got her an open return so after the 2 week holiday she stayed on for her own hols

laustic

This sounds like the kind of dream gig I would have loved as an 18 year old I bet you all have a wonderful time! Make sure to report back and tell us about your travels!

Christina

I am not in that income bracket, but perhaps you made a mistake, but I noticed you don't seem to think you should pay her for working for you and her time. You should pay her just as much for her time as you would at home. I think you have her confused with being a relative, so she should do all this for free for you.

ira

Hi BK,

You will have to pay her in addition to room and board and airfare.

Will she sleep in a room with the child or will you?

You will have to determine how many days/nights off she gets.

Since she is 18, she might still be considered a minor. If so, you will need her parent's permission, a letter authorizing you to take her out of the country singed by both parents, and a limited power of attorney in case of medical or other emergency.

You definitely need to speak to her parents.

flanneruk

"Since she is 18...you will need her parent's permission"

What century does ira live in?

The proposal is that an adult woman - old enough to be a company director, vote, get conscripted or buy a bottle of whisky - chooses to accompany acquaintances to other EU member states.

The thought she might need her father's assent to do that became old-fashioned about 1547. When the King was half her age.

Travelnut

In the US, 'legal age' can be confusing as it might differ from one state to another, and also drinking age and voting age are not always the same...So Ira's thought was not so far 'out there'.

MissPrism

You will essentially be employing this girl as an au-pair, that is somebody who is treated as a member of the family but who does a bit of babysitting or light housework in return for pocket money.
Have a look at the FAQs on this web-page http://tinyurl.com/2pokvn

They suggest
Au Pair

* Works up to 5 hours per day, 5 days per week
* Baby sits 2 evenings per week
* Receives 2 free days and 3 evenings off
* Weekly pay from £ 60

BKP

Oh no! I think I've been misunderstood. I definitely believe we should pay her! My question was, in addition to paying for her airfare, her food, and sleeping arrangement, how much MORE should we pay? We pay her an hourly rate here at home. Should I multiply that rate by 24 because she will be with us for 24 hours a day? Should I only factor in the time that she will be alone with the child? I would think she should be compensated for the time that she spends with us, helping get through the airport for instance, but should that be at the same rate as time she is alone? I guess I don't really want to bring a calculator on vacation and so was instead hoping to just have a flat offer.
If we were to stay in a hotel she would get her own room and the child would sleep with us. Preferably we would find an apt to rent as I believe that is easier with a child.
If we spend 4 nights do you think offering her 1 night to go out on her own is adequate?
I know she is an adult but I do feel responsible for her if she comes with us. We will talk with her parents before any actual plans are made.
Does anyone have experience doing any thing like this?
Thank you all for your comments!

laustic

I think coming up with a daily rate is reasonable (versus clocking the hours she spends with child on vacation). Perhaps do a tally of the time she'd be alone with the child for naps and bedtime and pay her an approximate hourly wage.

For example:

2 hours for nap + 3 hours at night + 2 hours for help during the day = 7 hours/day.

And then come up with an hourly wage that you think is fair and that's her daily wage.

She is technically an adult, but she's also someone's "child" and only recently became and adult so I don't see a problem with just talking with her parents.

BKP

Thanks for all the additional comments that were made while I posting. That's a great website! Those seem like really good guidelines for what to expect and what to pay. Although, I have to admit, that I thought it would be more expensive.
Flanner -- she is 18 -- and carries a UK passport -- will there be any legal problems? I have looked a little online but haven't found any thing stating one way or the other.

Cimbrone

BKP--I think it was very clear that you intend to pay her. I was wondering why a couple of people thought otherwise...

I agree that she is being employed as an au pair. MissPrism offers good advice.

It sounds like you will not be taking advantage of this young woman. Lay all of the terms out in advance. If she accepts, then you know you've done what you need to do.

laustic

I think it was my post that might have led people think she wasn't planning on paying the babysitter. I'm sorry!

Anyway, I hope you have some wonderful travels with your family! You are so lucky

chartley

"If so, you will need her parent's permission, a letter authorizing you to take her out of the country singed by both parents"

Ira is almost right here. In the olden days, letters were sealed with wax and marked with a seal. Now we just write our names and then hold the paper near a candle so that the edge goes brown.

To be serious though, while I cannot see any problem with taking the baby sitter once you have negotiated an appropriate payment, won't you actually be employing someone in another country? Although this is legal because of E.U. law, presumably there might be tax considerations. There must be an allowance for such things in the regulations, but it would be good to check.

BKP

Chartley
I was assuming that since we would probably be "paying" less than 500 pounds (combination of flight, hotel, extra money, etc) we wouldn't have to worry about taxes, I will check though.

taitai

We have an au pair who has been on many trips with us. It really does help especially with the flights (I have three preschoolers) and getting a night away, etc. We do everything pretty much exactly as we do at home. She gets the same pay and is expected to work the same number of hours. She is invited to do everything that we do, although if she opts out for some quiet time, it is no big deal.

I would sit down with her and figure out roughly how many hours you think she will be working with you and come up with a daily rate. Talk about flexibility and expectations. Are you going somewhere where there is an attraction that she really wants to see? Can you factor that in? Or give her time to do it on her own? Let her know in advance what the sleeping arrangements will be and whether or not you will want a night or two for dinner with your husband with her back in the hotel or apartment with the kids.

The big thing, especially with vacations, is that there will be times she is on for only 15 minutes and then off again. For instance, boarding the plane and getting everyone settled she is needed. However, if your child sleeps during the flight she really isn't. So, it is that type of flexibility and agreeing to a daily rate that is important.

Have fun.
Taitai

ira

My dear Flanner,

You manged to elide the operating phrase, "she might still be considered a minor", from my post.

Irrespective and quite regardless of what you might think, it is a proper legal consideration.

In the US she is not permitted to buy alcohol.

(This is an excellent example of why the voting age should be raised to 21. After all, if 18-20 yr-olds voted, the drinking age would be the same as the voting age.)

ira

Hi BK,

>We pay her an hourly rate here at home. Should I multiply that rate by 24 because she will be with us for 24 hours a day?<

Definitely not.

You will be providing a large sum for airfare, etc.

The rate you pay, and the number of hours for which you pay, should be sufficient to provide pocket money for while she is travelling with you.

>...was instead hoping to just have a flat offer.

Of course.

> If we spend 4 nights do you think offering her 1 night to go out on her own is adequate? <

Definitely.

>Does anyone have experience doing any thing like this?

Yes.