I like Amsterdam much better than Berlin. To my mind, it's a beautiful and more interesting city. If, by family, you mean children, I suspect that they'd find Amsterdam more to their liking. Berlin has some great museums, and Potsdamm is nearby.

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I've been to both more than once and I like them both for differing reasons.

I realize it is subjective but I think depending on what you are REALLY interested in, four days is enough in either if you are very interested in seeing the other.

I think these days you can get between the two in five or so hours..I notice there aren't as many direct services as there used to be.

I would NOT rent a car just to make that trip..either fly on the cheap or take the train.

You aren't possibly going to see it "all" in either place even if you spend your entire vacation there. But I do have to ask, how much input has your family had in this decision?

Berlin hands down. Amsterdam is the dirtiest city North of the Alps. It also has an illicit drug and sex culture that permeates the entire city and tourist industry. Berlin's museums are world class. Amsterdam's museums really aren't in the same class.

You could productively spend your entire trip in Berlin and the immediate surroundings. If you choose Amsterdam, you should throw in at least the Benelux area and maybe throw in Koln or Paris.

Driving from Berlin to Amsterdam is a long trip, I wouldn't put the two in one trip.

Amsterdam's drug culture is hardly illicit. It is very open and to a certain extent legal. It is very possible to avoid both the drugs and the prostitution in Amsterdam. Berlin is not exactly a drug/sex industry free zone either. By next summer a huge chunk of the RLD will be cleaned up and turned into an area full of cafés and shops.

Try to get an open jaw flight into AMS and out of Berlin.

Assuming seven nights, I think three nights Amsterdam and 4 nights Berlin would make for a good trip. Eight days in Amsterdam would be too long. I could stay eight days in Berlin.

I would fly between the two cities.