FainaAgain

I don't think I will mention that to DH he might take offense to that.

Oh heck with it..too bad...I think it's funny. He works with a real bunch of stuffed shirts !!!!

FainaAgain

I was posting when you were I guess. Didn't see your last post.

I'm in real trouble...DH is a CPA as well as an attorney. Does Security Law. I guess he has a double dose of un-funny

I once saw a business card for a CPA that said "Numbers don't scare us; people do."

Faina, oh that was very funny!

Ah, regarding accountants, recently took my DH to see Avenue Q. He didn't know it was a play with puppets (he's gotta get out more often, lol). It took him a while to loosen up, but he finally did "get it"

Actually my Enrolled Agent has a great sense of humor (wonder what his problem his LOL) but let me tell you...also have family members that are Biologist. Now if you want to know a bunch of people that do not have a sense of humor...oooops, that in not PC. Sorry!!!

A woman comes home from the hypnotist and tells her husband:
"Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks. "What happened?"
His wife replies: "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache. I do not have a headache.' It worked! The headaches are all gone."
The husband replies: "Well, that is wonderful."
His wife then says: "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He puts her on the bed and says: "Don't move. I'll be right back."
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says: "Boy that was wonderful!"
The husband says: "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says: "Don't move, I'll be right back."
With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror saying:
"She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife!"

worldinabag.... Too Funny...

hee,hee,hee! That was very funny, worldinabag!

hahahah worldinabag, that's funnyyyyyy!

Thanks Ira for having started this thread and to the ones that have contributed with their jokes (I am terrible with jokes, nobody laughs or I forget the end). I LOVE jokes and everything that brings a smile. So sorry for those that don't have enough humour to see that...

Love all of them! And I'm so sorry that some people can't laugh at themselves or try to be so politivaaly correct that they lose any sense of humor they might have possessed! Did they ever have a sense of humor?

Guess they have never been to the catskills and listened to the performers there!

Anyone remember this old joke (I heard it in 7th grade). Fellow walks into his gym. Starts changing into his gym clothes. The fellow next to him says "my gosh John, when did you start wearing a girdle?". John says "ever since my wife found it in my glove compartment!".

A girdle....now you know how old this joke is, LOL. But we sure giggled when it was passed around our class.

BATUFFOLINA,

I have a joke for you although it’s not really travel related it’s the only joke I’ve been able to remember for the last 6 years.

I’ve posted this on Fodors before so it won’t be a new one for some posters - Hi, LoveItaly, how are you?

Now remember! I didn’t say it was a good joke just easy to remember

What’s ET short for?












Cos he’s got little legs

POLITICALLY!

LoveItaly, I heard that old joke recently. But now it was a thong and not a girdle.

Great thread! I was trying to think of something to contribute and couldn't get this old Billy Connolly gag out of my mind, so here goes:

Paddy and Seamus go on their first trip to the continent and wind up in a bar in Rome.

Paddy says to the barman, "Two pints of Guinness."
Barman: "We don't serve Guinness here."
Paddy: "Well, what does the Pope drink?"
Barman (slyly): "The Pope drinks nothing but creme de menthe."
Paddy: "Right. We'll have two pints of that."

Several pints of creme de menthe later, the boys pass out in a laneway. They wake up the next morning feeling very shabby.

Paddy says to Seamus, "I can't believe the Holy Father drinks that stuff."

"Yeah," replies Seamus. "No wonder they have to carry him everywhere in a chair."

Scarlett, that's the best joke I've heard in a long time! Nice to know you're smart as well as charming!

Scarlett, that was hilarious, it was perfect, no one could be offended. thanks for the laugh, Deborah

Hello back alya, hope all is well with you!

And Patrick, thanks for updating the girdle joke, LOL. I have always laughed about this joke because it was the first "bad joke" we told..we thought we were quite BAD, LOL. Take care and hugs to Lee.

Thanks, all, for a great laugh - really needed one (or fifty) today.

Ira - you rock

A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines
from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?

"The mother (who couldn't think of an answer)told her son to ask the flight
attendant.

So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, "If dogs have baby
dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?

"The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"

The little boy admitted that she did.

"Well, then, tell your mother that
there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time.
Now, let your mother explain that to you."