This is not a travel question, but I thought some Fodorites might have some advice on something that happened to me recently: <BR> <BR>I ordered the soup du jour 7-mushroom soup. The waiter set the bowl down in front of me, and the woman sitting across from me (a co-worker's wife) looked at it and squealed, "Ew yuck! I hate mushrooms! How can you eat that?!" My response was a simple, "well, I like them" before I dug in. What would have been a really good comeback to that--without sounding equally as rude?

It would have been acceptable to just reach into your vest pocket, pull out your derringer, and shoot her right between the eyes. <BR>

I might have said something like "Oh, I'm terribly sorry - I forgot to check with the waiter to find out what you like before I ordered anything."

I think you should invite her back to your apt. and keep her locked up for a few days until she is REALLY hungry. At that point you could offer her only Campbells mushroom soup. All she can eat.

A clever retort like "your mother wears army boots" would have done it. <BR> <BR>Less drastic than the derringer method, though you'd avoid any future problems with that solution.

Reminds me of the time my friend and I were chowing down linguine con vongole at our favorite restaurant in Florence (da Pennello). The (American) woman at the table next to ours declaimed loudly to her companion, "Well you just eat those things, and you'll be dead by morning." She kept going on and on about how she just didn't understand how people could eat those things. I guess she thought were both hard of hearing as well as stupid. I just smiled and slurped up some more of those little critters.

I'd say: "Let's make a deal: I won't comment on your lack of manners, if you will refrain from commenting on my menu selection."

All kinds of possibilities. <BR> <BR>"I can eat them because I am a person of considerable taste and rare culture." <BR> <BR>"They enhance my sexuality." (I didn't want to make assumptions re:your gender, but you could be more graphically specific as to what, exactly, they enhance about your sexuality.) <BR> <BR>"You're absolutely right. Forgive me. Waiter! Waiter! I wish to speak to the management, immediately! This is inexcusable!" <BR> <BR>"Oh, really? Well, just wait 'til you see my entree." <BR> <BR>However, the sad thing is that I think Miss Manners would probably applaud your response, or something equally bland, such as "well, good thing we don't all like the same thing, isn't it?" At most, she'd probably allow you to say nothing but allow a longish pause in the conversation while you look at her in astonishment. Never underestimate the power of silence. <BR> <BR>If you are a bit of an actor, of course, you could embarrass the heck out of her and yourself by insisting (as some friends have done to me regarding such "delicacies" as tripe and haggis) that she try some: "Oh, you must never have had GOOD mushrooms. These are just wonderful, here let me give you just a taste. No, really, try it. Try it, no really I insist, try it, just try it. You'll love it -- here, try it. It'll be great." Make a big show of putting some on a butter plate or -- better -- shoving a spoonful at her -- and don't relent until you can't stand it anymore yourself! <BR> <BR>;-} <BR> <BR>Mama Cass

Do you remember the story about the guy who goes to university to learn spakling wit and repartee in order to get his own back on a clown in a circus? <BR> <BR>The punchline is F*** O** You Red Nosed B*******

Look her straight in the eye and say "at least I know where THEY" (meaning the mushrooms) "were raised!" <BR>

Sandy, In all honesty, I think your answer was the best one, making you look very classy indeed. Had you responded in kind, you would have let the rest of the table know that you and she are kindred souls. You did fine, and everyone else who heard now has much more respect for you than for her. And I'll bet that coworker's wife was a bit nervous meeting her spouses' coworkers and that she regretted saying that as soon as it left her mouth.

OK, Cass. You win. I love the "Try a Bite" routine. Priceless. <BR> <BR>I would probably have used the old standby response that works for most social situations, including rude questions like "How Much Money Do You Make?": <BR> <BR>"I beg your pardon?"

Thanks for all your replies, especially Mama Cass! I'm generally a pretty reserved person, but I love the idea of forcing a taste on her. When she made her comment, everyone was silent for a moment, then it just kind of blew over. I had really wanted to say something like, "Well, nobody will be able to eat anything with that awful perfume you have on", but I'm too reserved and I guess, "classy" <BR> <BR>I also thought of a similar situation involving one of MY coworkers. She and I had coordinated a dinner at a really nice French restaurant for our international sales reps. One of the dishes on the menu the chef prepared especially for our group included ostrich. I think over half the people at our table, including me, ordered this plate. She then made a very loud comment to the whole table on how an ostrich was a beautiful bird and it was too cruel to eat them. Punchline: she had ordered the veal. <BR> <BR> -Sandy

God, but you must be one sick person. Why would anyone in their right mind eat a bunch of fungi? Sick, sick, sick, and on top of it you insulted your dining partner. No taste and no class describes you. A dirty nasty fungi eater. What next for you? Egg sucking?

"I can't tell you how much your opinion means to me."