"Mastering French manners, the hard way"

http://tinyurl.com/ygd2nd

Thanks for the link, J.

Oh how funny! I just posted the same article and only saw your post afterwards. We must have crossed in the 'ether'

I've had French locals wish me 'bon appetit' at meals - so were they insulting me..?

<<<And apparently in France it's good manners to keep your elbows ON the table, and your hands visible.<<<<
Uh ! How many kids you will see in France, getting their elbows hit on the table by a mther or a father and the parent saying 'don't put your elbows ON the table until you are finished'.
Putting your elbows on the table are definitely BAD table manners, but wrists have to be above the table, else you'll hear 'are you feeding the dog ?' (or something else)
And the 'Bon appetit' thing is also rubbish

Well, I know in Italy it is impolite to make appreciative noises about your food. No mmmmm'ing or ahhhh'ing. Every time I forget and murmer a yum I get the strangest looks from Italian friends.

Sorbet with a fork? No foie gras on toast?

I never knew my French friends were so rude!

norween wrote: "Putting your elbows on the table are definitely BAD table manners"

Sez who? And how is it bad-mannered? Rules of etiquette should be maintained only so long as they have a purpose. If there is room, I'll put my elbows on the table.

Polly Pratt whom everyone likes wrote never ask to use the toilet and never bring wine.
That's fine if you are visiting someone who lives in a castle.
All my friends appreciate the wine we and others bring. They are not rich.
They rather I use the toilet than their garden or floor
Flowers should be sent after only because if she has nio hired help like my friends, she's busy in the kitchen and welcoming guests and she'd have to search for a proper container and table space.

If you are a guest never bring Chrysanthemums, these flowers In Italy,are associate with the Deads and are reserved exclusively for the Cemetery.

>Rules of etiquette should be maintained only so long as they have a purpose. If there is room, I'll put my elbows on the table.<

And hunch over your plate and gulp your food; and blow your nose in your napkin; and spit on the floor.....

Well, obviously I hang out with the wrong sort of French people, who don't know they shouldn't say 'Bon apetit' - in fact some of them try to be very polite, and wish me 'Good appetite.' They too appreciate the bottle of wine we bring, and are always interested to see what different vintages we've found.

We read Polly Platt shortly after arriving here in 1994, and found some useful things in it. But the comment I've never forgotten is that you always know when to leave - when your hostess offers the orange juice after dinner. Neither I nor any of my French friends have ever been offered juice. Maybe that's why they stay so long!

One thing no one has mentioned, which we have found to be true - don't cut your lettuce! Much more polite to wrap it around your fork.

Re "bon appetit".

Rick Steve took his family to Germany on his latest show.

As the kids were starting on their Schwarzwalder torte he said, "Bon appetit".

Well it looks like that Caroline has read also "Almost French" by S.Turnbull..
She is using the same expressions,verbatim by verbatim,when referring to the dinner party.

Also every french i knew says: Bon Appetit!!

Reguarding keeping the hands below the table while eatings, this is a NoNo in Italy also.
Know keeping the elbows on the table is very vulgar and depict poor manners

I guess Julia Child had bad manners.

"Bone appetit!" to all of you [the spelling error is deliberate].

I had not seen this thread when I answered another one on the same subject. I'll copy my response here:

At my first dinner party in Paris after marrying my "Practice Wife", I got the "hands above the table" treatment. These were friends of PW from when she worked at UNESCO. I was very much on trial as the "New American Husband".

Our host looked over at me, left hand firmly clamped in my Yankee lap, and asked, "What are you doing with your hand, playing with yourself?"

Stunned, I could only come back with, "No, I'm playing with your Wife!"

The table broke up, and I had passed my test. The rest of the evening went splendidly.

I'm trying to figure out how you eat while keeping your hands under the table.

Nuke, That story I read a few years ago but not from you
wrists not elbows on table BUT I do see the Frnch with elbows on tables.

Cingal,

I did post that story on this site, in a slightly different context, a few years back, so it could have been that you read.

The BBC has many foreign correspondents and one gave his final report after a few decades living in Paris, on Radio 4. He mentioned an incident where he was waiting to see a parade with his pet dog (a little one). The dog cocked it's leg to do it's business and one of the two gendarmes standing nearby pulled a gun and pointed it at the dog, threatening to shoot it if it did what it intended. The man had to drag his dog away.

Living in France, I still see shops with a "free entry" sign on them. They are doing you a favour by letting you go inside to buy something.

One thing I do like about the French is that they are usually punctual. When I lived in Britain, someone telling you they would arrive between 8am and 6 pm on a certain day meant only if they had the time and inclination.